Tribulations and Trials

DCH John Howard is charged with heinous comics crimes! CBH is on the case! I am highly qualified to provide legal commentary and counsel on this fictional court room drama. Below, a list of my qualifications.

1.) My friend is a lawyer.

2.) I have a working internet connection, and am not afraid of the CIA seeing my search history.

3.) My mom has 60% of the OJ Simpson Trial recorded on VHS.

4.) I once got two speeding tickets in one week.

So I am READY. I am KNOWLEDGEABLE.

Let me flash some of that sweet sweet knowledge!

Continue reading “Tribulations and Trials”

Book It!

Took me forever to realize that these lumpy headed monsters were supposed to be buckeyes. Makes Ayer’s 2021book festival art look like a a masterpiece.

As Y. Knott, Duck of Death, and our other Crankshaft correspondents have informed us, Lillian is currently at the Ohioana Book Festival, which is going on for realsies this weekend. I briefly had considered going, (seriously,) just for a wacky vacation road trip with a wacky destination. I’ve already forced my housemate, partner-in-crime, and heterosexual life partner, to promise that someday we’ll do a fun Funky tour. But we couldn’t go this year due to the very following crucial factors:

1.) Cows.

Still, probably would have been a low-key fun time. Especially since I’m pretty easy to please.

Continue reading “Book It!”

All Gory, Lard, and Horror, to you Repulsive King,

Look, it’s been a weird week, okay? So you’re getting weird art. Tornados to the north and south of us. Windstorm here. Ripped off my parent’s chimney and broke four power lines. (But everyone, everycat, and everymoo in CBHville is safe.) Weird.

Continue reading “All Gory, Lard, and Horror, to you Repulsive King,”

Maid to Order

Today’s Dinkshaft Double Feature is brought to you from the pen of Chuck Ayers, the words of Tom Batiuk, and the diabolical mind of TFH.

Ha! Ha Ha! Senility is hilarious! Just ask Bull Bushka!
Ha! Ha Ha Ha! Assuming your audience will be predominantly one gender is both narrow-minded and unprofitable! Hilarious!
Continue reading “Maid to Order”