Bu(zzzzz)Kill

Link To Today’s Strip

He’s back: The Delicate Genius, the paragon of integrity and virtue, the defender of the Gospel According to Lisa, the man who has the courage and conviction to see right through the perverse decadence and evil greed that rules “Hollywood” and the twisted freaks that dwell within. That’s right, the smug, annoying dick with ears himself, Les f*cking Moore, along with his trusty imaginary sidekick, Anxiety Cat!

In this installment of “Les Writes The Same Story Again And Again And Again”, it seems that Clay Wallace, noted Hollywood scumbag, has concerns about Les’ shitty script. So he’s postponing the “pilot” and doing a “table read” instead, which makes no sense at all unless you’re a bad comic strip writer trying to toss around “show-biz” lingo, in which case it’s perfectly logical. Maybe they’re turning the cancer book into a series now, where another shoe will drop each and every week.

(“Previously on Lisa’s Story”:……..”Is she….???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”)

And look at TheAuthor trying to work that ridiculous cat into the story again. Les’ imaginary friend means he’s about to suffer once again from the intense angst and self-loathing that comes with the territory for a profoundly gifted “writer” like him. He has no problem with dropping one of his dry little sarcasm bombs on his boss like a big wiseass but when it comes to plying his trade for money he starts simpering in the corner again, all worried about the universe conspiring against him and so forth. He’s just so incredibly insufferable. Look at him there in panel three with that smug obnoxious look on his face, who can look at that panel and not think about killing the guy? What a dick.

Do They? Do They Really?

Today’s strip portrays the exchange of “I dos” at Montoni’s, because of course they ended up at Montoni’s, the only reliable social venue in the wretched town of Westview.

I promised you a non-sequitur, and Funky delivers it. His bad Winkerbean vibes having dissipated, and with a smirk that shifts his mouth half way to his left temple, Funky opines: “They don’t call Montoni’s ‘the wedding chapel of love’ for nothing!”

Never mind that he just subverted Wally’s wedding to do a promo for his business. They don’t call Montoni’s “the wedding chapel of love” at all. Also, how does that not dislocate his jaw?

Meanwhile, the weeping chef in the background is playing the old “I’m crushing your head” game.

I crush your head, then I cry!
I crush your head, then I cry!

Meanwhile, some random boy has been hanging around with Funky during the entire sequence.

A smirk and a random kid.
A smirk and a random kid.

Who is this kid? It hardly matters, as I expect Batominc will send him to the Corn Field of Discarded Characters, just like all these others that Epicus Doomus so kindly enumerated for us recently:

Frankie, Lennie, the gay prom dudes, Art Teacher, Jarod Posey, Dr. Patella, Radio Ron, Closeted Gay Prom Rock, Mallory the Perfect Human Genome, Rachel’s kid, Kili the cat and that annoying Dan guy, Cell Phone Girl, that tall blonde girl that was always on whatever team Summer was playing against, Travel Agency Woman, Plantman…

Dog Is My Copilot, Or, Suddenly Blonde

Today’s strip begins with intimations of canine brontophobia. I doubt we’ll hear of it again.

I do predict that this plot line will involve these:

  • A thunderstorm
  • A second inexplicable break in continuity (not today’s)
  • A change of venue
  • A non-sequitur from a major character
  • Smirking galore

I did not expect these:

  • The best man is a dog! The best man is a dog!

    The only way this could have been better for snarking is if Buddy had been transformed into an anthropomorphic Plugger dog.

  • Today’s inexplicable break in continuity: Rachel is suddenly blonde.

    Either that, or Wally is inadvertently marrying the wrong bride, because her profile does not match before-time Rachel (below).

Rachel in the before time (December)
Rachel in the before time (December)

Fraidy Cat

So on Monday, it was “Woe is me, no one has read my script or replied” but by today’s strip everyone has read it and is sending him feedback. The cat is making less and less sense the more he sticks around. It’s almost like there’s a gaggle of tulpa-cat loving housewives that just think Le Chat Blue is the best thing since Garfield. Can a Le Chat Blue hoodie be far behind? Viral Web memes? Macy’s day parade balloons!?

I still wonder what universe Les lives in where a book about someone’s wife dying of cancer would generate massive amounts of interest in Hollywood. I mean, for heavens sake, this is what people want to see in movies this summer:

Godzilla Slams San Francisco
Intelligent Apes Over-Run Mankind
Tom Cruise Does Groundhog Day
A Gun-Toting Raccoon and Talking Tree Save the Galaxy