So good to know that both Centerville twins are alive and well, after a rare solo appearance of Emily or Amelia in Tuesday’s comic. Over in the Crankiverse, these two are still interchangeable, not-too-bright tween girls. But by the time they transferred to Westview High, they had developed distinct persona: Emily, the goody-goody flautist, and Amelia, the shredder of guitars.
Tag: Amelia
Fielding a Compliment
ICYMI: So yesterday Logan was summoned to the office, only to return today to The Bleat’s studio with the rest of her peers (the “freshmen” we met in 2016 and hence should have graduated last June), and they’re all just back from a field trip? Th’ hell? Is this happening like five minutes later, or have days passed? Les is still wearing the yellow shirt, but that’s not a clue, since he wears a yellow shirt at least 85% of the time. Logan’s wearing a jacket that she didn’t have on yesterday, but then again, yesterday her top went from a crew neck to a turtleneck in the space of one panel. And today she wears the same color top but now it’s a v-neck. Logan: “Yeah, I almost would rather have been here!” Girl, you were here! Maybe that’s not Logan Church, but rather her heretofore unseen identical twin? Les, of course, is unaffected by any of this, as long as he can take as a “compliment” that being in his class is almost–almost–preferable to some shitty, five minute field trip to the principal’s office.
Meeting the Four Hundred
Les just continues to mock Batton in today’s strip. Sheesh, whadda jerk! Apparently newspaper cartoonists were the original social distancing champions, which you probably would be seeing memes about if you were Facebook friends with one. Unfortunately, gags this terrible are not a rare sight in Funky Winkerbean…
Emily or, uh Amelia… whichever one wears pink and doesn’t act like what TB imagines a Hot Topic shopper to be, asks a perfectly reasonable question for a “kids these days” kid. Seriously, it is a good question and it demonstrates a knowledge of what a comic strip is, how it is distributed, and its primary measure of success. Batton, of course spins this perfectly fine question into a self-pitying humblebrag so deftly that even Les seems impressed. Newspapers may be dying, but his comic strip is in EVERY SINGLE ONE of the ones that remain! What’re you gonna accomplish in your life, Blondie?
TB does it, why not you, Batton?
Kidz these daze and their cellular doohickeys! Always on ’em. Amirite? Amirite? Eh? Today’s strip knows what I’m talking’ about! Leave ’em alone in a classroom with no direction and they just start tap-tap-tapping away on their smartyphones. It’s nothing like it wuz back in my day when we’d get in fistfights and beat lunch money out of the weird kids.
By the way, Les’ opinion on the value of comics sure has changed over the years…
Early Dawning, Sunday Morning
Link to today’s strip (eventually).
Sunday’s strip was not available for preview…and boy, writing that makes me feel like a Tom Batiuk character, saying the same thing over and over and expecting it to be funny…eventually! As Fearless Leader noted yesterday, I think I’ve had the most “strip not available” entries of all time (a situation which forces me to pull things from my spinnerets to post, and thank you all for indulging me thus). Still…the most something–it’s an award! I am Number One!
But the situation makes me scared that I ticked off some Elder God, and as punishment I’m going to show up as a character in the strip. Can you imagine a more horrible fate? I bet if you proposed this to Dante, he’d have turned pale and said, “Whoah, dude, I only imagined nine levels of Hell. You’re like, ill or something.”
But fate is what it is. Still, I promise if that happens, I’m going to go right up to Les and ask him, “Do you read Sutter Cane?”
As for the Sunday strip, I imagine we’re going to see the Bleat crew wrap up their “podcast” and “newsprint” coverage of the fair, using more video footage of various fair goings-on. After all, the Dark Twin promised “the dark side” of the fair, which–oh, who am I kidding? That part of the story was forgotten as soon as Tom Batiuk pulled it out of his spinnerets. Thinking things through takes time away from reading Flash comics.
Speaking of comics, tonight ends my session in the agony booth; tomorrow, the lovely, talented and very well informed Comic Book Harriet takes the center seat. Please join me in wishing her luck as the long-threatened “Funky-Crankshaft” crossover feature commences. As for me, I…well, I await the Yellow Sign.
Son of Stuck Funky 
