Harry Dinkle – Page 23 – Son of Stuck Funky

Independence Day – Resurgence

So, as some commentors have noted, Indiegogo.com isn’t a Batiukian aberrance like “Fakebook” or “Fleabay” but an actual crowdfunding site, so I’m not sure what they’ve done–good or bad–to fall under Tom Batiuk’s scrutiny. A quick visit to their website and to their Wikipedia page shows that they’re mostly involved with technology, and have had a certain degree of success in that area.

They don’t seem to do much on artistic stuff, though. Didn’t see any musicians or bands in their catalogue of successes, though to be honest I, in a Batiukian mood*, didn’t really dig very far. Given the focus of this strip, with its childhood wish-fulfillment arcs and real-life shout-outs to obscure pals, it would not surprise me to learn that Indiegogo helped out some personage from Tom Batiuk’s past and he felt the need to give them a bit of grudging credit.

Either that, or, what appears most obvious, they paid him to run an ad. (Eyes heavenward) It pains me sore to think that Tom Batiuk might have stooped to commercial considerations, rather than stumble evermore upon the “awards” path.

*That should definitely be the title for the second Bedside Manorisms’ CD – “In a Batiukian Mood.” Can you just see the frowning tiki sculptures on the cover, along with a thoughtful Les Moore portrait and titles like “Sleeping Cancerous Village,” “Carcinomica,” “Seaside Melancholy,” “Running Along the Shore But Hating It,” “Don’t Mind the Tumors,” and of course, the focus of the whole LP, “Pulitzer Award Ceremony Anticipation.”

Candy Crush

Link to today’s strip.

So, the evil internet, with its Twitter Tots, Internuts and beady eyed nitpickers has come to the rescue of the Bedside Manor oldsters? I wonder what changed in Tom Batiuk’s worldview, to admit that the internet actually has some use… No, not really–actually, I wonder how we’re going to be shown what didn’t change, as we watch the oldsters fall victim to web hucksterism, and see their accrued cash disappear into some bitcoin Hell, along with their crushed dreams of release from Dinkle. Dinkle, of course, will be there, smirking to beat the band (yes, that’s intentional) and telling them how he knew this was going to happen. But while he is a god of wrath, he can be merciful. All they have to do is put themselves back into his hands. There’s still time to sell band candy, he’ll purr.

…you know, I may have been doing this Funky Winkerbean commentary thing way too long. The idea of something genuinely positive happening to someone other than Les Moore–that idea seems to automatically reject itself. The fact that it was the oldsters themselves who came up with this scheme, and NOT Harry Dinkle, seems to doubly condemn the oldsters to the sourest of outcomes.

I honestly had no idea that cynicism, by which I mean my cynicism, could be this deep, and this broad. It’s no wonder I paint nothing but skulls, lately.

Speaking of which, does anyone know who “Connie” is? I assume she’s the drummer, but I get lost when the characters here are only named when medical emergencies prevent them from doing their due Dinkle diligence. I do know one of them is named Carl, but only because he was a wuss and nearly died.

Oh, well…at least Tom Batiuk ended this one in two frames, because it looks like Mort/Violin player are starting to get a bit randy in panel two, and that’s rather more than I need to see. It doesn’t help with the cynicism thing at all.

We’re Not Gonna Take It

Link to today’s strip.

Oh joy, it’s Dinkle again. While Mort’s open rebellion against Dinkle’s iron rule is certainly welcome, it doesn’t mitigate the fact that we’re dealing with Dinkle.*

I guess back in 1972, recording an album was probably prohibitively expensive for a small ensemble. Nowadays, even the cheapest laptop can do so (provided it comes with a CD/DVD drive–which is actually becoming scarce on a lot of computers). Most laptops come with a microphone, and software is included on both Windows and Mac systems to record audio and burn it to CD. That’s all you need if you want to get a “live” sounding recording, which is what I suspect Dinkle is after. Oh, and you’ll need a blank CD. Which are pretty much available everywhere–I’ve seen them for sale in grocery stores.

Now, if you want to record separate instruments and add effects, that’s going to cost money, right? Eh, depends. Nice mixers with built-in effects can be pretty inexpensive, and as for software, well, there’s Audacity which comes with a hefty price tag of “free.” Oh, Audacity has a definite learning curve, but what are these old people going to do with their time anyway? If it gets too tough, have them smoke some cigarettes until their brains engage again. I’ve used Audacity extensively for my own animations and after a while, it’s pretty easy.

