Both Cory and Rocky seem to have gained the ability to reshape their noses in today’s strip, presumably as a part of their 5 second “acclimation” to returning to the United States from deployment.
If only our real servicemen and women could acclimate so easily upon returning home. If only.
Does today’s strip have some meaning beyond the desire to take a nice hot shower after a long and dirty trip? Is it some commentary on the previously unknown but particularly grimy nature of Afghan soil? I have no idea, so I’m just going to tell some old car jokes at the expense of today’s most prominent feature, the Batiukmobile®.
How did Funky double the value of his Batiukmobile®?
He filled up the gas tank.
How did Funky double the weight of his Batiukmobile®?
He sat down in the driver’s seat.
Funky walked up to the counter at the local Western Auto and said “I need a new set of wiper blades for my Batiukmobile®.”
“Throw in $20 and it’s an even trade” replied the store clerk.
Did you know that the Batiukmobile® has one of the industry’s best front-impact crash test ratings?
The tow truck takes the brunt of the impact.
You can buy a Batiukmobile® in any color you want, as long as it’s teal.
99% of all Batiukmobiles® ever built are still on the road.
The remaining 1% were able to make it to the repair shop.
What’s the difference between a hard-working, intelligent individual and a Batiukmobile®?
A hard-working, intelligent individual will get driven out of Westview.
Guest Page Turner Author
September 7, 2015 at 11:30 pm
Crazy Harry, the downsized mailman from her Dad’s peer groups, is the one to digitize these tapes? The man who works in a comic shop, worships 1950s Bandboxes, and seems to have all disparage for any technology beyond 1975?
So many questions! Here’s mine: has Summer even approached Crazy Harry about “converting these tapes to video” (and you mean “converting to digital”, sweetie; they’re already video)? Or does she plan on just strolling into the Komix Korner with the Sacred Box o’ Tapes and bid Crazy get busy? Readers know that this box–and it’s just one box, not a steamer trunk?–contains hour upon hour of Lisa lectures: is Crazy Harry getting paid for this task? “Psh!” says Les. “Are you kidding?” Who would decline such an honor? He’ll do it and be damn glad about it too!
Kids these days, with their shenanigans and whatnots! If it’s not gluing a quarter to the floor it’s vandalizing a car like in today’s strip. Nothing says light-hearted mischief like a $2200 detailing bill. What’s next? The classic “lit newspaper in the mailslot” trick?
Woohoo! Go Seniors!
Link To Today’s Silliness
Uh, no Les, you moron, it isn’t really a “long story” at all. Cindy is out in La-La Land Buddyblogging and boinking Mason Jarr, so she couldn’t do it. That’s it. One sentence. And why the f*ck is he sulking again already? He did nothing, Bull just pulled his ass out of the fire and exactly one second later he’s pouting and moping again. What. A. Dick.
“Why sure, Les. I’ll screw over the kids in my basketball camp so you don’t look like a complete moron! Their parent’s checks have already cleared!”. I think he would have agreed to just about anything there. “Why sure Les, you can use the gym for your gun show/pornography convention/legal highs symposium/wife’s funeral!”. I mean don’t they need to run this scheme by someone with a little actual authority in the school district? They’re always complaining about their budget shortfalls but they’re always playing fast and loose with WHS resources too. There’s a sort of arrogance about it all that probably explains why the Westviewian locals are always shooting down the school levy every year, you know? And that f*cking Les is almost always behind it all, too.
Coming next week: The anxiously-awaited reunion ends in tragedy as Mary Sue and Funky collide in a dimly-lit section of the gym and ninety-four souls are lost. The survivors envy the dead. An inquiry reveals that WHS’ liability insurance does not cover unauthorized gym events and the town is forced into bankruptcy. Bull somehow remains as athletic director, though.
Son of Stuck Funky 