real places in Ohio – Son of Stuck Funky

Sepia Superman

Independence Day went as well for me as can be expected. I woke up July 5th with the same number of fingers and toes I had on July 3rd, and even managed to keep both eyebrows! With the flags and the food and the explosions and the travelling across state lines to avoid taxes, I was patriotic to the max.

Batiuk’s done his share of flag waving over the years, with his cast carrying a healthy dose of veterans and military. Whether this springs from a genuine respect for US Armed Forces personnel, or is pandering is a debate for another day.

In May 2008, Batty uses Memorial Day as an excuse to remind his readers that YES he still hasn’t explained Wally’s abscence, and YES Wally is not here. But the bumper sticker dangles the bait that he is MIA rather than absolutely confirmed KIA. Dumb, pointless, bait.

*Crooked, but I guess it was hard to put on a bumper sticker with one hand…*

Becky has appeared on and off just about every month of Act III so far, but the last few months her appearances were all about the band. No kids, and no John.

T.C.I.F. Twisting Crankshaft Into Funny

Though you Beady-Eyed-Nitpickers have done a bang up job with your Cranky commentary this week, I promised you a weekly Crankshaft Post. So here it is!

Deja View Times Two

Funky Awards 2022 Coming Soon!

VOTING ENDS SATURDAY.

Today! The latest installment of the Funkyverse’s most exciting new game show, brought to you by Crankshaft!

Find! That! Line Art!

DING DING DING!

Tell our valiant players what they’ve won!

A Stroke of Luck

Obligatory link to Funky Awards Voting.

Link to post of nominees

Link to post of BEST STRIP nominees.

*Is this, like, commentary or something?*

This Sunday strip is, I guess, supposed to be ironic. Jessica still doesn’t know the kind of man her father really was. Although Jess had been talking about her John Darling documentary for years at this point.

*In April 2011 the part of Jessica Fairgood was played by a Sunday School puppet.*

Born To Be Mild

today

Once again, I’d like to sincerely thank all of our fantastic SoSF guest hosts, both past and present. The effort you all put into it didn’t not go unnoticed, no matter how awful the arc you got stuck with might have been. You were all anchors, lynch pins, vital cogs in the daily SoSF machine, and I’m going to miss dealing with all of you.

Sniff. The fact that Harley, which isn’t even his name, easily found work in a public school says plenty about the Westview Board Of Ed’s hiring practices, especially in the 1970s.

“Welcome to WHS, Mr. Gacy. Would you care to tell me a little something about yourself?”

“Well, I really like clowns.”

“Terrific! You’re hired! The mop and bucket are over there, and the children are that way!”

Some guy tells me his name is “Harley Davidson” and I’d be all like “yeah, and I’m Lamborghini Ferrari, nice to meet you”. The guy was literally running around “nudging” high school students for the purpose of having them breed. That aspect of this story is really downright creepy when you think about it. “I NEED to make the geek and the nebbish fornicate…but how??”. Shudder.

Great Moments In FW Arc Recap History

Sept. 15-27, 2014
Scapegoats Football! The team endure Bull’s haranguing on team picture day. Owen is pressed into service when the first the team mascot and then the ‘Goats’ wide receiver succumb to the flu, and scores a winning Westview touchdown in the unlikeliest of fashions.

Good ol’ Owen. At the time, it seemed highly, highly unlikely, but I’ve actually grown just a little nostalgic about Chullo Boy and his oily sidekick, Cody. I mean hey, at least they weren’t in their nineties, and had discernible personalities. Owen was kind of a dumb, greasy scumbag, and Cody was something of a pitiful pervert, which is a hell of a lot more than I could say about Flash or Phil or Ruby or Batton aka The Geriatric Patrol. It’s kind of hard to believe it was all that long ago. I don’t believe we ever saw Owen and Cody again after graduation, unless they popped up in the background of a Komix Korner arc or something. I wonder what became of them? I assume Owen is employed at a vape shop, while Cody is probably heavily into crypto and meme stocks. And Alex is surely employed at a seedy tattoo shop, somewhere on the edge of town, next to a massage parlor and, well, another vape shop. These are best-case scenarios, of course.