Tag: St. Spires

It’s Alright Church Lady, He’s Only Bleeding

Link To It

So biting himself until he draws blood is apparently how Dinkle reacts to new opportunities, which is a brand new character trait as far as I know. “Oh, yeah, Dinkle. He’s the guy who bites himself, right?”…nope, doesn’t ring a bell. I mean yeah, he bites all right, he bites big f*cking time, but until recently it was only metaphorically.

So obviously Dinkle will be “directing” the church choir, apparently WHILE he’s playing the organ, because Dinkle = music. Get ready for lots of hilarious scenarios, like making the church ladies sing in torrential downpours and forcing them to attend choir competitions chauffeured by the cranky old bus driver whose name escapes me at the moment. I think it’s “Dick Yank” or something along those lines.

No Choir Boy

Link To The One Today

Ugh, this certainly doesn’t bode well for the rest of the week. When did they suddenly begin talking about the choir? I thought this was about the organ. And there’s no joke here, other than how this happened to Dinkle before back in 1977 or whatever. And that ain’t funny.

Instead of a silly hat that always covers his eyes, I believe Act III Dinkle should wear a silly hat that obscures his entire body AND his word balloons too. He’d be way more palatable that way. He’d still suck, of course, but at least we wouldn’t keep seeing proof of it.

This arc should be more like the movie “Hustle And Flow”. Dinkle would sit down at the organ and start playing a hot riff, then the church ladies would jump in and lay down a tight beat and it’d end with Dinkle in jail for beating the hell out of Les after discovering that Les threw his sheet music in the WHS urinal after promising Dinkle he’d get it to his publisher. I’d buy that anthology AND stand in line to get it signed, too.

Sometimes Telling Is Preferable To Showing

Link To Today’s Strip

A: Eating pizza or having sex.

Q: What are the two things I’d least like to see the Dinkles doing?

Yuck. There’s some precedent here, as I seem to recall Dinkle making a lot of disgusting sexual innuendos during the infamous “Harry and Harriet go on their belated honeymoon” arc of whenever that was, maybe 2012 or thereabouts. It was their fiftieth anniversary and Dinkle blew off his own honeymoon for some imbecilic band thing, so they finally went to Niagara Falls and (zzzzzzzzz). I made it sound WAY more exciting than it was.

Coming next month: Wally’s new Dinkle-inspired marketing idea…sex pizza…doesn’t take off quite as well as breakfast pizza did back in the day. Wally finds himself embroiled in multiple lawsuits after Montoni’s customers badly burn themselves, but fortunately for Wally, Funky knows a guy.

Has Harry Ever Been Experienced? Well, Has He?

Link To The Thing

Now that you mention it I can’t recall ever seeing Dinkle actually playing a musical instrument. Surely he has and I’m just blotting it out for obvious reasons, but isn’t he really more of a conductor of sorts? Or am I just remembering his entire ten thousand year character arc all wrong?

Look how angry he is in panel two, as if these old biddies would know who the hell Harry Dinkle is. Where the hell did he learn how to play a big church organ anyhow? In the Army or something? It’s all so stupid and implausible. He couldn’t even create a backstory here, where we learn that Dinkle’s dad Hinkel used to play the organ at his old church and young Harry used to tag along or whatever. He’s just the “music guy” and BatHam’s go-to whenever “music” is somehow involved, like Les and smugness or Boy Lisa and blandness.

Total Organ Failure

Link To Today’s On Time Strip

No, she passed away while playing racquetball, you clod. This one is rather grim and depressing, even by FW standards. They just refuse to let that poor old dead organist rest. Oh well, at least her death resulted in a humorous anecdote for everyone else, so her hundred and twenty years on this planet were well worth it. Maybe next week the pastor will die during a funeral service, with hilarious consequences of course.

I get this reference, because G and C are music notes, right? Sigh. It’s not Batiuk’s worst gag ever, but still, the old lady dying sort of takes the edge off, for lack of a better term. In a FW context it’s nothing but to an outsider I suppose it’d seem rather dark, which is probably one reason why hardly anyone reads it.