Today’s strip called for a post title so obligatory, TB himself would probably be disappointed if I didn’t use it. We can’t have that, can we?
As we learned back when Dirigibles Unnerving Ingrates Diversity University Ironton was trying to hire him to coach their football team, one of Bull’s few motivations in life is the prospect of free clothing. Bull was probably one of the first people to move to Chia Earth (17 internet points to all who get that reference).
Those of us who won’t have the opportunity to sit through Sarah Silverman and Jo Jo White’s presentation on how to incur obscene debt can still get our very own EMU t-shirts right here.
Also, daily Emu Emo Quote:
“I thought I was being followed by a paid assassin, but it turns out the guy’s a volunteer.”
– Emo Philips
Today’s strip see’s the return of TB’s latest shot at a running gag, places of higher education whose acronyms have other meanings. For those of you weren’t around for the second week of my first round of guest authoring back in November, we had a whole week of strips built around saying Diversity University Ironton’s name and acronym as much as possible. What a coincidence!
To TB’s credit, the acronym gag does distract significantly from the general discordance of this strip. If the presentation by the EMU reps is on Bull’s calendar, why are they introducing themselves and their purpose? Why does Bull exclaim “absolutely!” when he was not asked a question? Wait… Bull teaches classes? I had to read the strip 5 times before I started asking these questions.
Since “emu” is but a line closing the u away from “emo”, I leave you with a relevant and humorous quote (something about all this ought to be humorous):
“My name is Emo, as opposed to an Emu. Which, as you all know, is an Australian bird–a tall, ugly, skinny creature with a big beak. No similarity there.”
– Emo Philips
If there is a teacher at Westview High less competent than Les Moore, it’s Jim Kablichnick, the ostensible teacher of science, as today’s strip aptly demonstrates. And, argh! Is this the intro to the annual “school levy fails” arc? Have we had that yet this cycle (I can’t be arsed to check)? Let me tell you—I’m a dyed-in-the-wool liberal, but I’d vote against this band of nincompoops getting any more tax money!
“[T]he map” in Jim’s classroom “was so old,” he tells Linda, who fails to reply, “How old was it?”
“[T]he continents, which are major land masses surrounded by water, too large to be considered mere islands—the continents, I say—the continent of South America and the continent of Africa—those continents were still conjoined, united, and fitted together in some sort of ‘super’ continent, which would be a nice topic for a comic book,” Jim does not quite say, although Bantom cannot prevent himself from composing Jim’s speech in a loquacious manner, because—I don’t know—he’s never heard of The Elements of Style’s admonition to “omit needless words.” Also, Jim thinks his colleagues are ignoramuses who don’t know what South America and Africa are.
This might have been a mildly amusing joke if not for two flaws.
The punchline should have read like one of these
And the map was so old that Africa and South America were still joined together.
And the map was so old, it only showed Pangaea.
And the map was so old, it had “here be dragons” instead of Florida.
And the map was so old, it had Amerigo Vespucci’s autograph.
This image of a smartphone in Les’s delicate hands, from yesterday’s strip: If only there were some way to see up-to-date maps in 2015! If only!
Strips like this drive me to drink, and for that, and that only, thank you, Tom Batiuk!
Here endeth my current stint as your guest snarker. Many thanks to TFH! The gloriously acid-tongued Epicus Doomus takes over tomorrow.
First “Bullying Played for Laffs” strip of the new year! How miserable is life for Cody and Owen, within and without the walls of Westview High School? It’s so bad that the mere approach of three dudes in WHS varsity jackets instantly induces panic in the (Senior!) boys. In panel 2 it’s revealed that the three are not bully jocks but baritones, who, unlike Cody and Owen, are secure enough in their manliness to proudly display their affiliation to the WHS music program.
So, here’s Tom Batiuk’s actual “Black Friday” joke…if “joke” is the right word. Selling books instead of turkeys is hilarious? In both cases, the terrible odor from the unsold items would be intolerable as they fester.
Note that with a little change of tense (“didn’t have” for “don’t have”) he could have run this on Saturday and had something a little more traditionally holidelic on Thanksgiving, but when you’re giving Harry Dinkle a soapbox, well…priorities, baby, priorities. Thanksgiving Day comes and Thanksgiving Day goes, but Harry Dinkle is interminable.
Whenever Harry Dinkle appears, you can be sure the boredom will come thick and fast. He basically short-circuits his own content by being so utterly obnoxious that he’s his own heckler. If you ask him what time it is he’ll give you some insufferable response that boils down to “find a clock somewhere after I finish regaling you with irrelevance.” Actually, the only question I can imagine asking Harry Dinkle is, “Do you want me to punch you again?”
What’s really striking in today’s episode is Becky’s left ear. Look at that thing–has her face been torn open at the back? (We can always hope so!) I cannot imagine how, with her face positioned the way it is, that her left ear should be visible at all. Once again, I am guessing that Tom Batiuk had a bit of gold ink on the brush and didn’t want to waste it, and that meant drawing an ear to hold that earring.
In a strip drawn as badly and as lazily as this one, Tom Batiuk at least manages to draw his avatars–Les Moore, John Howard and of course Harry Dinkle–with a loving consistency. The other characters not so much, but this…this is kind of a landmark.
Son of Stuck Funky 