Tag: Starbuck Jones

Incohe-rent

Remember to vote for your favorite guest author in our 6th Anniversary Contest! Winner will be announced tonight.

These Hollywood producers really have the cash to throw around, don’t they? Presumably it’s on their dime that Mason and company have been able to fly to Ohio, then on to New York, on their quest to track down this forgotten actor. And today, on the recommendation of their leading man, they’re prepared to pay a year’s rent on Cliff’s New York city apartment, ostensibly in addition to a fat paycheck that will set him up for life. So thrilled is Cliffy with this turn of events that he’s unfazed when Mason offhandedly insults his current surroundings.

Look Back in Anger

It speaks to the drawn out pacing of this comic strip that today’s strip could seamlessly follow last week’s, completely doing away with Cindy’s fire escape escapade. I’m not an avid Mary Worth reader but I imagine the same thing must happen over there a lot.

A cursory search of Grandpa Google for the phrase “grandpa google” reveals that nobody except Pete and Tom Batiuk actually call Google that, so into the Batiuktionary it goes. A good gag would have had cranky old Cliff reply to Pete “Who are you callin’ Grandpa?” But clearly this is one internet savvy old man. He’s used the web to move enough SJ collectibles to create a trail that has led these strangers hundreds of miles to find him. What little inventory he has left fits in an old suitcase: a raygun, rocketship, some action figures (and were “action figures” even a thing back in the days of serials? Boys didn’t play with dolls until G.I. Joe), along with a rather intriguing “coloring book” whose cover will probably serve as next Sunday’s entire strip.

Charming the Angry Cliff

Hey, everyone. SpacemanSpiff85 giving it a shot today. All week I was afraid I’d get a full panel of antique Starbuck Jones memorabilia drawn by whoever Batiuk last cornered at a con, so I’m glad I actually have something to write about today.

So…Mason just sat on the window sill like that? And not just while he was watching Cindy on the balcony, but even after she went inside Anger’s apartment and talked to him, which probably took a little while? He didn’t wonder if maybe he should be concerned for her well being? While he had Funky still on the phone? And Pete just stood there awkwardly in the hallway, probably daydreaming about how the old Batom writers used to break into people’s apartments through fire escapes, back in yesteryear? As dumb and typically Batiukian as all this is, it is kind of great seeing Mason’s sad little expression as his fiancée’s ex-husband basically says he still finds Cindy attractive. And who doesn’t Funky have the hots for? Not Holly, as far as I can tell, but his fitness instructor, ex-wife, and his son’s fiancée clearly do it for him.

And the multi-cellular organism bit is another dumb bit of what Batiuk thinks qualifies as wordplay. Single celled organisms don’t find her charming? Plants and mold and lichen do? I kind of wonder if Batiuk originally had something along the lines of “Who wouldn’t?” or “Him, too?” but thought that was too creepy and unfunny even for him. Or maybe he just thinks “multicelled organism” is impressive science talk, like “anti-matter brownie” or “time pool”.

And finally: is she a hag or a seductress charming her way into stranger’s apartments with her beauty, Batiuk? I’m sure in a week’s time she’ll be moaning over how she’s far too worn and decrepit to be the Vera Moon to Mason’s Starbuck.

Rear Window

We bring you Day 2 of SoSF’s 6th Anniversary Gala as Paypah Clip steps up to the Guest Author plate! Remember to check out all of our guest authors this week and vote for your favorite starting Sunday!

Link to today’s utter nonsense

Hi, y’all! Paypah Clip here for a guest turn at SofSF. Away we go…

Hoo boy. In today’s offering, we get to see Mopey and M. Jarr, action star, stand around being vigilantly useless while (35? 58?)-year-old Cindy limbers up and in true 15-year-old fashion greases herself through an upper-story window like a spider monkey.

I’m always looking for some consistency in TB’s renderings of Cindy, and I never find it. Sometimes she’s smoking hot a la her days at Westview, but on off days it looks like her face is melting or she had a mild stroke. And no one around her says, “Hey, Cindy, you ok? You kind of went all Jabba the Hut on us.” Today, we are treated not to Cindy’s ever-changing face but to her (also) shape-shifting derrière. It’s inconsistent, but in the Batuikverse, that’s consistent with expectations. And there’s something kind of comforting in that.

My hope for Cindy is that she’s clambering out to escape these dreary knuckleheads, while Cliff Anger comes out of his apartment and attacks them with a meat cleaver in a dementia- and methamphetamine-fueled rage. One can dream.

Not By The Hair Of My Chinny Chin Chin…

Hi gang! The SoSF 6th Anniversary Week kicks off with a very special contest: five faithful readers will get a turn in the guest author chair to vie for utterly worthless prizes! Three spots remain! If you’d like to play along, the details may be found here. Meanwhile, please enjoy our first Guest Author!

Hi, folks! HeyItsDave here with my Guest Author post (special thanks to TFHackett for the opportunity!)

With the help of that awesome people-finding search engine eBay, the Tin Man, Dorothy, and the Cowardly Lion have finally arrived at the Wizard’s palace, only to be turned away at the gate.

Look at that dejected look on poor Mason’s face. So far, he’s pretty much been depicted as a kind of goofy-but-well-meaning regular sort of guy. I almost feel sorry for him as he realizes that maybe he’s not such a well-known beloved celebrity after all (the hero’s welcome he got in Westview, America’s Heartland must have really jaded him.)

C’mon, Mason! You’re an action star! KICK THAT DAMN DOOR IN AND MEET YOUR HERO!  Or, you know, embrace your butthurt…

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