Bad wordplay reigns supreme today (shocking, I know) as Fitness Girl continues to feed the Funk Man more straight lines, a trend I assume (sigh) will continue for at least the rest of the week. If we’re lucky. I likewise assume it’s only a matter of time before Batiuk draws a “correlation” between “curls” and “curly fries” (he can have that gag free of charge, BTW). I keep sort of hoping that Funky and Fitness Girl wind up running off together and Montoni’s goes under after Wally refuses to come out from under the back booth but I dunno, it seems like a longshot. Although he could (and has) do a lot worse. I’d really like to know a lot more about FG…who’s she married to, what kind of pizzeria and/or comic book store does he (or she, as the case may be) own and operate, how did his (or her) first wife die…you know, the FW basics. Although that’s probably asking a lot from a guy who hasn’t yet fleshed out characters he’s been using for forty-plus years.
Author: Epicus Doomus
Dummmmm…Dummmmmmm
It’s almost hard to believe that the same guy responsible for last week’s atrocious jokes was also responsible for this terrible-yet-not-quite-as-bad gag, isn’t it? Apparently our old friend Fitness Girl isn’t just a trainer but some sort of all-purpose Fitness Guru. I honestly don’t care either way, as I’m still basking in the post-Adeela era, like someone who’s crawling out of a bomb shelter on a dismal drizzly day and is just thrilled to have survived at all. And besides, seeing Funky in physical pain is oddly satisfying, like when you look at the cricket you just whomped with your shoe. It’d be WAY more satisfying if it were Les but I suppose you can’t have everything.
Breaking Fat
First of all, let’s all take a moment to salute everyone on the SoSF staff, especially those who endured that SEVEN WEEK Wally fiasco. May we never speak of or have to type “Adeela” again.
Yep, we all needed a break after THAT debacle. Normally a “Funky goes to the gym” arc would have me reaching for the cyanide gun but right now it’s like the first really nice day of spring, all full of hope and invigorating. That will wear off by tomorrow, mind you, but still. This is FW and you take your pleasures where you find them. So the eternally fat Funky is at the gym with Fitness Girl, complaining about something and etc. No tornado sirens, no PTSD, no stilted dialog…by God it’s almost downright PLEASANT. It’s all relative, as they say. Sure, it’s ridiculous how he keeps working with a trainer he hates and how he never loses any weight but who cares, anything is a welcome change after seven weeks of Wally’s nonsense.
Sunday October 14
Coming tomorrow: the triumphant return of billytheskink!
Sunday’s strip is, as usual, unavailable for preview. What will it be? Another comic book cover? “Wallace McHero and Budrick the Space Dog”. A continuation of whatever this Wally nonsense is about? Something totally unrelated? Sundays are always a crap shoot (emphasis on crap), anything can happen (so to speak) and it’s as unpredictable as a line of Keisha dialog. My guess? I’m running with the theory that this “Adeela” character is Wally’s Afghani girlfriend who lost an arm when Wally got hammered at the annual enlisted man’s ball and crashed his Jeep, then she dumped him for a Pakistani comic book virgin dude after believing he was dead. But the joke’s on HER because he WASN’T!
And that’s it for me for now, I’ll be back right around when the last leaf falls and the blizzards begin, or “November” as it’s known in the Funkyverse.
Issues Of Futures Passed
Poor, poor Wally. At long last everything appears to finally be going his way. He’s about to graduate with a coveted six year degree in pizzeria management, he’s once again able to freely mingle and fraternize with co-eds and his uncle is about to bestow upon him the highest honor a Westviewian can achieve. So naturally the Great Pulitzer Nominee is setting him up for yet another brutal gut-punch, another cruel setback, another trigger that will send his PTSD into overdrive and destroy the happiness he’s painstakingly built for himself over the last several years.
Apparently “Adeela” is some sort of new character hailing from the war-ravaged Middle East, a character who just happens to be enrolling at Westview Community College just as Wally reaches the apex of his long and painful recovery. And if I know my FW, this Adeela will probably be a one-armed radioactive comic book fanatic who stepped on a “bouncing Betty” on the way to the chemo ward after gaining a lot of weight. Lord only knows where this might be going but if Wally’s involved it’s a safe bet that it’s nowhere good.