Spring Bored

Link To Today’s Installment

Mort has really exceptional hearing too, as he apparently overheard every morsel of Mindy’s tiresome maudlin babbling. The fact that he’s in a band makes his excellent hearing that much more remarkable. I wonder if Fred Fairgood ever stares from his window forlornly and wishes he was stricken with the fun, zany kind of debilitating illness Morty got instead of the shitty one he ended up with.  I’d say it’s a near certainty.

Anyhow blah blah blah, multiple days of characters talking about using the internet…let the wry times roll, eh? They’re gonna buy this rare old catalog, give it to Crankshaft…and then what? Does he die happy (ha)? Does he drool all over it? Given how decrepit Act III FW Ed is, I don’t see many other possibilities there. No one can romanticize old junk quite like BatSnore can. Shitty old comics, decoder rings, VHS tapes, old catalogs, I bet his garage is a real mess.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

13 responses to “Spring Bored

  1. spacemanspiff85

    Best case scenario for this is Ed grumbling “Gardening?! Who the hell cares about gardening?! I never did!” and Mort and Connie smirk wryly at each other, amused by Ed’s senility.

  2. The Nelson Puppet

    “I bet his garage is a real mess.”

    The DC, Marvel, and Harvey rejection letters alone could paper the walls!

    • Epicus Doomus

      Cases of unsold books, old cereal box giveaway toys, hundreds of plaques from local fraternal lodges and local band directors, an entire wall of unsold Summer Moore mugs and pile after pile of comic books.

      But that Lisa shelf is as neat as a pin, you betcha. Carefully dusted every morning, noon and night, nothing out of place. Guaranteed.

    • billytheskink

      Harvey rejection letters? Ouch!

  3. spacemanspiff85

    Knowing Batiuk though, the most probable scenario is that seeing the catalogs causes Crankshaft to stand up and smile for the first time in decades, and then mumble into Cindy’s ear about how he’s really dying to read Starbuck Jones. Pete uses his “industry connections” to buy the complete run for Crankshaft, and he miraculously de-ages to the state he’s in his strip, and joins Atomik Comics.

  4. billytheskink

    Do Iomega enthusiasts scour eBay for old MacMall catalogs that have Zip, Jaz, and Ditto drives for sale in them? Because that’s what this is like. Actually, that is more interesting than this… and I say that as a Syquest guy.

  5. Again, only Les, Blessed Be His Worship Of Saint Dead Lisa, is allowed to be a tedious smart-ass unopposed.

  6. No chance that Mort is going to get the catalog, roll it up into a tube and try to jam it down Ed’s throat like the android in Alien.

    • comicbookharriet

      If I had thousand dollars I would commission an artist to draw that in loving detail.

  7. bobanero

    So this is a guy who, for the entirety of the post-time jump, has been portrayed as pretty much a vegetable sitting in his wheelchair in his room. He has never said a word, or even moved. Mindy is apparently the only person who ever comes to see him, and even then she talks about him in the third person as if he’s not there. In his own strip, he was a total dick to everyone he knew, even his best friends and close family. He reveled in doing his job poorly, endangering children and parents daily. Why on earth would anyone want to spend one red cent to buy some relic to make him happy? Seriously, if I were standing in front of Bedside Manor and a 1952 Bean’s End catalog fell at my feet, I wouldn’t expend the effort to bend down and pick it up to hand it to him.

    • comicbookharriet

      Cranky did mumble some aaaadowable! malaprop the last time Mindy and Pete visited. So he’s not completely non-verbal. I’m guessing he chooses not to speak 98% of the time because talking to people in the Funkyverse is an utterly unrewarding activity.

  8. Rusty Shackleford

    Kesterman has the 1952 edition, and he’s gonna ram it up Cranky’s dark side. The street value of said edition will drop, but emotional value of getting back at Cranky increases ten fold.