The Bedside Manorisms – Page 7

The Sun Ain’t Gonna Shine Anymore

I hope none of you are fans of the blues or rockabilly, because you’re about to watch the things you enjoy become tainted with Harry Dinkle, and you’ll never get any pleasure from them again. I’m guessing Batiuk took a vacation to Memphis recently, and we’re all going to pay.

I don’t know what kind of a monster that is in panel one, but it appears to be wearing Mort Winkerbean’s skin. What godawful drawing–Burchett should be ashamed. Contrast that with Dinkle’s face in panel two–he gets the full “handsome” treatment, as well as a little action whip-around.

By slicing out a quarter of Mort’s face–

–he actually looks like a person. I’d like to think that Burchett drew him more like this, and Batiuk said “Damn it, Burchett, how dare you draw any character other than Les, Dinkle and Lisa as a normal human being!! I want all those sons-o-bitches looking like a non-human monster! Just like all the women should be fat and frowsy with Muppet faces!!! Do you like getting paid?! Cut it up and do it over!!”

What a loathsome thing Dinkle is–as I’ve said way too many times, of all the cast in this miserable comic, Dinkle is the one I hate the most. He always triumphs, he’s always praised, and always beloved. He’s one of the reasons this strip will never be noteworthy.

Making It Funnier

Link to today’s strip.

I bet you thought I made a major mistake yesterday, in making a “Friday” joke about Thursday’s strip. Well, after experiencing a series of unfortunate events yesterday (I’ll just hint with a number: $609.00) I’ll admit I was a bit rattled and might have been convinced it was already Thursday, since my brain function was off-line. And I made a joke about an unavailable strip.

(Today’s strip is also unavailable, by the way.)

But then I got to thinking – what would Tom Batiuk say if someone asked about his lapses in continuity? You know, the fate of Becky’s mother, Marianne Winters-hot star or naive waif, etc etc etc. There are a lot of them. Or how about his lack of jokes? You know, the funny part of a comic strip.

And I’ve come up with a Batiukian Excuse. See, the reason that continuity is non-existent and the jokes have moved to a better neighborhood is that it makes the strip more interactive with the reader. When the reader can supply continuity, it stimulates his imagination and makes him a part of the creative process, thus making him more involved with the strip. Similarly with the jokes–when the reader can make up his own, he’s invested in the success of the strip. It all makes perfect sense.

So, for me posting a Friday joke on a Thursday, it “jolts” the humor, it makes it more interactive and creative. Making it funnier.

Or, I could have just been a dumb-head. It won’t have been the first time.

PS: Has anyone noted that the last two weeks were all about band funding? And the week before that was the Lisa auction? Then we had Phil getting fired. But the week before that was the Les Book Tour. This strip is nothing but hucksterism non-stop.

The Strip is Funky Winkerbean. My Name’s Friday. I’m Not Available.

Daa…duh-duh-duh!

Link to today’s strip.

The story you are about to read is dull. The jokes have been redone to protect the humorless.

It was Friday, November 30, 2017 in Westview. The weather was gloomy and morose, and the forecasts were “You may only have weeks left.” The outlook was grim that day, but it had been grim for over ten years, ever since Lisa, so folks were out doing their usual thing. I was there to make sure no one got too excited…or did anything exciting.

The boss’s name is King Features. My partner’s name is Rick Burchett.

My name’s Batiuk. I carry a felt-tip.

Daa, da-da-duh-DAAAAAA…!

Independence Day – Resurgence

Link to today’s strip.

So, as some commentors have noted, Indiegogo.com isn’t a Batiukian aberrance like “Fakebook” or “Fleabay” but an actual crowdfunding site, so I’m not sure what they’ve done–good or bad–to fall under Tom Batiuk’s scrutiny. A quick visit to their website and to their Wikipedia page shows that they’re mostly involved with technology, and have had a certain degree of success in that area.

They don’t seem to do much on artistic stuff, though. Didn’t see any musicians or bands in their catalogue of successes, though to be honest I, in a Batiukian mood*, didn’t really dig very far. Given the focus of this strip, with its childhood wish-fulfillment arcs and real-life shout-outs to obscure pals, it would not surprise me to learn that Indiegogo helped out some personage from Tom Batiuk’s past and he felt the need to give them a bit of grudging credit.

Either that, or, what appears most obvious, they paid him to run an ad. (Eyes heavenward) It pains me sore to think that Tom Batiuk might have stooped to commercial considerations, rather than stumble evermore upon the “awards” path.

*That should definitely be the title for the second Bedside Manorisms’ CD – “In a Batiukian Mood.” Can you just see the frowning tiki sculptures on the cover, along with a thoughtful Les Moore portrait and titles like “Sleeping Cancerous Village,” “Carcinomica,” “Seaside Melancholy,” “Running Along the Shore But Hating It,” “Don’t Mind the Tumors,” and of course, the focus of the whole LP, “Pulitzer Award Ceremony Anticipation.”

Candy Crush

Link to today’s strip.

So, the evil internet, with its Twitter Tots, Internuts and beady eyed nitpickers has come to the rescue of the Bedside Manor oldsters? I wonder what changed in Tom Batiuk’s worldview, to admit that the internet actually has some use… No, not really–actually, I wonder how we’re going to be shown what didn’t change, as we watch the oldsters fall victim to web hucksterism, and see their accrued cash disappear into some bitcoin Hell, along with their crushed dreams of release from Dinkle. Dinkle, of course, will be there, smirking to beat the band (yes, that’s intentional) and telling them how he knew this was going to happen. But while he is a god of wrath, he can be merciful. All they have to do is put themselves back into his hands. There’s still time to sell band candy, he’ll purr.

…you know, I may have been doing this Funky Winkerbean commentary thing way too long. The idea of something genuinely positive happening to someone other than Les Moore–that idea seems to automatically reject itself. The fact that it was the oldsters themselves who came up with this scheme, and NOT Harry Dinkle, seems to doubly condemn the oldsters to the sourest of outcomes.

I honestly had no idea that cynicism, by which I mean my cynicism, could be this deep, and this broad. It’s no wonder I paint nothing but skulls, lately.

Speaking of which, does anyone know who “Connie” is? I assume she’s the drummer, but I get lost when the characters here are only named when medical emergencies prevent them from doing their due Dinkle diligence. I do know one of them is named Carl, but only because he was a wuss and nearly died.

Oh, well…at least Tom Batiuk ended this one in two frames, because it looks like Mort/Violin player are starting to get a bit randy in panel two, and that’s rather more than I need to see. It doesn’t help with the cynicism thing at all.