All that time he spent defusing bombs and dodging death over in Afghanistan didn’t do a whole lot for Cory’s cognitive thinking abilities, as he appears to be considering including Funky in some sort of relay race deal, which is a bit like entering an obese donkey in the Kentucky Derby. I liked old Cory better, at least he wasn’t just another predictable Pollyanna do-gooder with a dumb grin on his face 100% of the time. Now though…ugh. If the guy was any more bland he’d be completely invisible.
Tag: Cory
*Puff* The Tragic Fat Man
Poor, poor Funky. A decade of steady exercise and he’s more decrepit than ever. Whiner too. One wonders why he keeps it up given how it produces no results whatsoever, but in the Funkyverse logic is kind of…uh…”fluid” like that. Like for example how no one has viciously murdered Les yet despite having numerous opportunities to do so. Very unrealistic. Just visit New Jersey and start gallivanting around with that smirk and that headband and see how far you get. He’d be severely beaten ten times before he hit the pavement.
Merry Les Mess
Sigh. My most dreaded SoSF hosting scenario…a Les & Funky jogging arc. But wait! Two mysterious strangers approach Les and Funky, asking if they can run with them and…oh. Oh, it’s just Cory (yawn) and Rocky (zzzzz). Given that the new and improved Corporal Cory is about as interesting and entertaining as watching a compost heap molder, I’m not expecting much in the way of long-term plot development here or anything. Har.
Not only does he once again maddeningly start another new arc with like fifty other ones still dangling there, he has the f*cking temerity to put Les in that (sorry, no offense but there’s no other proper way to put it) fruity lavender-ish pink headband of his, which only increases my desire to use some sort of special gun to launch a huge railroad spike through his forehead. Wow is that enraging or what? It’s like he’s taunting me, deliberately looking for ways to annoy me even more, which should not be possible according to all existing scientific models.
Survival Of The Fleshiest
Sigh. So THIS is what the last week’s worth of incoherent babbling and story-avoidance was all about…it was all about getting to Sunday so he could show off the latest fantasy comic book title that slowly oozed from his tortured comic book-fractured mind. It all almost kind of makes a certain degree of “sense” now. Relatively speaking, of course.
The cover itself isn’t so bad or anything, but that insert bubble is downright baffling. What’s so “exotic” about it? So it was all Brady’s idea? How does this have anything to do with the Starbuck Jones film? If you want the readers to see a particular character as a “wacko”, shouldn’t you actually show said character doing wacky things? You would assume that eventually these two stories would come together in some sort of way but nope, one went in this direction while the other one just kind of sat there doing nothing which IMO sort of defeats the entire purpose of the whole thing. If there even was a purpose, that is.
Happy Endings
Jon loves happy endings. Ugh. I’m going to walk away from my keyboard, enjoy my Friday night and try to not think too much about the visual that Jon’s reference gives me in today’s strip.
And, whoa. Did Jon even think to mention to Holly that all of the Starbucks Jones comics were already collected into an affordable, easy-to-purchase digest? Or was he too blinded by the dollar signs in his eyes every time Holly reached for her purse?
Son of Stuck Funky 