Backhanded Compliment

Les finally pries open that smirk in today’s strip. Does he continue to live up to his well-earned reputation as the biggest schmuck on the comics page? Boy, does he ever!

This is, perhaps, the perfect test to see if the jerk store called and is running out of you:
Your friend has a panicked expression on his face and is admittedly struggling to breathe, beyond being typically “winded”, what do you do?

– A – Make a joke about his possibly health-threatening condition being an improvement for the environment.
– B – Do pretty much anything else.

Bonus Haiku:
I don’t know what it
Is… but I just can’t seem to
Exhale completely

Even when potentially in need of medical attention, Bull puts forth his second haiku in as many panels. This is notable because it is more than the last three years’ worth of writing from Les and Mopey Pete combined.

Haik-ugh!

Aging gracefully
No one in Westview does it
As today’s strip shows

Smugly smirking Les
Has not spoken yet this week
Still so hate-able

The second panel
It is um… well, it… oh boy
Photoshop away

So many chain links
Has TB found his new muse
Alongside red brick

These days I grunt when
I sit down for a break… and
When I get back up

Well, what do you know
Bull is a better poet
Than Les the writer

Wimbledumb

Warning!

Today’s strip contains panels that some readers may find offensive. At least we hope you find Les smirking offensive. If you don’t, what is wrong with you? Anyways, reader discretion is advised.

Bull really has no excuse for not remembering how to open up a can, he used to open up a can all the time on Les. Oh wait, sorry, that was retconned… Or was it ret-retconned?

Les and Bull’s tennis matches were a not uncommon element of late Act II, but I am not sure we’ve seen them play at all in Act III. It was on the tennis court that Les finally became comfortable with having Bull as a coworker, after the reveal that Bull bullied Les back in high school because he went home to an abusive father every night. Just another reminder that literally everybody in this strip wallowed through a maudlin morass of serious issues at some point during Act II.

Achilles’ Last Stand

You know who really does deserve a Pulitzer? Whoever came up with that blurb “Funky Winkerbean is a reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues affecting young adults in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner.” That is, if there’s a Pulitzer Price for bullshit.

Epicus Doomus
June 24, 2016 at 10:29 pm
And of course we all know [Mason wanting to add an “e” to his last name] will never, ever be mentioned again…

Each time TB squanders ink and newsprint on a strip where Les and Funky go running, it’s the same question: why does Funky do it if he derives no benefit? Les appears to be reasonably fit (at least compared to Funky). He’s not spraying plewds everywhere (“plewds“, by the way, are the droplets of sweat we see in cartoons). Although that might be attributed to Les’ sweatband, which he wears so tightly that it appears to be deforming his skull.

On the heels of bringing you the last couple weeks of snark, yours truly feels like Funky does after one of his runs! Fortunately, billytheskink will be tagging in to go mano a mano with the mind of Batiuk for the next fortnight. Thanks as always for reading, commenting, and sharing the pain.

 

CTRL-ALT-DULL

Link to today’s strip.

Well!…and that’s that.  Anyone who thought that the computer might actually do something has to be contented with some hot wheeled-away action.  Yet another disappointment, one supposes, though at least memories of the “fun” Act I weren’t ruined.  In other words, it could have been worse.  Far worse.

The way things develop in this strip is truly unfathomable; one can’t help but wonder why the computer was brought back at all, except 1) as a tease to long-time readers, only to be dashed to earth, signifying this strip is serious so look elsewhere for “fun”; 2) as a form of “striking the set,” ie, removing anything that might be entertaining, and 3) as a means to mention Starbuck Jones yet again, though Tom Batiuk is slipping by not using his full name.  Which “Starbuck” is this, Tom, I’m all confused!

Maybe now that it has, *cough*, contributed, the computer will go to Washington DC on a senior class trip!  That should take, oh, half an off-screen panel.

For someone who contributed nothing at all this week, Les sure looks remarkably smug in panel one (though to be fair, that’s his default expression).  And in panel two, Tom Batiuk’s itch is finally scratched and Les opens his mouth.  Jim Kibblesnbits is a complete ass, but I’m willing to reduce his massive negative score by one for shutting down Les.  (Personally, I would have used one fewer syllable, if you know what I mean, but then that’s me.)  His stance perfectly conveys utter contempt and disdain.  Oh, I’m sure the lesson we’re supposed to take is that Les is so wise and deep, such that no one is capable of swimming in his waters.  They’d rather stay in the warm, ignorant shallows.  Anyone who has read this strip for any length of time will take the opposing view, that Les is being deservedly beached on his deserted isle.

Jim Kibblesnbits is one of those characters who rarely appears, but like a fly discovered embedded in the lemon meringue, his rarity doesn’t lesson his loathsomeness in any way.  He shines out like a rotten, crumbling sun, spraying sickly light on vast dead plateaus and their attendant population of shriveling bacteria and scrubby lichens.  Today, though, in this one thing, I give him a half-lidded smirk and the offhand flick of a salute.  Here, I wish more people would look to him as an example.  (And nowhere else.)  He’s been an ass all his life, and he’ll be an ass tomorrow, but tonight by God he’s everyone’s hero.

The three of them walking away from an already forgotten, completely despised Les is a truly poetic image, made more so by the vent lines on the locker near Les’ mouth.  It looks like he’s bleating…which he probably is.

Les should be broken in half, placed in a paper bag on your worst enemy’s doorstep, then lit on fire.  Ring the doorbell and prepare to be entertained.