Tag: Wally

Dull and Duller

Link to today’s strip.

So, after a few weeks of movie-making, doddering infernos, a visit to a sci-fi kingdom and a Lisa run, what does Tom Batiuk have in store for us now?

Rachel and Wally having a date night.  Which of course will take place at Montoni’s…where they both work.

Good grief.  I think I’d slit my wrists.

I guess married couples can still have “date nights” but I would think that would mean doing something different from what they always do.  I mean, they not only work there, they also live above Montoni’s.  They can probably eat all the pizza they want, until they stop wanting to eat pizza ever again.  (With Montoni’s pizza?  Couple of bites, tops.)  It’s Montoni’s, Montoni’s, Montoni’s practically all the time for them.

And this is “special” to Rachel?  Yikes.  The relationship these two have reminds me of a scene from “Sleepless in Seattle,” when Meg Ryan’s fiance says “I don’t want to be someone that you’re settling for. I don’t want to be someone that anyone settles for. Marriage is hard enough without bringing such low expectations into it, isn’t it?”

It sure looks like they “settled for” each other.

Of course, it’s entirely possible that Tom Batiuk has forgotten that Wally and Rachel are married, and this is just a regular date…since “continuity” for him is like garlic to a vampire.

Carry On Baggage.

Link to today’s strip

Wow, Les has really manned up in the last couple decades. He’s gone from passively handing his standing wife off at the door to another manlier man, to bridal carrying his wife’s avatar over the threshold at a brisk jog; effortlessly hauling all 110 lbs of Hollywood starlet in his arms with the wiry strength natural to a fifty year old English teacher.

Just kidding. This is the dumbest attempt at trying to make something look more dramatic I’ve seen in this strip. Unless Marianne fell down the stairs off panel, she should be perfectly capable of walking out the door. What is this strip trying to convey? The weakness of Marianne, or Les’ overprotective instincts? An excuse for an upskirt shot? We don’t know what the situation was like in the house, or how the women were reacting to it. Apparently the sight of fire turned them into whimpering passive objects unable to move or think without the firm touch of a man guiding them.

They must have lost the car Marianne drove in one of the THREE CARPORTS this McMansion is rocking.

Seriously, what happened to this car? Is it a self driving car? Did it drive itself away from this nonsense? Good for it.

Scrooge McSuck

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I don’t ever recall seeing the Montoni’s office before. The layout of this place, and the entire town really, just endlessly fascinates me. Was it always there or did Adeela include it during her big renovation? Ah, you forgot that she was Montoni’s official pizza architect, didn’t ya?

Anyhow, given that a) the cheese is a vital, vital part of pizza and b) at least a dozen people work there, one can only conclude that there was quite a lapse in the Montoni’s chain of command AND that Funky is as inept at managing as he appears to be at everything else. One can also conclude that right now Funky’s mozzarella dealer is anxiously pacing around his office, occasionally glancing through his window at the nine semi trailers full of cheese he’s sitting on right before the huge Westviewian Christmas pizza rush. That really is a sad, sad attempt at shoehorning the “holiday season” in there, I mean take that reference out and this thing could run in March or June or whenever, as failing to place a cheese order isn’t especially a seasonal premise.

The Telltale Moozadell

Link To Today’s Strip

Yup, the beloved “A Christmas Carol” mozzarella scene…a watershed moment in movie history all right. Sigh. Sometimes BatYam drops a strip so nonsensical and so unnecessary you have to wonder why he even bothers anymore and this is definitely one of those strips. “Funky forgets to order cheese”…yes, I suppose that premise was inevitable.

What are the odds that Adeela (!) is familiar with “A Christmas Carol”? Not to unfairly generalize here, but I have a sneaking feeling that Afghani TV probably isn’t showing that one all that often. Then again, what the hell do I know, eh? Anyhow, it’s good to see that architecture degree of hers finally paying off, as Funky’s office looks terrific AND functional.

Wally’s Not All That Blows

So . . . Lisa still lives, and her and Les have an adopted Hispanic son? The title will still be Lust for Lisa? That all was great? Literally the only thing wrong with it was that Les wrote the script? I know it’s an incredibly pointless question, but I really wonder if Batiuk even thinks about this stuff while he’s writing it, let alone going back and reviewing it once it’s done.