The Price Is Wrong

Link To Today’s Strip

Unfunny premise + unfunny characters = unfunny gags. Connie wryly equates Morty’s sudden burst of altruism with a prescription drug mix-up, which strongly indicates she’s a born ‘n bred Westviewian too. The wryness of her delivery is a dead giveaway, like how New Jerseyans use “f*ck” as a noun, verb and adjective, often in the same sentence, typically while driving.

Now I don’t know whether Morty’s insurance covers it or if Funky’s footing the bill for it or what, but this Bedside Manor seems like a DELIGHTFUL place, all brimming with vitality, life, wisecracks and zany wholesome schemes courtesy of some of the most adorable old coots you’ve ever seen. It makes even regular Westview look like even more of a dump in comparison and it’s gotta be costing someone somewhere a pretty penny to keep housing the totally recovered Mort and his sidekick Connie there when there’s quite clearly nothing wrong with them at all. These are the things you find yourself wondering about when that day’s FW characters are talking about ordering an old catalog from the internet. Sigh.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

18 responses to “The Price Is Wrong

  1. Jimmy

    Has it really been established yet why we should care about the cranky dude? I’ve read that other strip a few times, but I couldn’t care one lick about this old coot.

  2. God this strip is SO BORING. Reading it is like being asked to cross some horrific desert, only to be told at the finish line, “You gotta go back and do it again. Crankshaft.”

    Also, what’s the story behind FW never using Shankcraft’s name? There has to be something (sigh)…interesting there.

    I suspect the reality is something far more dull, that Tom Batiuk is thinking “If I just tease out the guy’s name, readers will search the web and thus flock to my other strip and be enthralled!”

    And if “be enthralled” is a euphemism for “vomiting” he’s right!

    • spacemanspiff85

      Being such a comics obsessive he probably considers “that cranky guy” to be a fantastic Easter egg, like somewhere there are legions of fans shouting “Oh ho ho! I bet that cranky guy is Crankshaft!”.
      There are not. It’s just lame and annoying, and doesn’t deserve to be called writing.

      • Charles

        My feeling is that if he actually mentions Crankshaft as if he’s actually a character in Funky Winkerbean, it’ll just become too obvious how crass the whole thing is. This way he can pretend that he doesn’t devote two strips to these same stupid characters.

    • Gerard Plourde

      Maybe there’s the legend of a curse associated with uttering his name like the one associated with “The Scottish Play”.

  3. billytheskink

    Mort took the wrong meds and will die in his sleep…

    Oh, sorry, that’s more of a maudlin Act II thing. And, sadly, more interesting than this. I can’t believe I’m saying that, but… I am. Wow.

  4. Why, that ol’ codger oughta have his own comic strip! Call it…

  5. Here we are, right where I expected to be: Batiuk’s mother issues turning a female character into a shrew who can’t know what’s valuable because she has a uterus questioning the collector of ‘cool’ stuff’s intellect and common sense.

  6. Charles

    So a retired man on a fixed income who’s in an assisted living facility doesn’t think anything of blowing a substantial amount of money on an old catalog for a guy whose name he doesn’t know. He just overheard a conversation as he was walking down the hall and now he’s going to be out whatever it takes to run Atomik Komix for a month.

    If I were Connie, I’d refuse to go through with it just because I wouldn’t want to bear any responsibility when Mort’s shit hits the fan and people are wondering where all his money went. Besides, if Mort had so little capacity that his own son constantly asks him if he knows who he is, and Mort consistently fails that test, wouldn’t someone have already taken Mort’s ability to make large financial decisions from him? I mean, hell, Funky made the decision to put Mort in the facility in the first place several years ago. Why would any of these old baggy pantloads have access to a dangerous website like “Fleabay” (Jesus Christ) in the first place?

    Also, wouldn’t it be better if Mort was, I don’t know, Crankshaft’s friend who was going to play checkers with him and discovered Mindy there “visiting” in order to justify what he’s now doing? How hard would that have been?

    And one last point, I see Mort is taking clothing tips from Holly and is now wearing her black cardigan over a lavender shirt combination.

  7. Chyron HR

    “I figured I’d do something nice for that cranky guy out of professional courtesy. You know, as one comic strip star to another.”
    “Mort, you’re not the star of the strip.”
    “Sure I am, just look at the headline: Mort Winkerbean.”

  8. comicbookharriet

    Forget meds… they got Funky and Cranky’s brains mixed up.

  9. DOlz

    Off Topic (sort of)

    He could have added a still living cartoonist to his list.

  10. Professor Fate

    I know it It won’t be explained but dear lord how can anybody have a ‘favorite’ catalogue?