As if none of us saw this coming. Kitch Swoon and that nice-sized check of hers are not destined to fill Skyler’s college coffers. Y’know, why not have Monday’s strip showing the gallery owner arriving at Atomik Komix and laying the check on Ruby? Then Batiuk would have another five or six days to tell an actual story. But I understand her delivering the check in person, given what we know about the Postal Service in Westview. This is the story, folks: let’s take this week to set up those starry-eyed fortysomething Fairgood “kids” for a little disappointment and humiliation. Darin has to lean back so hard against Jessica’s pushing that it looks like she’s got him on a handtruck.
Tag: Chester
Check Yo Self
Why the hell must Haystack Hair “sidebar” with Darin when the dude was standing right there?!? Check out Jessica’s narrowed-eyed, conspiratorial posture in panel one: with her left hand hooking the crook of dopey Darin’s arm, and her right palm downward, fingers spread in the “keep this on the low” gesture. Always with the dollar signs in her eyes, this Jessica: recall her (short-lived) giddiness over the dough that Darin would make off auctioning those Phil Holt Batom covers. At least Jessica is looking out for their child’s future…unlike Darin, who without so much as consulting Jessica decreed that all that Phil Holt money should go to the Lisa’s Legacy fund (which I’m only hyperlinking here because they finally fixed it so the URL doesn’t redirect and give you a dire-sounding certificate error).
Swoon at Noon
Last week’s running gag had Dinkle and Becky walking around reading signs. This week is shaping up to be a series of people letting themselves into the Atomik Komix office and being greeted with “Hey!” Superb draftsmanship today in panel 1: Kitch Swoon appears to be standing in the doorway of an airplane in flight, and Pete is so excited he’s morphed into Shemp Howard. Our colorist gives even less of a damn, leaving Ms. Swoon with white hair rather than the blonde hair she had when we met her last summer. At least Batiuk hasn’t altered or forgotten her name.
Silly monikers have been Funky Winkerbean‘s stock in trade for nearly a half century, from the title character and his friend “Less More,” to the late Coach “Jack Stropp” and forgotten teacher “Rita Wrighton.” These names were semi-witty, facile wordplay. But I’m at a loss to tease sense out of “Kitch [sic] Swoon.” She’s an artsy type for sure (she’s wearing a beret). Does she specialize in “tacky,” lowbrow, populist art? Does the sight of kitsch make her feel like she’s going to faint?
Wayhack Windbag
Link To Today’s StripAnd my super-sized guest host stint finally comes to a merciful end. What a garbage dump THAT was. There’s a good reason why we typically do two weeks at a time…simple human endurance. Stay tuned as billytheskink takes over for the first brand new story arc of 2020!
Chester Roasting On An Open Fire
Uh, correct me if I’m wrong here but that comic book has not been properly slabbed and bagged, which makes it WORTHLESS. Why, sometimes it makes me wonder if these idiots are really “comic book collectors” at all. At least BatBore acknowledged the already-established fact that Chester already has every issue of SJ ever, which was a major plot point way back when he still represented the evil side of comic book (sigh) collecting.
So, did Octoshark have a shark head and octopus tentacles or was he just an eight-finned shark? Because one of those seems sort of better than the other. In any event, maybe he could apply this premise to the other characters. Holly could give Funky a slightly sharper pizza-cutter, Les could give Summer a slightly less slovenly hoodie, Cayla could give Les a slightly more cancer-y cancer book and so on. The possibilities are limitless.
Son of Stuck Funky 
