spacemanspiff85

Monday, July 15

Thanks for having me back. I’m always nervous that I’m going to get stuck with weeks of Dinkle typing in silence when it’s my turn here, so I guess this is better.

I’ve got two issues with today’s strip. I would really, really like to know why Hammett thought Brinkle was covering up for someone else. It’s basically the core of this whole lame “mystery”. Somehow a jury found enough evidence to convict him, but Hammett found evidence that he didn’t do it? Gosh, that sounds almost interesting.

It’s also very funny to me how this never came up once in the documentary Cindy already did on Cliff. It’s like if you did a documentary on some random old football player, and then a year later he just casually mentioned how he had proof that O.J. Simpson was guilty and never mentioned it before.

Funny Winter Bees Sounds Like a Hilarious Comic

So I can’t really tell what’s going on here. It seems like an attempted retcon, since Funky’s talking about all the stuff they used to pretend the computer would do, which high schoolers pretending this kind of stuff about a computer seems weird. But then you just have Funky mentioning the computer making claims about his existence. So was it sentient, or not? If it ever was then it’s basically a slave, which is troubling.
If Holtron was a sentient computer in the seventies, how is reprogramming it to respond to voice commands any kind of improvement. I can picture Batiuk asking his wife “Wouldn’t it be funny if Holtron was an Echo?”, his wife responding “Who or what is Holtron?” and him calling her a macaque and storming off to the garage.
What is Harry expecting to happen? You can’t really ask Echo or Siri to find a living person for you. The best part about this strip is that you could’ve changed the last panel so it heard him perfectly clear, and it would work even better.
“There’s nothing on the web about Funky Winkerbean.” Basically true.

Um, is Atomik Komix publishing a comic book about Funky? That seems insane for a lot of reasons. And really like something that should’ve come up in the strip. But it’s just Batiuk pushing his own products again, so whatever.

Coming up tomorrow-Billytheskink!

Wow, Stan Lee Dropped By

Today’s strip wasn’t available for preview, so I’m just guessing that involves a now very awkward appearance Stan Lee dropping by Atomik Komix and promising to do a signing at Komix Korner.

Does anyone doubt that the entire purpose of this week was this “gag” right here? “Haha, I can have a crane company named after someone named Crane! It’d be hilarious. Hmm . . . what’s a plausible reason why someone in this strip would need a crane . . . I guess I could have Funky lifted out of his house because he’s so fat. But no, I’ll save that for the finale . . . I’ve got it! Comic books! Someone could need to lift something heavy into the comic book store!”

If someone sent Batiuk a copy of “The Mammoth Book of Corny, Slightly Punny Names” I have a strong feeling he’d use it as material for the rest of his strip. Stuff like this is what would be a background Easter egg in a Pixar movie that most people wouldn’t even notice. But Batiuk tends to put it front and center and repeat it over and over. “Get it?! It’s funny!” What are the odds we’re going to see “Buster’s Crabs” at least once the next time there’s a Hollywood arc? And Crankshaft is doing a bowling story so I’m pretty sure we’ll be seeing “Margo Lanes” over and over. I also look forward to the next couple of weeks, when they hire the “Frasier Crane Co.” to remove Holtron from the Komix Korner and the “Niles Crane Co.” to put it back in Atomik Komix (how did they not have any issues getting it down the multiple flights of stairs in that building?).

Cry For Help

So Flash just randomly dropped by the same time John had decided to randomly drop by. Okay then. Plotting is difficult, apparently. It always amuses me how Batiuk just obviously thinks people know who this random minor characters are and that everybody just immediately recognizes them and is thrilled to see them back. I barely remembered who Flash even was and I have to be in the top 1% of people who give a crap about this strip. I like how Darin is just inviting people to make appearances at John’s store.
It’s fun how the artist made sure to get John’s creepy spiky gray hair and Pete’s eye bags just right, but barely drew a face on Mindy. I’m not even sure if what she has there technically counts as a nose.
This strip is more fun if you imagine Flash’s words as a little Easter egg expressing Batiuk’s desire to be done with all this. It’s totally not necessary though, I mean, the entire strip gives off that vibe.

Quasi Fake Humor

“. . . it’s worth more now as a quasi fake computer than it was a real computer”.

This has to take the prize as most awkward, crappy sentence in the history of Funky Winkerbean, if not comic strips as a whole. I mean, wow. There’s a word just obviously missing “as a real computer”, for starters, showcasing the lack of crap-giving on the author’s part and the fact that nobody else reads these strips before they’re printed. Then there’s just the fact that so many words mean literally nothing. It’s now a “quasi fake” computer? What does “quasi fake” even mean? It’s either fake or not. It’s like saying Lisa was “quasi dead”. If anything it’s more of a real computer now, since before it was blatantly cartoony, making wisecracks, and now it’s just an Alexa/Siri knockoff. Take a bow, Tom Batiuk, this has to be your peak.
Oh, and Chester apparently has something worth two-million dollars sitting around the abandoned old building where Pete and Darin work all day. And somehow a piece of junk from a movie a year ago is now worth millions of dollars.