Adeela – Page 7 – Son of Stuck Funky

Deep (Dish) Cover

“Adeela exited Montoni’s carrying a pizza for delivery. She walked through Montoni’s front door toward the delivery car. The car had a Montoni’s decal on the door. Adeela opened the door and placed the pizza inside the delivery car. The ICE agent watched from the shadows. He used his phone to alert the other agent about Adeela’s departure.”

Right there, that explains the lack of Pulitzers. Once again BatNard has written a story that consists entirely of plot holes. Oh, and padding…a shit-ton of padding. They can’t just go and arrest Adeela, they have to go through a whole logic and continuity-defying process first, for no other reason than to make the goddamned story longer. Remember, this is Adeela’s very first delivery, thus the ICE agent either a) got really lucky, b) bugged Montoni’s or c) has a mole on the inside. Maybe Rocky finked Adeela out in an attempt to get more screen time.

Snappy Answers To Pizza Questions

Link To The Thing

“No, it’s what’s left of my dignity. I’m taking it out to the dumpster.”

“No, obviously they’re comic books, YOU CLOD!”

“No, it’s an IED. Now excuse me, I have to get to the post office.”

It’s impossible not to laugh at panel one, as it’s SUCH an imbecilic question. They work in a pizzeria, Cory is holding a pizza delivery bag and he’s walking toward the exit. What the f*ck else would it be? Something tells me that Adeela might not be pizzeria manager material.

“Use my driver’s license”…hmmm, I never really thought about it like that before. And who the f*ck is their “driver”? You mean there’s ANOTHER as-yet-unknown Montoni’s employee out there? How is that even possible? And they work together, why wouldn’t they call this “driver” by his or her name? Who speaks like this? Am I to believe this situation NEVER arose before now? How is THAT even possible?

It’s OK It’s Not Loaded I’m A Good Driver Don’t Worry Wally

Link To Today’s Installment

What could go wrong…INDEED! Boy, this Pulitzer Nominee Guy just can’t tell a linear story no matter what. We already know something is definitely going to go wrong, but now instead of actually seeing it happen we’ll get day after day of moronic pizza banter and Crankshaft references. Then the Saturday cliffhanger, then repeat…and repeat…and repeat. Why can’t the goddamned thing go wrong on Monday, just once? Sigh. Does anyone know what day of the week Lisa actually died? Had to be a Friday, right? Or did he drag that out through the Sunday strip too?

Here Comes The Flood

Link to today’s strip.

Normally, a Funky Winkerbean reader would see today’s episode as one of those typical Sunday “filler” strips that has nothing to do with anything, but is just supposed to be lighthearted and fun.

But Tom Batiuk can’t resist tipping his heavy hand when he’s about to get serious. I guess it’s his way of saying “Polish off those awards, boys, the Batiuk shelf is ready for ’em!”

So we see Adeela all happy and carefree, just before the mean ol’ USA comes crashing down on her, for no reason at all (I’m guessing; there could be a reason that will turn out to be incredibly stupid). Maybe she has a brother who’s bombed here and there, and she’s guilty by association. Or it might be something we’ve never guessed (because it has never been shown.) As I mentioned yesterday, whatever it is will be so inaccurate and poorly thought-out that it should win awards–just not the good kind. The point is that Batiuk will make her life living hell, for no other reason than that’s the only kind of life available in this strip…and, for that, he should win an award. A good award, too. He thinks.

Seems odd that we had to go through nine years two weeks of talking about driver’s licenses to get here, but there you go in Batiukland.

And that’s all from me for now. Thank you for your indulgence; I appreciate your comments and your insights, and I also appreciate those who read but do not comment. And now, please welcome back reigning champion Epicus Doomus, who returns tomorrow.

Let’s have Peter Gabriel sing us out of here…

ICE ICE Baby

Link to today’s strip.

And just like that, the question I asked about Thursday’s strip has been answered in the worst possible way.

Folks, prepare yourself for another heavy-handed, preachy, insultingly inaccurate trip through Tom Batiuk’s Outrage-a-Thon. Sorry, tickets are non-refundable.

“Boss! BOSS! I think we found that woman on the hot list–the one who was looking at fabric on sale! *Shudder* I get chills just thinking about that! Anyway, lucky for us she applied for a driver’s license using her real name, address, and everything! Otherwise we’d never catch someone so wily!”