A Breef Encounter

What’s better than four white saviors?  Five white saviors of course! That’s the gist of today’s strip, it seems… as *groan* Amicus Breef emerges from the walk-in freezer brimming with fantastic legal advice such as talking to Adeela.  Preferably by phone, no need to go down to the clink and talk to her in person if you can help it, right?  I mean, jails are full of criminals after all and you can’t be too careful.

Oy!  Amicus Breef?!  Amicus?  Stupid punny names are nothing new for this strip, but they usually at least involve a first name human beings might actually have.  Well, at least he works in a profession relevant to his stupid punny name.  What if Mason Jarr(e) was really into making homemade preserves or holding iced tea at restaurants known for their cucumber salad, or if Cliff Anger was actually a solo climber?  Or what if Ruby Lith’s job was to illustrate schlocky no-budget Silver Age comic books?  Oh wait…

Dude, where’s my car?!

After spending more than a month on this insipid story arc and these irritating characters, today’s strip offers some much welcome relief… I’m speaking, of course, of the Green Pitcher, far and away the best character in Act III Funky Winkerbean (and probably Acts I and II as well, to be frank). By the way… hello there, I’m billytheskink and I’m… uh, I guess I’m going to talk about the Winkerbeans as they talk about Adeela.

FASCINATING! (In my best Merv Griffin voice)

More interesting than Funky’s understandable concern for his restaurant’s assets or the icy glares of his family members is his continuing transformation into Gasoline Alley mainstay Slim in both attitude and appearance. Less interesting, of course, is Wally’s inability to use his phone to tell Funky that Adeela’s arrest had to do with her (mistaken) immigration status.

Bring The Funk

Link To The Sunday Strip

Funky is by far the Most Powerful Man In Westview…a pizza kingpin AND chairman of the local chamber of commerce…so if anyone can get ol’ Adeela out of this pickle, surely he can. Guffaw. And getting that busybody Holly involved guarantees she’ll play some vital role in all of this. Maybe next week he could get Morty and Funky’s mother-in-law involved too. Weren’t they a thing a few years back?

I’ve just about had it with Adeela, Wally, Rachel and the whole damn lot of them so it’s time to turn this plodding exercise in time-killing over to our resident Funkstorian, billytheskink, who’ll be steering you through both the jailhouse visit AND the week where they all talk about the jailhouse visit. This one is even worse than the tornado siren arc and it might even turn out to be longer, which just boggles the mind.

Deportation Orders Don’t Upset Us!

Link To Today’s Strip

Mistaken identity, the cold unfeeling hand of law enforcement and government red tape, the forces of The Universe constantly conspiring to destroy the spirits of the little people…(zzzzzzzzz).

Oh, where were we? Oh yeah, Adeela got arrested and they’re going to deport her immediately unless…(zzzzzzz). Oops, sorry, that keeps happening for some reason. Methinks this ponderous story might have a wee bit more “impact”, let’s say, if I or anyone else actually gave a shit about Adeela and her sad cadre of annoying Montoni’s pals. But we don’t and it doesn’t. Like every Act III prestige arc, it has all the impact of a soggy paper towel landing in a wastebasket and unlike the soggy paper towel you don’t even get the satisfaction of making the shot when you toss it in.

Coming soon: Adeela continues being worried. The Gang continues to be concerned. Someone tries to help but is thwarted by The Universe, then someone else somehow saves the day. Pizza is served and consumed and smirks are exchanged.

Development: Arrested

Link To Today’s Strip

Looks like they were going to see some weird foreign film. Anyhow, today we see a desperate and frightened Adeela reach out to the only person who could possibly help…Wally. Yep, this should end well.

Why is Rachel smirking at Buddy like that? She’s a real odd duck, that one. And check out Buddy, it’s like he KNOWS there’s trouble. What a good boy.