Tag: Starbuck Jones

Court and Snark

Snifit
August 21, 2017 at 12:26 am
I like how Batiuk doesn’t bother actually showing where they are. The theater? Marriage License office? Swinger hotel? They’re here, guys. Just here.

“Here” turns out to be the courthouse, and there are so many questions. Are they picking up marriage licences, or are they going to be married by a judge, or maybe by Centerville’s mayor, Bill Clinton? Why then did the prospective grooms (separately!) reach out to Pete to find a minister?  Why all the secrecy about the wedding? And while it’s true that Starbuck Jones is what brought them together, does that somehow mandate that they must marry as soon as the movie comes out? Has the movie come out, and have we not been shown the gala Ohio premiere? What happened to the pink boutonniere that Cliff wore yesterday?

Carpet of Lies

I know we’ve all been wondering what’s become of Owen and Cody since they graduated Westview High: today we see that Owen’s traded his trademark chullo for the hated orange vest and the pals now work together delivering carpet for the Home Depot. A wacky mixup ensues when the boys realize they’ve delivered a white carpet instead of the customary red one!

If You Cedarville, Say Hello

If I were Hollywood producer Clay Wallace, I’d be leaning back with my feet on the desk too! When your director, leading man, screenwriter, storyboard artist, and their assorted hangers-on make brilliant decisions regarding casting, location shooting, publicity, and every other aspect of putting out a major motion picture, what’s left to do except kick back and enjoy things like palm trees outside and inside your office.

Holt Rides in a Volt

Whatever else new artist Rick Burchett brings to this strip, he knows how to draw a realistic, modern looking car. And he can draw the occupants seated comfortably inside, not pressed up against the windshield. Good job!

While the artwork’s (marginally) improved, the writing hasn’t changed. Phil Holt is such a comics legend that he’s instantly recognizable; quite a feat for anyone not named Stan Lee. Yet he bitterly dismisses his life’s work as “just junk.” “Now there was this young fella back in the day, walked in off the street…’Tom’ something, ‘Tom…Batty-yuck’. From Ohio. Showed me his portfolio. Great stuff, much better then my work. Told ‘im thanks but no thanks! Shit, he’d have had my job!”

Of course it’s up to Darin, the high school newspaper comics legend, to cheer up Mr. Holt, and it seems to work. Hopefully he’ll omit the part about the Comic-Con attendee who called Phil’s namesake “an old-fashioned piece of junk.”

Sneezy ‘n Dopey

Hard to believe, but today’s strip is the first in over a month (a MONTH!) to be built around a sneezing blond man. That Comic-Con arc (or “crud”, I’m gonna start using crud) makes it seem like years…

I’m not a doctor, but Durwood, sick with a contagious disease he picked up at Comic-Con, attending a birthday party thick with toddlers and their developing immune systems seems like a bad idea. I guess Jessica can’t take Skyler because she has another engagement… Ha ha ha! Sorry, I crack myself up sometimes.

Thanks for sticking with me for another two weeks of Funky Winkerbean being especially Funky Winkerbean-y. El Jefe himself, TFHackett, takes the helm tomorrow. May his tenure be devoid of Starbuck Jones and Les (it won’t be, almost assuredly, but it would impolite not to wish so).