Tag: Cayla

‘Nuts to You, Westview

Memo to future Westview High School Reunion Committees: do not let Barry Balderman recommend a DJ.

Guest Page Turner Author
July 5, 2015 at 11:41 pm
…All the venues were booked, my ass! On a Sunday evening of a holiday weekend? !?!

I guess “holiday weekend class reunions” are a big thing in Westview, as are poorly structured DJ contracts. Anyone who calls themselves professional, “state of the ark” equipment or not, would surely risk legal action and terrible word-of-mouth for such shenanigans. But Les and company’s anger is directed not at the DJ but at the school that lured him away.

Gym Jam

The red and blue balloons (though the school colors are red and white) have been filled, and the kraft paper and tempera paint banner has been haphazardly Scotch-taped to the folded up bleachers. Everything appears ready for the coming reunion. You’d expect Reunion Committee Chairman Les to be displaying his base-running, smugly satisfied smirk. But Les implies that the reunion planning has been fraught with problems. OK, well, his committee did forget to choose a venue, though this issue was easily resolved (albeit to the detriment of Westview’s basketball-loving youth). Les has overcome his lack of a Facebook page and a suitable high school portrait, and has managed to delegate the setting up of the Lisa shrine, yet he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. And here comes Barry Balderman to drop that shoe…

What a Jukeoff

TFH here, starting things off with a hat tip to SoSfDavidO and the rest of the guest author rotation for bringing you the daily snark!

Guest Page Turner Author
June 27, 2015 at 1:50 am
So Funky had the band box repaired…[b]ut he repaired the Bandbox specifically to watch these individuals dance…[i]nstead, they are jamming to the music from the jukebox. Which didn’t need fixing…[a]nd probably worked all along.

I’ll bet Les’ friends cringe anytime he starts a sentence with “I don’t know if you guys know this, but…” With Westview’s cultural totem refurbished and restored to its place of honor, Montoni’s is once again “alive with music”, if not with paying customers. Naturally Les, the walking Wikipedia, cannot resist using the occasion to school his lessers on the history and etymology of the jukebox, and is chastened by Funky—Funky!—for being a buzzkill.

Feet Fail Me Now

SosfDavidO here! Aw, lookit! In today’s strip we get treated to Tombat’s take on the “someone who is dancing silly is interrupted by someone silently watching” schtick that was the mainstay of movie trailers in the late 90s. Cue up that record-scratch sound effect!

What’s the cause for celebration? He finished another book! Presumably the same book that Darin had given him an idea for only yesterday. Either he used 48pt font or I’m calling complete, utter, time-bending, reality-warping bulls*** on this!

Reunion City Blues

Link To Today’s Contrivance

So let’s take a moment to recap this idiotic reunion arc. Cindy usually organizes the reunion, but she can’t this year, so she inexplicably gives Les the job. At no point does she specify “anywhere but the gym”. Les meets with the rest of the reunion committee and they spend the entire meeting fooling around with that stupid cancer book. At no time does anyone on the committee discuss a venue or mention the fact that Cindy does not want to use the gym. Then, after doing nothing, Les suddenly realizes there’s no venue for the reunion. He panics and sulks.

After Cayla suggests the school, Les discovers that Bull is running a sports-related activity in the gym that same day. So apparently Les will use his “friendship” with Bull to convince the moron to f*ck over the basketball campers so he can use the gym for the reunion. The dreams of young aspiring hoopsters put on hold so Les and his obese pals can waddle around the gym, all because Les was too lazy and mopey to find a more suitable venue. What a dick.

And now, obviously, Cindy will get all upset and berate Les, then she’ll be forced to apologize on his porch after it’s the Best Reunion Ever. That horrible dick with ears will be the f*cking hero again. And it sickens me, it really does. This mess is going to take weeks to play out, guaranteed.