I’ve gone on at length about recording because I’m trying to ignore the “storyline” on display here. This was a stupid idea when it was first introduced and it hasn’t improved since. I don’t have a problem with the Bedside Manor band itself; I actually think it’s a great idea to get old people engaged in an activity like this. But now that the strip is all wish-fulfillment all the time, I’m going to guess that this arc will conclude with the CD being a runaway best-seller and Dinkle being offered the presidency of Columbia Records or some damned thing.

Or, more likely, it’ll be dropped and next Sunday will be Funky and Les jogging. Get to the 50th anniversary, but don’t unmoor too many of those boats on the way.

* That should be the album title, “Dealing with Dinkle.” Tragedy and unflinching fate in three words.

Dinkle Dinkle, Little Hell

Link to today’s strip.

A smoldering dump, an overflowing toilet, and a cretinous idiot walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll it be, Mr. Dinkle?”

It’s hard to convey how much I loathe Dinkle, but today’s episode provides some evidence as to why I do. Normally, this strip would end at the second panel, with Becky’s pun (admittedly far superior to anything offered by the students). But no, Dinkle has to have a panel to explain how he, in essence, “allowed” Becky to have her joke, but she shouldn’t get any ideas about how she “got” him.

I find it surprising that Dinkle wasn’t the one to deliver the pun. Maybe Tom Batiuk realized that Becky was, in the main, a pretty worthless character and he ought to have her do something, even if it’s not much of a something. Bonus points to Rick Burchett for not showing the pinned-up sleeve at all–a first, I think–and for giving Dinkle a really bad profile in panel three. I mean, look at that! He looks like a someone drew a face on a pinto bean. Maybe Burchett is learning to hate these characters as much as normal people do.

If Batiuk had Dinkle die horribly in a fire, I would lobby the Pulitzer Committee so hard…I mean, that would actually deserve the award.

A Sundered Sunday’s Sundry

Link to today’s strip.

As usual, Sunday’s offering was not available for preview. As I said last week, Sunday strips tend to be outside the continuity of the previous (or upcoming) week, so who knows what we’ll get? I’m going to guess “band camp.” It’s been a long while since we enjoyed one of those. …many, many years in fact. I’m sure we were presented one within the last year, though.

I doubt we’ll get a continuation of the “Flash Museum” arc, as Saturday showed both Pete and Dullard leaving the place. I suppose they could babble and babble about the stuff they’ve seen for six panels–it would not come as a surprise.

Note that I said “the stuff they’ve seen.” We sure as Hell didn’t get to see much of it. Jay Garrick’s hat, about half of Captain Cold, a distant picture of Gorilla Grodd, and some boomerangs. Someone who had never heard of the Flash, reading that story…would still never have heard of the Flash. On Wednesday, this person would learn that a comic book is involved, and on Thursday he’d hear about “Flash villain(s).” Though whether or not “Flash villain” is a villain opposing the Flash, or a type of villain, he would not know. Also, is the Flash a person, or an organization like SHIELD? For being such a big Flash fan, Tom Batiuk doesn’t seem to be able to say much about the man himself.

As Charles mentioned yesterday, Mr. Batiuk seems to have some peculiar ideas about Hollywood, and I’ve long suspected that the entire strip is just Mr. Batiuk saying, “This is my universe, and I can make it work however I want. Comic books are the most revered art-form. Anyone who works on a movie is paid enormous amounts of money, but they constantly daydream about what they really want to do–work on comic books. Females are there to see that the man is supported in all things, unless it’s Funky, because screw him.”

Speaking of money, I’ve occasionally ordered DVDs from Warner Bros online store, so they send me periodic emails about other things. One of them is a life-size statue of Wonder Woman, made out of some kind of foam and looking pretty realistic. In order to get one of those, prepare to have $1300 dollars on hand. Pete’s “dolly” looks less and less like an indulgence and more like an illness.

UPDATE: Well, today’s offering did involve the flash, though not the one people were nattering on about last week. The art in this one has a nice sense of space, flows well and looks pretty nice, though the two images of Dinkle do what in film school is called “crossing the axis.” It’s something you’re not supposed to do, as it tends to subliminally confuse audiences.

The one thing I really want to mention is that image of Funky. He has now become indistinguishable from his father, which makes that last panel pretty…disturbing.

Well, I see the light at the end of the tunnel is growing dim, so time for me to climb out of the pit before it fades entirely. Please welcome your new dungeon master, DavidO! Let’s all look forward to tomorrow, when, uh, a thing, er, might happen…or might not, but as always…um…[slinks away awkwardly]