Uh-O-Hio

Thankfully, today’s strip see’s the end of Funky and Holly’s ridiculous and pointless road trip. Unfortunately, panel 3 seems to be foreshadowing a fate worse than Montoni’s pizza for dinner… alumni band practice, no doubt involving Lefty and Dinkle. This relatively innocuous strip is, unfortunately, a likely calm before the storm.

Sometimes with this strip, you think there can be nowhere to go but up. That is NEVER the case, though. Never allow yourself to think that this strip cannot get worse. It has too deep bench of characters and recurring settings that you fear seeing to ever expect improvement, the immortal Dinkle and his non-retirement being chief among them.

Dozebudd

It continues in today’s strip… “it” being history’s longest drive from Florida to Ohio. Or maybe it is a chronicle of the most unbelievably boring competitors to have ever taken part in The Cannonball Run.

I don’t know if this is the best of this week’s miserable set of strips or the worst. One one hand, everyone gets a rare moment of positivity: Holly’s mom is certainly enjoying her reminiscence of Holly’s childhood, Holly seems to be enjoying it as well, and even Funky is spared TB’s wrath for one panel. On the other hand, this strip also rips each and every one of those positive bits away because TB long ago decided that Funky and anyone in his orbit are not allowed to have nice things. Yep, this is the worst… nothing worse than a tease.

Route Canal

Dinkle appears in today’s strip.
No “spoiler alert” tag… this is not a spoiler, it is a warning. You have been warned. Read at your own risk. Or don’t, your life will be better off.

You know what, I’m going to focus on just one small little part of this strip and let our great commenters take the rest of it apart. I’m going to deal only with the first four words that appear in the strip, “Speaking of band candy”.

“SPEAKING OF BAND CANDY”?!
NO ONE was speaking of band candy! No one other than Dinkle is ever speaking of band candy! No one in their right mind wants to speak of band candy! I suppose Dinkle is correct in “saying “speaking of band candy” because that is a 100% accurate description of what he proceeds to do… thus, he most assuredly wanders around uttering “speaking of band candy” whenever he wants to speak of band candy. There is no other possible explanation. I’m typing “speaking of band candy” over and over again in desperate hope that this will be last time those words are ever written. Please. Please.

The Song That Never Ends

Link to today’s strip.

I get the intended joke: band never ends.  Students unfortunate enough to play an instrument never get their lives back from the one-armed bandit.  The thing is, it’s not funny, it’s depressing, which lines right up with everything about this strip.  Is this really how Tom Batiuk wants to shape his legacy?  That he made the world a worse place by placing his work in it?  Cos that’s what’s happening right now, on film and in the studio.

I want to add this quote from Batiuk’s blog:

“As long as I’m at it, the whole Pop Art movement was wrong as well. The artists of the Pop Art movement treated the comics as something disposable and shallow even as they tried to emulate them. “

I hate to break this to him, but most of the creators of comic books thought they were disposable and shallow.   Stan Lee, for example, wanted to write the Great American Novel and saw comic books as a way to earn a living in the meantime.

I also want to quote this, from a Flash Friday episode, before he corrects it:

“Stories don’t come in a much scope than that.”

Yes folks, that’s [sic] and I find it hilarious…more so than anything this strip has offered up.

One notable aspect of today’s strip is that Becky’s sleeve is nowhere in evidence.   Someone slipped up in quality control!  Also, Dinkle is nowhere to be found, so that’s a bonus point.  I do like the way Becky rotates through the panels, it helps to alleviate the boring nature of the strip by at least adding some visual interest.

Tuna Melt

Link to today’s strip.

I was gonna title this one “I Melt With You” but someone (TFH himself it turns out) already thought of that, so I had to fall back and punt.  The reason for using “melt” should be obvious from the artwork: these people are dissolving before our eyes into some kind of primordial slime.   And worse, it’s because they’re laughing so hard at Becky’s…wit.

Ever notice that when one of Batiuk’s favored characters says something intended as a joke, the crowd dissolves into paroxysms of uncontrolled laughter?  Yet when one of his hated characters says something that’s actually funnier, those characters are met with a stony silence iced with contempt.

Of course you’ve noticed.  It’s one of the hallmarks of this strip, now that it has morphed fully into the “revenge on those who failed to appreciate me” Legion of Doom.

In melting news, look at Mr. and Mrs. Pinkenpurple in panel two.*   This, ladies and gentlemen, is some damn bad art.  But it’s in the cause of making Becky look great!

Which makes it even worse, in my opinion.

As for the “tuna” part of my title, well, they’re talking about food and tuna is a food so there you go.  I’ll admit the level of work I put into this one approaches Batiukian levels. But…I’m writing about Batiukan stuff!  So it turns out to be all “meta” and like that, and my check better clear at the local Sprawl Mart, or there’ll be trouble in guest-hosting land!

Speaking of bad art, when folks ask me about my college career, I tell them “I got a degree in fine arts…gateway to the restaurant business!”  Meaning I got a lot of jobs as a busboy and stuff.  I think my joke is better than Becky’s on the same theme, though I’ll admit mine’s only a tiny bit better.

*Fun fact:  I was going to call them Mr. and Mrs. Goodnplenty because I thought Good N Plenty candy was pink and purple.  In fact, I would have sworn that was the case.  But they’re not, they’re pink and white…unless I’m a victim of the Mandela Effect.