Montoni’s…the wedding venue of choice for couples who just don’t really give a f*ck anymore. A “99% success rate”??? So Montoni’s has hosted 100 weddings and only one of those unholy unions failed? THAT seems unlikely. As difficult as this is to believe right now I’m actually hoping they get back to the Big Alumni Reunion Band thing or whatever it was, as at least that wasn’t entirely predictable. I like how Rocky still has absolutely nothing to say and no input to offer regarding her own wedding, which would be wildly unrealistic in any other setting but makes perfect sense in the Funkyverse. Obviously she saw her inevitable future and gave up long ago, much like TomHack’s readership did back in ’84.
Tag: Montoni's
Flying Fickle Finger of Fat
I wasn’t around, in Funky Winkerbean terms, when “Darrin Opens A Letter” famously played. As such, I’ve only seen it in the archives here–everything at one go, rather than stretched out over days.
The pacing there seems positively riveting and action-packed compared with what we’re presented with now. Yes–Funky is going to take an entire week to send a text message.
In fairness, unlike the Darrin story, this one at least doesn’t involve Les or Lisa in any way. That puts it about 50 points ahead. Just like the Darrin story, though, this one lacks anything resembling a punchline, or humor of any kind. Par for the course these days.
Speech to Text
The signs are in; this is going to be a s-l-o-o-o-w week. Today we have another sit-com level gag, although I think even the laugh-track would refuse to perform for this one.
I can see how this one was constructed–Holly’s last line is supposed to be the punchline, and Batiuk just worked backward from there (assuming I can use the word “worked”). But Funky’s dialogue in panel one, and particularly the emphasized word “you” seems to imply that Funky’s the one doing all the texting, while Holly’s riposte–again with “you” emphasized–implies that she’s been doing all the texting. Which is it?
I mean, if you cannot establish a simple premise (who does all the texting) in a single comic strip without stepping all over said premise, well, then it’s no wonder continuity, character and history are such a tangled, unaddressed mess in this strip.
I do appreciate the attempt at humor, though. It’s not funny, but the fact that there’s a joke lurking in here is at least an improvement worth acknowledging.
Don’t Eat the ‘Magical’ ‘Pepperoni’.
Today’s strip is finally up.
“Waterlogged comics! Mixed with moldy discarded pizza toppings! And mildew! That’s our hero.”
Darin stares blankly at Pete.
“It emerges from the basement: a sentient mass in the vague shape of a man, but grotesque and lumpy. An abomination of pulped paper, and smeared three-color inks, held together by black mold and marinara.”
Darin doesn’t speak.
“But there’s this beautiful woman, see and she is entranced by his doughy nature, his strange charms. Even though they can’t be together in a traditional sense, she is willing to do anything, try anything, to feel in every cell of her being the deeper spiritual connection pulsing between the flawless woman and the eldritch Comicmuck Thing! All in a homage to Swamp Thing 34! You know, Alan Moore? Rite of Spring?”
Darin reluctantly puts his pencil to paper… “Okay Pete, if you’re sure you’re okay with us using your love life that way.”
Shadowy Agenda
Someone decided to rip of Frank Miller in exactly one panel today.
Actually the art on looks pretty good, bravo to the colorist for the gradient shades on Chester’s bald head. And you can actually tell that it is supposed to be a Hulk poster in the background. Much better than the weeklies. If you look at Saturday we have a brown Green Arrow, and a nearly black Spider Man. I know that there is a black Spider Man now, but I don’t think he’s gone for a suit the same shade as his skin.
In one entire week of strips, we’ve learned exactly HALF of why Chester is here. I’m guessing that at the end of next week we will finally learn why he wants to contact Mopey Pete.
Son of Stuck Funky 