Epicus Doomus

Just Shut Up And Run

God this is making me ill. The only “blister” Dick Facey is going to get is on his wildly flapping gums. Why is he narrating this, the annual cancer fun run been going on for YEARS already and everyone in that town knows every square inch of that crappy park. Unless it’s a different park, as everything is totally unclear and vague as usual.

“And this is Lump Lane, where Lisa found her cancerous tumor.”

“And this is Puke Path, where she got sick after her first cancer treatment.”

“And this is Sorrow Slope, where I cried after Lisa died.”

Enough already. It’s a small town charity cancer fun run, not a Civil War battlefield. At least Ghost Lisa is absent today, perhaps a parks department leaf blower wooshed her away or something. And a single-panel job on a Wednesday? I mean if the story is THAT thin already why even bother?

Adjectives Are Really Good!

Link To Today’s Strip

I thought he wasn’t going to be in the annual cancer fun run? Can’t anything EVER be clear with this comic strip? What a nauseating display, just repellent. Unimaginative and stupid too. “Great”…”amazing”…it’s a charity fun run people, not a pizza app or breakfast pizza or a comic book. “Adequate”…”sufficient”…”serves its purpose”…THOSE are more apt ways to describe it. The fun run, I mean, not the strip itself, which is a totally ghastly piece of crap.

It’s Grrrr-Ate!!!

Link To Today’s Strip

Special thanks to Charles for a fantastic debut and the rest of Team SoSF for just being you!

If only Les could find a way to do his book tour DURING the annual cancer fun run, then EVERYTHING would FINALLY be going his way! That way he could still Lisa his Lisa while simultaneously Lisa-ing. While there’s nothing really wrong with BatNom using FW to promote himself like this it might be a little more…uh…”interesting” if he wasn’t so obvious and ham-fisted about it. “These new Lisa’s Legacy shirts are GREAT! Machine-washable and no more nipple-chafing either!”.

It’s sort of tough to really viciously snark on a charity cancer fun run, but every time I read the words “Lisa’s Legacy” I can’t help but think to myself that “Lisa’s Legacy” is really just a bunch of totally insufferable comic strips, as she wasn’t even a real person. A few years of Lisa sitting under a tree and calling Les “Spanky” followed by a decade of strips featuring Les talking about it is not exactly a “legacy”, unless you happen to be one of those people who assigns vast importance to obscure mundane things. You know who I mean.

Still though, I really want one of those “Lisa’s Legacy” T-shirts, as IMO not enough people look at me quizzically these days. My ultimate SoSF dream is to attend a Batiuk book signing, ask him a bunch of questions about obscure FW characters (“whatever happened to Mooch?”) then hand him a FBOFW collection to autograph.

Wait Til Next Year

Link to today’s strip

Well, given how he spent sixty years doing absolutely nothing, I can definitely see how sitting behind a big table while other people talked probably WAS the most “grueling” thing he’s ever done. The bar is set pretty low there, after all. Once again we see that Marianne’s retcon from “buxom box office-bursting sexpot” to “haplessly naive innocent waif” is complete, as she continues to oooh and ahhh over basic movie promotion duties. All in all it’s a typical FW “blow off”-type strip featuring the usual gang of idiots grinning idiotically, as if I expected anything else.

Well, as thrilling as Comic-Con was, it’s time for me to step aside and hand things off to billytheskink who’ll no doubt get some REALLY compelling FW material to work with…as if. Just remember, as bad as whatever just happened was there’s always something worse right around the corner.

Take My Sanity! All Of It!

Link to today’s strip

Yay! Comic book geeks are SO STUPID…amirite? It’s all about the Benjamins…or in this case, the Washingtons and Lincolns. The Cartoon Conan-led Q&A session appears to be over, thank God, as we’re finally at long last almost at the point where the characters will begin to discuss the possibility of the SJ movie eventually someday being released, eventually. And I, like all FW readers, am SO STOKED to hear the various characters talking about how great the unseen movie was before they return to filming more and more and more of them, over and over and over again. Yay!

I’ve always marveled at the way BatNom always includes just a touch of cynical disdain toward everything he loves. Writing and marching bands are torture, comic book collectors are weirdos, Comic-Con is packed with oddballs, Montoni’s pizza isn’t very good, the band box never works and so on. Like today, he can’t just wrap up the SJ Q&A panel on a solid upbeat exciting note, he had to take the time to remind everyone that at the end of the day it’s merely all about money. It’s like he just can’t help himself, there always HAS to be another shoe involved, it always HAS to end on a downbeat note. Sure, it’s just a dumb failed gag in a dumb failed comic strip but still, it’s so predictable and weird.