Koo Koo For Cocoa Putz

Link To Today’s Slice O’ Holiday Cheer

Beck I hear you calling
But I can’t come home right now,
Me and the band are in shambles,
And Harry ain’t around

Just a few more hours
And he’ll tell me what to do,
I think I hear him cackling,
Oh Beck, what can I do?

Sorry. Sorry about the post title too. Maybe one day we’ll have a big SoSF contest and YOU can try to title these things. Trust me, aside from reading the strip it’s the hardest thing about this. Anyhow, today we see WHS’ incredibly lax security exposed, as John blithely saunters into the school toting some hot chocolate for his right-handed bride Becky without as much as a “visitor” pass to identify himself. Shameful in this day and age. Apparently our armless pal Becky needs to burn the midnight oil and spend endless nights toiling over having her band play some basic Christmas standards for an hour and apparently there’s some sort of cutting edge band software involved as well, software I assume Dinkle invented. I like how she has to identify her own husband by his full name so “casual” FW readers will know they’re married, as how else would they? I bet that if you were to (ugh) go back and check out the entirety of (gak) Act III Becky and John are in maybe ten or fifteen panels together total. Ten or fifteen too many if you ask me.

This has been mentioned in the comments before, but isn’t it, uh…”interesting” how every FW character’s “passion” is always depicted as a thankless miserable chore? Drawing comic books, making pizza, writing maudlin cancer books, playing tennis, teaching music…no one ever actually enjoys these pursuits, they merely endure them. It’s just a thought, but perhaps FW might be more popular if only its worldview wasn’t so perpetually downbeat. But you already knew that.

Please DON’T have mistletoe.

Link to Today’s Comic.

I stayed up late waiting for this strip to drop. And thank Dead St. Lisa, we are no longer having ‘the talk.’ Instead Holly and Funky are entertaining their only two repeat customers.

And, actually, today’s strip is amusing enough, and does point out an actual weird lyric in a famous song. (There is a historical explanation,, but it’s within character for the Funky Bunch to not know it.) It isn’t a completely dead tradition though, I remember one Christmas where, on the tree, were envelopes with cash inside. Pretty good presents on that tree that year.

I have a feeling that Holly would hate me though. As a child that grew up on way too much MST3K, my logic sensors are primed to sniff out any tiny inconsistency and snark on it. What I’m saying is, I’m really relating to Funky in today’s strip…and isn’t that a terrifying thought.

The Little Lines Mean Excitement.

Link to Today’s Comic.

Sorry for the late post again tonight, connection issues continue.

Funny how in that tux Crazy starts to look like the South Bend Shovel Slayer from Home Alone.

It’s strange that the only way Batiuk has left to show Crazy being crazy is shouting and over-exuberance, when in the old days, from what I’ve seen, it was actually crazy ideas…being presented by a laid-back pseudo-stoner.

Of course DSH isn’t going to Comic Con again. He’s boring as mud. His original point was a vessel for Batiuk’s comic fandom, but now that comic fandom is the default for the male Westviewian, DSH has been rendered superfluous, only to show up now and then behind the counter in the comic shop, like a bartender in a city of drunks. I doubt Tom even knows why the storyline about DSH being a consultant on the Starbuck movies fizzled, but he at least subconsciously realizes that this poor sad sack is not needed to be the nearly mute sidekick of a sidekick parroting whatever inane reactions to the Crazy Harry Craziness that Les or Cayla could just as well spout.

Connection Issues

Link to Today’s Comic.

Internet is down at my apartment. So working off of my friend’s phone turned into the world’s coldest slowest hotspot. So I’ll keep this short.

All I will say is that it is very rude of Les to walk in on Harry and DSH when they’re trying on tuxes and rehearsing their wedding vows. And I had no idea DSH had left the-one-armed bandit, and Harry had divorced Mrs. Eliminator. But then again, when was the last time we saw either of them with their ‘wives’.

“Variant” Curiosity

Link to Today’s Comic.

Yeah, yeah Chester, “purely out of curiosity.” I said the same thing when I went to go see Magic Mike. There’s nothing ‘pure’ about it. At least we’ve confirmed for sure that the Komix Korner basically sells porn.

I am wondering just what Chester means by “the other half.” He’s been shown to collect Starbuck Jones, The Amazing Mister Sponge, The Lunar Cadets, and whatever the heck Chicken Coop Charlie and Pork Chop Chuck is. He has Batman and Superman on the gates to his private palace. He can’t be one of those really insufferable comics fans that turns their nose up at anything that isn’t Saga or something.

Also Variant covers are a massive scam. I have a friend who checks online and tells her comics shop beforehand which cover of the next Transformers comics she likes. If she doesn’t get the one she wants, she buys it TWICE. Madness!