Tag: Pete

Baturday

Gerard Plourde
June 20, 2019 at 11:59 pm
We don’t see it, of course, but I’m enjoying the thought that Darin bought “a bunch” of 2006 commemorative stamps featuring The Flash.

A very good guess indeed, and certainly close enough. Sure, Darin makes a big display of sending his beard wife an “I Care” package,  but he doesn’t forget to come back from the P.O. with a little something for his real life partner. It’s $9.80 well spent, too: just look at Pete’s flesh-colored eyeballs sparkling with delight.

Like I Care

Having satisfied her simian sexual appetites, as well as getting in a “bonding moment” with her child, Jessica has hastened back to L.A.—the world must not be made to wait any longer for that very important Butter Brinkel documentary! She’s probably been back in town barely long enough to unpack her suitcase; long enough to compel Darin to show his “caring” by sending her a package. Rather, “one of” his packages, which suggests this is a thing with him. Batiuk persists in depicting Darin and Jessica as these two starry eyed, young sweethearts, tragically kept apart by their respective, oh-so-important careers.

Like A Ring-Tailed Lemur On A Swedish Meatball

Link To Today’s Thing

OK, now this mess is reading like a really shitty G-rated “Married With Children” knock-off type thing, the only thing missing is canned laughter and audience hooting. After a week of zany gags about children’s behinds, hot sex, Skyler’s aberrant attention-seeking behavior and potty jokes, it’s time for some sitcom-style gender role reversal. Boy Lisa expresses his feelings and his desire to “just talk” to his BFF Pete while the gals get together to exchange crude sexually suggestive similes involving primates and food. See, it’s funny because MEN are typically the over-sexed slobs and…ah, you know. At least Jessica finally got to bond with someone, although unfortunately for little baby Skyler it wasn’t him.

Check out that last word balloon and note the big empty space between “a” and “monkey”. My “inside sources” tell me it was edited. The original dialog was “…on me like Les Moore turning a tragedy into a masterpiece…”Lisa’s Trilogy”, available wherever books are sold!” but Comics Kingdom thought it was a little too blatant, so they went with his second choice, “monkey on a cupcake” instead. “Funky on a cupcake” would have been funnier.

Your Aim Will Help

Link To Today’s Strip

Not only does this one have absolutely nothing to do with anything that came before it in this arc, it also creates some really disgusting mental imagery I really could have done without. What kind of person would visit their spouse’s job and say something like this? I think he tries to aim for “quirky and adorable” with Jessica but honestly, she seems more troubled and deranged than anything else, at least to me.

Weren’t Ann and Skyler involved in this arc for a while there? Where’d they go? Is Jessica really suggesting that without a woman around her husband, Pete and that weirdo Chester would wantonly urinate all over the bathroom floor? Are we to believe that no one cleans the AK building? Who spends time worrying about the restrooms at their significant other’s job? If this kind of thing is indicative of what BatHack has left in his already bone-dry tank, he should consider writing the rest of FW’s run now, before it devolves even more, if that’s even possible.

Something With You

Link to today’s strip.

I can’t process Dullard’s sentence in panel two.   It’s really awkward, and sounds like “Is it…your shoes?  Is it a bug that landed on your…shoulder?  Is it a bum sitting next to you?  Is it your iPhone?  IS IT YOUR MINECRAFT ACCOUNT?!?”

I assume he means “Are you in the emergency room because you are experiencing an emergency?” or shorter,  “Is it you?”  But, “Is it you?” would leave an awful lot of white space for a word balloon drawn a year ago, and I have to guess that this would be one thing that Tom Batiuk would feel embarrassment over.

Honestly, though, he really should feel embarrassment over the last panel.   Dullard flies into a frenzy over learning that his child is in the emergency room– this is a natural reaction that any parent would have.

But any natural parent would have checked in on his offspring sometime in the last few months.  A good parent would do this daily, at the very, very least.  Instead of sweating over the cover art for the latest issue of The Inedible Pulp.

What I’m saying is that Dullard should slash his wrists and bleed to death…not so he can save his child, but so that the next Rip Tide – Scuba Cop can have realistic blood in the water.