Tag Archives: marching band fundraisers

Everybody Had Matching Towels

Link to today’s strip.

Wow, it looks like Bernie and Thatsnought are determined to make this sale!  In the second panel, it appears they are physically forcing the mattress against that lady, shoving her back into her own home!  “Buy this mattress or we will kill you with it!”  Wow, that eleven dollars is as good as theirs!

Many folks have pointed out the idiocy of this arc–you don’t lug the damned mattresses around, the same way you don’t carry around turkeys that are becoming dangerous by the minute as they thaw and incubate.  No, you show pictures to folks and take orders, then you order the stock, and then you deliver the orders.  But that’s not the way things work in the Batiukverse.

Okay, fine, comic strip rules are not the same as real-world rules.  But here’s my question, specifically about what we’re seeing here, with Bernie and Thatsnought shilling a mattress.

What happens if they sell it?  Are they done for the day, or do they have to go back and get another mattress, come back and start again at the next house on this street?  Is there a flatbed truck just out of sight that has a dozen or so more mattresses for them?  Has this arc been poorly thought out?

Uh, I mean um *cough*

Well, I’m sure there are at least half a dozen people saying, “Hey, you wanted him to do more funny strips and he’s doing them!  There are jokes!  You people are ungrateful and should be thanking him!”   Well, okay, but honestly, this strip doesn’t give me much to be thankful for.  The problem is, as far as “funny,” that ship has sailed many years ago.  Tom Batiuk has no idea how to be funny.

And if you’re not going to be funny, at least get the logistics right.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

November 20, 2017

Link to today’s strip.

Greetings, all, BChasm back again for a spin on the Devil’s Tricycle.  First of all, shout out to Comic Book Harriet, whose hosting last week was outstanding.  Great insight and great humor–two things Tom Batiuk wishes he still had.

Today’s strip was not available for preview, but if I’ve learned anything, it’s that Tom Batiuk’s ability to generate boring and uninvolving content easily beats my ability to predict what will appear.  What will we get?  More Lisa auction?  Les on his book tour?  Bull reliving his high school football career?  Funky’s failing health?  Why, it’s like some kind of monstrous game show, where the only prizes are terrible!   IT’S A TORTURE DEVICE FOR THE MODERN AGE!

(Felt tip to Red Letter Media, from which much of the above was stolen.)


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Global Snooze Farce

Link to today’s strip

For some reason BatNom finds great, great humor in the idea of high school marching band members selling things to raise money for the band. Turkeys, books, chocolate…it doesn’t matter what they’re selling, just that they’re doing it.


“Hi, can I help you?”

“Hello, I’m with the local high school marching band. We’re selling this Belgian chocolate to help raise money for new uniforms.”

(BanTom collapses to floor doubled over in hysterical laughter. Alarmed youngster quickly backs away and flees.)

See, these stupid marching band gags are all rooted in the character Dinkle used to be. Back when he was the megalomaniacal tyrant band director with all sorts of zany ideas, the band fundraising gags were likewise based upon that zaniness. Harry wants to sell band turkeys, Harry pushes the students to sell more and more candy and so forth. As awful as they jokes themselves were, they were at least consistent with the character. It’d make (a little) more sense if the old Dinkle was acting like marching bands represented the height of “culture” and bragging about his “global sales force”, as he was supposed to be delusional and over-the-top.

The problem (apart from the many other ones of course) is that Dinkle isn’t the zany old band director with his eyes always obscured by his stupid hat anymore, now he’s just another squishy old smirking moron who’s really only immediately distinguishable from the other squishy old smirking morons because he’s often standing next to a woman with one arm. The “jokes” are already abysmal but when taken out of their proper context and delivered by the universally-despised new Dinkle they’re just the pointless mutterings of another annoying jerk.

Interesting note: that was the first FW arc in a while that actually contained some sort of factual information, as totally pointless as it was. At long last, I’m finally actually learning something from this strip. I like it and would like to see it become a recurring thing.

“OK Funky, meet me over by the gazebo.”

“You mean the spot where General Cleveland Cincinnati wrested control of Central Ohio away from the hated Swedes back in 1814?”

“Yes, pizza.”


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky