Epicus Doomus

What’s So Funny ‘Bout Pizza, Love And Understanding?

“In a world of hurt”???? Sorry, officer, he was already like that when he arrived at the BMV. “I have to get back there”…yeah, wouldn’t want to miss that huge dinner rush or anything and it’s doubtful that the “staff” (aka half the town) could handle it without the fat, shiftless, stupid Funky on the premises.

“Your pizzas are my favorite”….favorite what? Pizza? Rat-killing method? Fertilizer? The list is endless. As is this arc, which apparently will just go on and on and on until literally everyone stops reading FW thereby fulfilling BanTom’s fondest wish…complete and total anonymity.

And you know, in spite of Funky’s incessant whining, this fictional Ohio BVM is actually quite an efficient operation. Funky lets his DL lapse for a year, shows up with all the wrong documents and somehow manages to re-take the road test all within a few hours. In NJ that would take seven separate visits and a minimum of several months, at a minimum. So really it just makes his endless griping seem all the more petty, obnoxious and stupid.

Long Term Failing

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A funnier premise would have been to simply have Funky get nabbed parking in a handicapped spot, then pouring forth his litany of woe to the cop who eventually (weepingly) agrees that yeah, Funky Winkerbean is definitely “handicapped” all right. It’s a pretty ham-fisted gag that will probably annoy way more people than it amuses, unless it’s taped to the door at traffic court or something, as nothing spells out “I’m a real dick” better than blithely parking in a handicapped space. Maybe tomorrow he could operate heavy machinery while taking prescription drugs or block the intersection at every red light.

Normally Les is the “total jerk-off” character, Funky was always more of an affable-yet-eternally downtrodden sad-sack. Suddenly though, we’re seeing a pissier side of the Funk-Man, going back to Bull’s retirement game where Funky sat in the crowd disinterestedly cracking wise about WHS’ beloved brain-damaged football coach. And I don’t like it one bit, either.

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Scoffunk Lawlessbean

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Wow. Not only is Funky an imbecilic lard-ass who let his DL expire and tried to renew it with unacceptable copies of official documents, he’s also a scofflaw who brazenly parks his creepy eastern European surplus car in handicapped spots! Sorry there Mr. BanMan, but parking in a handicapped spot isn’t “one of those daffy things” that sometimes happens thanks to the vagaries of The Universe, it’s the callous act of an inconsiderate nitwit. It’s interesting how he couldn’t just let this arc be about the normal hassles one faces at the DMV, he had to make sure his personal whipping boy is as obnoxious and stupid as possible. Maybe tomorrow he’ll run over a box of puppies during the road test, wouldn’t THAT be HILARIOUS????

If You Only Re-Knew

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I have to assume that Rachel’s hands are so calloused from years of pizza-slinging that she has no need for oven mitts. Anyhow, the Funk-Man is angrily waiting to re-take his driver’s exam, sitting and sulking as “those kids today” entertain themselves with their phone gizmos they’re all so fond of these days. Based on the way he’s carrying on you’d think he was the victim here and not merely an idiot who failed to renew his driver’s license for an entire year. The funniest thing about this one is how he has the exact same look on his face that I did upon seeing that TB was doing ANOTHER week of this.

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Dotting The “I”s, Crossing The (zzzzzz)s

Link To Today’s Strip

Good GOD man, this is STILL going on, just lumbering along like TB at a small town Comic Con “Silver Age” round-table discussion. F*cking PONDEROUS, man. As was speculated, Funky the loser has to re-take the driver’s test, which knowing what I know about FW, should go really, really well. I mean we all know how BanTom can wring any premise bone dry but geez, this is unbearable. Why is it that every other premise gets broken up into one or two week installments that take YEARS to play out but THIS one runs for months at a time? Sigh.