Hypermortality.

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All Hail! Here is the beloved Holy Ghost of Dead St. Lisa! Once again haunting a charity function in her honor. But this time she has company. Their horrible dialogue in the first two panels is supernaturally banal. The only interesting thing about what they’re saying is that the lines seem all out of order. SEEM.

Until you consider what we’ve seen of Funkyverse’s afterlife. Masky McDeath comes and reaps you, sure; separating spirit from body. But the multiple ghost appearances, by multiple characters, in the strip suggest a soul remains on Earth. Drifting through the physical world, fully conscious of what is going on around it, and tied to objects and family it was close to in life: Dance hall railings, benches, comic covers, bio-sons. It only makes sense that the spirits beyond would introduce themselves to each other by explaining what in the physical world is their current tether.  What goes on in the real world has the power to please or distress them. Like ancient pagan ancestor worship, the memory offerings of their progeny please their departed souls.

Which is why it is HILARIOUS when Phil learns that the precious comic covers he kept framed on his dinky apartment wall all those years, and then willed to someone he thought would treasure them and his memory forever after his death, were instantly liquidated to enrich the memorial of a woman who didn’t give two shits about stupid disposable funny pages. Silly man, you thought you had a LEGACY? The Death Cult of St. Lisa devours all offerings!!!!

Do Ya Think I’m Altruistic, Baby?

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No preview…stay tuned. My guess: Boy Lisa drops by one of Les’ “Lisa Trilogy” book signings to drop off the Batom Comics covers for the big “Lisa’s Legacy” cancer charity auction while wearing a Kent State sweatshirt and everything at long last comes full circle.

UPDATE: There’s a lot of information packed into this little gem. I got the impression that Phil was bitter and angry, mainly by how bitter and angry he was acting, but today Boy Lisa verifies it. What a surprise, as the usual one-shot FW character is normally all full of rainbows and light and all.

Then things take a typically sappy turn as Darin’s Lisa “gosh darn helping people” gene kicks into overdrive which, strangely enough, sends Jessica into another craven display of wanton desire, this time sexual instead of financial. Man, this woman is just a ball of “help me I never signed up for this” energy, isn’t she?

Better By You, Better Than Me

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Speaking for myself, Boy Lisa’s annoying insistence on referring to Lisa as his “mom” is nothing short of infuriating. Lisa was not Darin’s “mom”, his mother is named Ann and she’s currently back in Westview caring for his father Fred, who suffered a stroke on the crapper a few years back. Let me tell you, the way he took his misery knife and carved up those two characters was one of the cruelest things he’s done in Act III and all of it after Ann single-handedly scored Summer her championship too. The stroke, the loveless sham marriage full of unfulfilled dreams, the weird half-sister, Darin’s sudden embrace of Saint Lisa as his “mom”…he went all-out on the Fairgoods.

BanTom’s barely-disguised disdain for adoption in general aside, what a laughable piece of claptrap this is. Sure, this husband, father of a young child and sole provider has a hefty windfall plop right into his lap and his first thought is Lisa…come on already, Tom, knock it the f*ck off.

WorthJess Gesture

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No preview today…deal with it. My best guess: it’ll continue to feature the perpetually useless Boy Lisa and his equally annoying pal Pete slobbering over those stupid Starbuck Jones covers that no one on earth cared about as recently as a day ago. The history of SJ is so convoluted at this point it’s beyond rational explanation anyway, so sure, the covers are actually rare national treasures now. Whatever.

Update: Phil Holt died for these jerk-offs? A completely disinterested Jessica (who could blame her at this point) yawns at the garbage her husband keeps dragging into the house. Then upon realizing that Darin’s latest comic book crap could possibly generate a nice cash windfall for herself, she lights up in one of the more grotesque displays of sheer wanton greed I’ve seen in this comic strip since, well, since yesterday, when Pete actually expressed envy over not receiving a dead man’s possessions. What the f*ck is wrong with these people?

Holting On To The Past

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RIP Phil Holt, the latest FW character to sadly bite the dust. Well, at least he didn’t suffer. Apparently he had no family or friends, so he bequeathed his career-defining original artwork to some jerk he bummed a ride from a few months back. Too bad Phil didn’t own a pizzeria too, as then EVERYTHING would finally be going Boy Lisa’s way.

Pete’s reaction here is totally baffling. “I would have appreciated them too”…what? Is he being hypothetical and merely commenting on how awesome they are or is he expressing jealousy, like he wishes Phil would have left HIM some original artwork too? Either way he looks like a dick, as most normal people in his position would probably say something like “holy shit, Phil Holt died and left YOU his career-defining original art???” or something like that. Or maybe express some sadness about the news, you know, like normal people would. And these nitwits are his FANS, mind you. Imagine what Phil’s enemies must be saying about him right now.