Tag Archives: jukebox

Monday, Aug. 10

Today’s strip was not available for preview, but I had a dream last night that my newspaper replaced FW with Cul-De-Sac reruns.

Alas, I awoke to find FW in its typical place between Crankshaft and F-Minus and then had to read Lio online.

As FW strips go… it was a FW strip… but there weren’t any laughs.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

What a Jukeoff

TFH here, starting things off with a hat tip to SoSfDavidO and the rest of the guest author rotation for bringing you the daily snark!

Guest Page Turner Author
June 27, 2015 at 1:50 am
So Funky had the band box repaired…[b]ut he repaired the Bandbox specifically to watch these individuals dance…[i]nstead, they are jamming to the music from the jukebox. Which didn’t need fixing…[a]nd probably worked all along.

I’ll bet Les’ friends cringe anytime he starts a sentence with “I don’t know if you guys know this, but…” With Westview’s cultural totem refurbished and restored to its place of honor, Montoni’s is once again “alive with music”, if not with paying customers. Naturally Les, the walking Wikipedia, cannot resist using the occasion to school his lessers on the history and etymology of the jukebox, and is chastened by Funky—Funky!—for being a buzzkill.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky


SoSofDavidO here, hoping from the looks of today’s strip that the Alzheimer’s storyline is kept to Crankshaft and not bleeding over into Westview as Crazy Harry seems to have forgotten his phone. But hey, at least they made it back before things got too crazy with Holly and Darin alone in that sweltering pizza shop.


Meanwhile, Keith Repairguy doesn’t have enough space above his character for a word balloon so we’re left wondering what the hell he’s still doing there. Is Funky supposed to drive him home? Is he waiting for a tip?


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

The (Re-)Coming Reunion

Cindy has flown all the way back to Westview not just to seek Funky’s sage counsel but to tie up some loose ends, including handing off the chairmanship of the Coming Reunion. This would be their 37th; the 30th reunion took place in 2008. If there’s a downside to being Most Popular, it’s automatically being installed as Reunion Chairman for Life. Meanwhile Les has “résumé” confused with “job description”.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Lube Job

Link To Today’s Strip

Oh my, that Batiukian wit! See, if they smear Vaseline (REGISTERED TRADEMARK) on the camera lens, Cindy won’t appear so weathered, haggard and disgusting, thus she might be able to scrape out a few more undignified years of grunt work before she overdoses on pills and booze…in the apartment above Montoni’s, no doubt. Man, that is SO FUNNY and not just because it’s a contemporary issue like the ones you and I face every day, but because a once-beautiful TV personality who’s been told she’s not beautiful anymore…ha ha ha. How’s it feel now, little miss high school popularity queen, huh? Your god is a vengeful and spiteful god, Cindy.

Since being informed that she was being fired from her prestigious high-profile TV gig for showing signs of aging, Cindy has thus far managed to skulk back to her old high school haunt to find her ex-husband so she can sleep on his couch. Such a strong female character, eh? The only one of the lot to escape from the death grip of that God-forsaken town is back and she’s just like the rest of them: a weary, beaten husk of a human being sitting in that awful pizza place, exchanging wry banter about how shitty everything is. And she’s aged twenty years since she walked (much to Holly’s surprise) through the door. Just an absolute tour de force of human misery and woe. Take note, Pulitzer commitee.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Ring of Shame

The second most surprising thing about today’s strip: Montoni’s has a modern touchscreen point-of-sale system. you’d expect to see an old-time ch-ching! cash register behind the counter.

The real story here is how Rachel “I’m only a blonde on Sundays” O’Conner cleverly finagles a real engagement ring from her dishwasher fiancé. Fashioning a ring out of Wally’s I.O.U. initially seemed sweet and spontaneous. Now she makes it clear to Wally that she intends to wear that damn thing on her finger every day, informing every Montoni’s customer who asks “What’s this?” that Wally didn’t buy her a ring.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

What the Heck Do We Care?

Now you know how many ‘holes it takes to fill Montoni’s Pizzeria.

July 10, 2013 at 11:50 pm
Okay, folks, place your bets:
Halle is drawn in the background of a Sunday spread in a listless nod to continuity: 6/1

Does Halle Dinkle’s presence here qualify as a “crossover” if nobody knows about her comic strip? She’s the one helpfully holding up a placard-sized “Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad” card. There’s another unfamiliar face in the crowd, above Dinkle’s head, whose identity will be revealed Friday (as an afterthought; TB’s just giving a shout-out to one of his music friends). Rachel’s been made to don the dreaded red apron but Wally (and his wonder dog Buddy) have been permitted to mingle with the invited guests. I would give Dead Skunk Head John a hard time for showing up in a t-shirt, but hey: we’re in a pizza parlor.

Get ready for another guest blogger: starting Monday, it’s the snark stylings of Beckoning Chasm!


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky


Again: was there not one person (besides Funky) whom Dinkle could’ve enlisted to help him organize this party? All the stress has this poor old man ready to plotz.  There’s “all the secret invitations” (how many? Forty? Fifty tops, give the size of Montoni’s)…Ordering a cake (and then having to ensure that Funky would be there Sunday morning to take receipt of same)…Burning a whole CD! As far as the decorations, granted, that little twat at Party City was pretty mean to you. Why not treat yourself to a nice, relaxing massage? You enjoyed the one you got in Vegas that time, right? No?


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

March Madness

Ah, yes: Montoni’s famous solid gold jukebox. Batiuk’s fond of saying that Montoni’s Pizzeria is a replication of  Luigi’s Restaurant in Akron, OH, “right down to the nails in the floor.” But an image found on Flickr shows a rather more mundane ‘box in that real-world establishment. I guess Tom felt that a classic round-top Wurlitzer would add some charm. Sadly though, whoever colors these strips either has never seen a Wurlitzer, or is too lazy or incompetent to color it in any shade but sickly yellow.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Reality Stinks

Epicus Doomus
May 28, 2013 at 12:23 am
When you think about it, why would Boy Lisa be leaving? He works AND lives there, shouldn’t Frankie be the one leaving?

And why is the act of leaving taking so damn long? Darin’s started hustling Jess towards the exit as soon as Lenny mentioned their “show”, pausing only to express his indignation. Turns out that Plan B is another, darker reality show, where good guy Frankie’s paternal overtures are rebuffed by dickhead Darin.

May 28, 2013 at 2:29 am
Ok, ok I get it TB you hate reality shows. I don’t like them either, but I don’t behave like a douche about it.

Yes, guess we can add wicked, evil “reality TV” to TB’s list of “contemporary issues affecting young adults.”


Filed under Uncategorized