Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Link to today’s strip.

Yeah, I know, Frankie’s been there for several weeks, but how could I resist that title?

There’s a marked difference in tone when Tom Batiuk loves a character (Les), hates a character (Bull et al) and when he doesn’t give a damn about a character (a lot of them).

Mason seems to fall into this third category; once Batiuk got the pun through, he really seemed to lose interest in Mason.  Oh sure, he’s a nice guy, well off, generous to a fault (or a Darrin), a bit dim, very good at calming Cindy’s many fears…other than that, he’s a paper towel.  He’s there to get the job done and that’s it.

Cindy seems to be somewhere in the half-world between hatred and indifference.  On the one hand, she’s a mass of neuroses which need constant tending; she’s rude to every female she meets; and she gave up on Funky.  On the other, she’s been given a guy who goes out of his way to help her feel good about herself.   The only other person who has had such a devoted mate was…Les Moore.  It may be that now she’s “old” and feels terrible about her condition, she’ll be allowed some relief.

Though I would have said that about Bull up until last week.  He was actively trying to cut down on bullying in the school, wanting to atone for what he’d done as a student.  And then he got handed his ass.  That still seems like the cruelest blow ever struck by this strip (though BillyTheSkink’s rundown of Coach Stropp’s last days seems definitely worse).

I guess in Tom Batiuk’s mind, Bull was turning out to be an “okay” person, a candidate for possible redemption, until Tom Batiuk happened to thumb through one of the high school yearbooks that he keeps close at hand, and noted that the guy who bullied him in school was named “Jerome,” and then something snapped.

And now, taking up the entire stage right, we have Frankie.  This is not my favorite drawing of Frankie.  This–

–is my favorite drawing of Frankie.  Look at that openly happy and joyous expression!  There’s a man about to explode with happiness–or a man surgically altered for transfer to the “Popeye” comic strip.  He’s also hiding a turkey baster in his shirt, which shows preparedness!  Unless that’s Kuato waking up.

Despite his status as a villain, Frankie is another character that Tom Batiuk seems to have no idea what to do with.  (Sorry about the grammar, there.) It’s clear that Batiuk wants a villain (not recognizing that Les Moore fits that role to a T), but it’s also clear that he doesn’t want a real villain–someone that could only be defeated through cleverness and *cough* work.  Hence, Frankie is always portrayed as somewhat hapless and unprepared, and his schemes (such as they are) are so blatantly stupid that even a half-wit like Darrin doesn’t fall for them.   With a spot of cleverness, Frankie’s schemes could probably work; all he needs to do is disguise his intent somewhat and the Westview morons would fall into line.  Unfortunately, that “spot of cleverness” will always be lacking.  Because there can only be one “smart” person in the comic strip.  And anything that takes away from Les Moore’s lustre is not to be permitted.

So…any guesses as to the form his latest scheme will take?  A headline like “Elder Stars of ‘Starbuck Jones’ in Torrid Affair!” seems likely.  Of course, “Elder Stars of ‘Starbuck Jones’ Enjoy Ice Cream!” is also a good guess.  Remember, this is Frankie we’re dealing with.

Winters Is Nigh

Unlike Mason, I was totally expecting Cindy in today’s strip. I did not expect her to be on her third tank top this week, so that’s something.

Cindy’s tepid response to Mason in the second panel is obviously driven by her insecurity, which is especially heightened when the subject of Smokey The Bear’s greatest nemesis, Marianne Winters, is brought up. That’s been the theme all week and it sure ain’t changing now. She, however, does have a worthwhile reason to be irritated with Mason here.

Cindy is on set to shoot for this Cliff Anger documentary that buddyblog’s young, hepcat managers inexplicably think is relevant to its audience of online news consumers and Mason, after hearing this, follows that by claiming that this is a good day for her to be on set… because he’s shooting his first scenes with Marianne Winters today. What?

Why is it a good day for Cindy to be shooting her Cliff Anger documentary on set? Is Cliff even on set today? Has his “small role” even been written yet? If these are Cliff’s “first scenes” with Marianne Winters then why did Mason talk about them sharing the car explosion scenes shot months ago in Cleveland?

Bipolar or not, that’s worth a Rex Morgan pissyface.

Double Shot of My Batty’s Love

I suppose we can’t blame Tom Batiuk for taking Fathers Day off and yielding the floor to a “real” comic artist. But we’re left with so many unanswered questions.

Mason Jarr casually  informs Cliff, on-set and in costume, that they are concurrently “shooting” Starbuck Jones and its sequel? Did Cliff not read and sign a contract? Or is he so delighted to have been rescued from obscurity that anything is fine with him? “I can’t believe they’re shooting two at once!” This from a man who became (obstensibly) famous as an actor in serial films. Do you suppose these were shot episode by episode, totally in sequence?

Let’s move on to the content that’s not drawn by Batiuk: a fucking Western? Because “shooting two at once”? Maybe this one of Batty’s obscure, beloved old comic covers that he tries to to bend the narrative in order to make it fit? We Google “comic book ‘arizona ranger‘”  to find the source…there’s Lone Ranger comics…Texas Ranger comics…there’s, um, this

Turns out it’s not a vintage comic after all, but is instead another title from TB’s imaginary Batom Comics: he mentioned The Arizona Ranger in his blog two years ago (along with Charlie and Chuck and Mr. Sponge). So TB commissioned this “tribute” (from an artist who is old enough to be a contemporary of Cliff Anger’s) and really doesn’t care if it makes any sense.

Honor Thy Anger

Scouring “Fleabay” for a decoder ring. Buying advertising space “in papers around the country” to run an encrypted invitation to fans. Booking an Art Deco palace for a reception and bringing in enough Ovaltine to float a  spaceship. The lengths that a major studio will go to in promoting a movie, right? Albeit a movie that’s still in production (and hell, we never even saw them delivering the finished script). Nope! Turns out this whole shindig was staged by Pete Regenbogen just to cheer up ol’ Cliff.

Thank You Vera Much

TheDiva
June 16, 2016 at 1:02 am
Cliff Anger gets a huge tribute in his honor, while his costar is just trotted out and expected to fawn on him the way everyone else does. Yep, sounds about right for this strip.

Eww! Old people flirting! Hard to find much else to say about today’s installment…Mason’s expression in panel one is not so much “I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone” but rather more like he’s just lit a stinkbomb and is off to watch the ensuing hilarity from a safe distance. “I always wondered what…” And we’ll always wonder what Cliff was about to say before Vera cut him off mid-sentence.