Tag: Pete

Secret Origins: Chester the Chiseler!

Link to today’s strip.

“Once, back in the day, mild-mannered Blonde Bernie Silver, secretly known as Chester the Chiseler, was carefully sweeping the floor.  Suddenly–!”

So, I suppose we’re about to find out why Chester’s such a terrible, terrible person.  Well, so far, he’s actually working at an honest job, which is better than 90% of the cast here, so…ball one, in favor of Chester.

I’m really starting to hate Tom Batiuk’s endless self-promotion, which seems to be getting worse and worse, to the point where it’s getting nauseating–case in point, Bernie’s Chester’s Batom Comics t-shirt.  Completely unneeded, except as a “look at me!” moment.  Good grief, man, try entertaining someone other than yourself for a change.

The art in panel one is pretty dismal, with what look like two of the dreariest Muppets ever trying to deflate themselves.  I do like the statue of Robin in the back, reaching for Superman’s crotch, though I have to wonder–does Batman know about this?!

I suppose he does…after all, he’s standing right there, moaning about “back in the day…”

Speaking of which, anyone remember this?

In other words, he was lying through his teeth.  Yet another wonderful character to root for!

Taking Sides

Link to today’s strip.

Ladies and gentlemen, for your reading pleasure enjoyment fun made easier, we present today’s strip vertically.  Neckstrain begone!

Why Tom Batiuk feels he has to create strips like this is something completely beyond my comprehension.  It’s not like this is witty or insightful dialogue that deserves a special presentation.  It can easily fit into a regularly oriented strip.  But then, it wouldn’t stand out on the comics page!  And once standing out, the reader reads and either shrugs or gets mad.  Today’s episode can basically be reworded thus:  “How’s Mindy?”  “Eh.  [pause] You were pretty snooty in high school.”  “Was not.”

You could make the argument that the dialogue I wrote above isn’t funny.  And I’d agree with you.  Then I’d ask you if you thought Tom Batiuk’s dialogue was funny, and there’d be this awkward silence until I said something like “Say, how about those sports teams!” and we could go on with our lives.

The main point here seems to be that Peeved is half-assing his relationship with Mindy…who lives in Centerville.  Ohio.  And apparently he goes out to see her enough that she hasn’t completely forgotten about him, like I wish I could.  So maybe he does jet out to Ohio all the time?  And yet this trip is some big deal?  I guess maybe he just uses Skype to, uh, “court” her, the way he did when he and Dullard were in separate cities.   What a fun thing for her, eh?  Lucky thing for Peeved that Mindy has no standards and decided on him.  She obviously has no expectations out of life whatsoever, other than it will, at some point, mercifully end.

Installing a Hard Drive

Link to today’s strip.

Hiya folks, BChasm back manning the tower.  Thanks to Comic Book Harriet for her excellent stint last week; that she was more entertaining than the strip itself goes without saying, if I do say so myself.

As for today’s entry, well those of you speculating that Dullard, Jess, Skyler and Peeved were going to drive to Ohio were indeed on the right track.  The fact that this trip is going to take nearly forty hours of non-stop driving to cover nearly 2300 miles makes this plan an idiot’s delight.   If this was a week-long vacation trip to see the country and visit some landmarks, that would work fine, but Dullard said the purpose was to visit “the grandparents” so this just becomes a stupid waste of time.  (Hey!  Just like some comic strips!)  Oh well, I bet Skyler’s been ret-conned into a teenager, so he can probably help with the driving.

And it’s not as if these people are afraid of air travel–I seem to recall Peeved beaming dopily at some Ohio landmark (Les’ house?).  I’m sure in Tom Batiuk’s mind, a trip like this is mebbe a leetle bit longer than going from Dayton to Columbus, so gasoline, restaurants, hotels and a screaming toddler wouldn’t be issues at all.

And yes–it is possible that they’re just driving to the airport.  And all this garbage about  backpacks is just as meaningless as every other episode of this strip.  But, you know, telling the readers things (“I’ll be happy to give you a lift to the airport”) is so much more effective than simply attempting some “wry” “banter” that implies an arduous journey.

But doing things the simple, logical, understandable way, so that readers know what’s going on…why, that never leads to award nominations.

Spot Six Differences!

Wow! Bob Weber of Slylock Fox would be proud of today’s offering.

At first I thought there was something wrong, and they simply hadn’t updated the strips. Because today is a reprint of yesterday’s strip. But upon further inspection there do seem to be tiny, subtle differences between yesterday and today. See if you can find all six!

It took me hours and hours, but I finally found one: The cosmic treadmill that Pete and Darin bought on their second honeymoon is in the background of panel two! How many can you find?

What a fun and interactive game Batiuk has given us. It may not progress the plot, deepen the characters, or be even in the least bit interesting or funny, but at least it fills a Friday shaped hole in our week. One more box checked off as we all coast inevitably to an obscure retirement, and an unlauded death.

So Fun!

Bloop Bloop.

There is less than nothing going on today.

This is like when horrible one note authors attempt to pad out their paychecks by writing the same story again, but gender flipped or from the guy’s perspective this time! We have reached Life and Death or Grey levels of storytelling here people.

So because there is no plot to speak of. I’ll just point out some tidbits I noticed in each panel.

Panel 1.) Boy Lisa’s table seems positioned in the middle of the room, instead of up against a wall, and his overhead light seems to be behind his head AND pointed away from his workstation. He asks if the text is ‘more script changes’ which means that they regularly get TEXTS of script changes in a major motion picture sequel. Pete has a tiny phone.

Panel 2.) You know that this is California because of the medical marijuana growing right outside the window. Pete’s hands are the size of his head and the bags under his eyes have drifted so far down his cheek they might as well be Tony Montana scars. Pete’s phone has grown in size.

Panel 3.) Boy Lisa’s desk light is now in front of him. His face is a horrifying mask with terrible pencil eyebrows drawn all the way up on his forehead. He is apparently wearing a black v-neck t-shirt like a total tool. We can see that Pete’s now minuscule cell phone isn’t even a touchscreen smart phone, but rather some knockoff blackberry-lite. I link a picture of my phone, for reference. Sad, cheap, pathetic reference.