Tag: connie

Grandpa Batom Always Does

Link To Today’s Thing

At least demented, Alzheimer’s-ridden old Morty had a unique FW personality all his own, uninteresting and un-entertaining as it may have been. Now, alas, he’s just like the rest of them. Sigh.

Note to Tom: “Grandpa Google” is never, ever going to catch on, mainly because it doesn’t make any f*cking sense whatsoever. Perhaps it’s almost time to stop carrying on as if The Internet is some sort of newfangled marvel and just allow the characters to use it without acting all incredulous about it.

Coming tomorrow: Mort’s three-hundred pound box of old catalogs arrives and is unfortunately dropped on Ed’s oxygen hose. It crimps and he dies. Entire generations of comic strip readers shrug and/or say “what the hell is a “Crankshaft”?

Room /Z/

Link To Today’s Strip

See, if you never fully commit to the crossover it’s not shameless self-promotion, it’s just wry Tomfoolery. Everyone remembers the psychotic old school bus driver but no one in the Funkyverse can remember his name…which is Ed. Har-dee-f*cking har-har. After Mindy (shudder) marries Pete and they rent some “young couple just starting out” shitbox in the Montoni’s district will she still remember her grandfather’s (Ed, BTW) name or will she refer to him as “that grandfather guy”? Will Pete call him “your grandfather guy”? The mind reels.

 

Con Job

Link To Today’s Strip

Good ol’ Morty Winkerbean…BatWards’ worst retcon job ever. Those of you with short memories might not recall the “Funky puts his dementia-stricken father in a nursing home” arc of whatever year that was (2010, maybe 2011?) or how it led to Funky’s near-fatal car wreck or how that arc birthed (sigh) the Starbuck Jones phenomenon. Back then (and until he started smoking cigarettes several years later) Mort was gone, as in all the way. He’d show up on Father’s Day, Funky would wheel him around, he’d mutter a little and that was that.

Fast-forward to mid-2018 and that very same Morton is as sharp as the point on BatNard’s head and twice as witty. Hatching feel-good schemes, cutting records and performing live (only a few years after learning to play the trombone, mind you) AND he’s online too! Why, a reader who didn’t know any better might assume that this “Mort” fella is a brand new character but nope, he’s the same guy who was reduced to drool-cup status a few short (actually extremely long and tedious) years ago.

So I guess what I’m saying here is that BatWrite wasted years and years creating his little stories and creating a fictional universe that not only never went anywhere, it actually grabbed itself by the tail and ate itself. And I didn’t even mention how Crankshaft is somehow way older in FW than he is in his own strip, which is something I’m not even going to comment on as I don’t read “Crankshaft” and never will.

Did I Forget to Mention, Forget to Mention Memphis?

Home of Elvis and the ancient (band) geeks…Holiday greetings snarkers! It’s TFHackett, guest authoring for guest author SoSF David O.

A Sun session that lasted til sunrise, followed up with a night of fights and gunplay, finally catches up with the gang. Dinkle’s relieved to find the BM’s are nestled all snug in the van, ready for the 700-mile jaunt back to Westview. Sadly, fatigue will soon overtake Harry Dinkle as well; he’ll nod off behind the wheel somewhere along I-40 North, and all will be killed in the crash and subsequent explosion of Carl’s leaky oxygen tank. Thank you, Santa!

Sunrise, Sunset?

SosfDavidO here, and after a long night recording, our gang packs it up and watches the… sunrise? Is that what that’s supposed to be in today’s strip?! They’re staring at it like it’s the mushroom cloud of an atom bomb. Don’t step off the sidewalk, because what should be a solid street below the curb looks more like a gateway to another dimension. Meanwhile, the 2001 Monolith looms sinisterly ahead.

What a weird daily.