Tag: Pete

A Dam Failure.

Link to Today’s Comic.

On March 20 of this year Chester laid out the raison d’être for Atomik Komikkkkks: “I want the stories in Atomic Comics to be heroic and uplifting! And there will be no gratuitous deaths unless we are absolutely convinced it will help sales.”

So of course, Pete’s first idea is an origin story involving thousands killed in a catastrophic flash flood.

And Darin is so casual, leaning back, smiling. As if he’s begging Pete to write him like one of his French comics. “Je serai Milou si tu vas être Tintin.”

Don’t Eat the ‘Magical’ ‘Pepperoni’.

Today’s strip is finally up.

“Waterlogged comics! Mixed with moldy discarded pizza toppings! And mildew! That’s our hero.”

Darin stares blankly at Pete.

“It emerges from the basement: a sentient mass in the vague shape of a man, but grotesque and lumpy. An abomination of pulped paper, and smeared three-color inks, held together by black mold and marinara.”

Darin doesn’t speak.

“But there’s this beautiful woman, see and she is entranced by his doughy nature, his strange charms. Even though they can’t be together in a traditional sense, she is willing to do anything, try anything, to feel in every cell of her being the deeper spiritual connection pulsing between the flawless woman and the eldritch Comicmuck Thing! All in a homage to Swamp Thing 34! You know, Alan Moore? Rite of Spring?”

Darin reluctantly puts his pencil to paper… “Okay Pete, if you’re sure you’re okay with us using your love life that way.”

 

Dry Drowning

Today’s strip is finally up.

I was desperately hoping that my return to the writer’s helm after months of this meandering nonsense would be the magical talisman to break this unending inanity. I was there when this plot started in February, and maybe now it could end.

No such luck. Pete is plodding along on his Cosmic Treadmill…using awful word association to come up with cut-rate characters. I’m sure that the Floodlight, or the Floodmaster, or Floody McFlooderson the World’s Wettest Woman, will be nothing more than a name, a costume, a gimmick, and an even worse arch nemesis with drought powers. No Batman or Captain America levels of backstory, built in angst, creeds, and psychological insight. Just a stupid idea, personified.

Floods of biblical proportions can’t drown shallow characters. They’re hollow and insubstantial rising to the top and clinging together in a choking mat of garbage.

Yes I am comparing TomBat’s idea of ‘comicbook characters’ with the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.

Bored Of The Lame

Link To Today’s Disappointment

Snore. LOTL is back but to no avail, as Pete is more focused than ever before and (zzzzzzz). Only in FW could a character merely doing his job (his dream job, no less) instead of aimlessly loafing, daydreaming and goofing off be considered noteworthy. I hope the Lord Of Anything Else visits a certain noted Ohioian comic strip writer soon, although the Lord Of Being Careful What You Wish For is tapping me on the shoulder right now too.

Anyhow, the Lord Of SoSF Snark can kick all their asses without breaking a sweat. Coming on Monday…the return of Comic Book Harriet, who, like the rest of us, is quite anxious to see if this AK arc will ever end.

Working For The Weak End

Link To The Thing We All Hate

I’d like to take a moment to thank TFH, our contributors and our loyal readers for standing tall during this ponderous and plodding time. He’s obviously trying to break our collective will here and the stand you’ve all taken during this extremely tedious time will never be forgotten. If Monday rolls around and Funky is jogging or something it’ll be like emerging into daylight after some sort of long protracted siege of dullness or a really boring natural disaster of some kind.

And speaking of time that’ll never be forgotten, I must have fallen into a lengthy coma and missed several months of strips, as AK is apparently already up and running and brimming with treadmill inspired brilliance. He crammed several seconds of story into the first eleven and a half weeks of this thing and now suddenly, completely out of nowhere, everything has abruptly lurched forward in the most boring way possible. I mean maybe I’m wrong and this was just the most productive day in the history of new comic book companies but given the characters we’re talking about here that seems very unlikely.

I just really want Pete, Boy Lisa, Chester and AK to go away for a while…a long while. I usually complain when he just abandons story threads and never resolves them but in this case I’m genuinely rooting for it to happen.