the internet – Page 10 – Son of Stuck Funky

The P(ure) BS Model

Add PBS to the list of things in Ban Tom’s shaky and off-kilter gun sights. What, did they do a “Comic Strip Writers Who HAVE Won Pulitzers” roundtable discussion recently or something? Anyway, they’re actually not very similar at all, as PBS provides hours and hours of entertainment while Buddyblog consists of a few assholes sitting on the floor and a wildly smirking weirdo chuckling to himself like a moron after every idiotic self-deprecating comment about what a joke his business is. Send Spencer to Westview and the integration would be seamless, I’ll tell you what. It really is uncanny, he could walk into Montoni’s right now and hold his own with any of them.

TheAuthor’s personal grudges aside, it’s same old-same old today as he bludgeons the premise into the ground once more. These Internet start-up punks are a bunch of dopey jerks with no “business model” other than mooching and yadda yadda yadda what choice does Cindy have anyway because she’s old and faded and etc. The only real question is how long will it take for this to play out? Does he wrap it up by Sunday or does it carry over for another (ugh) week?

Sweaty Work

Ew, Cindy, get a towel! No one reading today’s strip saw you walk in from the rain so it looks like you’re sweating like a racehorse while heaving your chest and panting at Funky. It’s not a good look for you. It’s not a good look for anyone. And with Funky’s stupid answer that would have me back out the door and into the snowy–err, rainy generic Westview day.

O Come Let Us Adore Cory

Sigh. Gonna tread lightly today. After all, it’s Christmas. I sense that many if not most of you reading this are boomers like myself, which makes us close in age to Funky and the gang. Hence, we’ve watched Mom and Dad grow old, and maybe one or both have passed away. And many of our first and fondest memories, especially today, are of our parents. So while I have a beef with how Batiuk uses Pa Winkerbean as a prop rather than a person (another character whose name we’re never told), this one does tug a bit.

While it’s impossible to read Pa’s expression here, one thing’s for sure: Army life seems to agree with Cory. He appears relaxed and smiling, his unruly hair now shorn “high and tight” and his Wilma Flintstone necklace presumably replaced by dogtags. I’m wondering if in the coming year he’ll have an arc devoted to his life as a soldier, or if he’ll simply live on as a face on Skype.

Wishing you the happiest of holidays

and the brightest of new years! Stay Funky!

—TFHackett

Peter Out

OK, so Darin and Jessica had been living at the Taj Moore-hal while Les and Summer were in Africa, meaning Les’ OCD episode was totally pointless. Today Darin, the web and wireless app maven must borrow the work computer to search for an apartment. In bursts Pete to inform his landlord that, after much soul-searching and careful deliberation, has decided he must tear himself away from his friends and his hometown to go and be among the backstabbing dirty dealers Back East. Rather than offer Pete their best wishes and tell him how he’ll be missed, Funky and (Pete’s best friend) Darin only care about how this benefits them. They don’t even try to conceal their glee over Pete’s imminent departure.

Something Wiki This Way Comes

Les’ verbal caning of Owen continues, as does Owen’s dim perception of right and wrong. To quote the late John Wayne, “…it’s gettin’ to be re-God-damn-diculous…” It’s bad enough that TB revisits the topic of internet plagiarism again and again. But he compounds the monotony with four consecutive days of sputtering Les setting up Owen for an unfunny “punchline”.