Category: Son of Stuck Funky

What I’d Really Like Linda Is To Borrow The Car Keys See Ya Later Can I Have Them Please?

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Hey, as much as I dislike FW I am a human being, dammit, with feelings and emotions like every other human being, dammit. I mean sure, I get it, Linda is struggling mightily with Bull’s declining cognitive function and his wild angry outbursts and it’s left her feeling distraught, helpless and alone. Man, this comic strip sure is a beam of sunshine, ain’t it?

But anyhow, what was I saying? Oh yeah, feelings and such. I mean as much as I’d like to sympathize with Linda’s plight, watching this play out with the melodrama followed by the inevitable sad little punchline is like being beaten with a big bag of pathos. The driving thing has already been covered, couldn’t he have found some other new way to emphasize Bull’s growing frustration and anger? I just wish something would HAPPEN already. I mean in the end it makes no difference, as The Great Author already ruined the story and all but still. Bull’s supposed to be “angry” all the time so let’s see some ANGER. Broken drywall, smashed trophies, Les getting the shit kicked out of him, anything but the same old car keys gag.

Rage Against The Wry-ing Of The Light

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I suppose one could make the argument that this installment does actually move the story forward, albeit very slightly. I mean one COULD make that argument, but let’s be real here…no one will. Anyhow the real issue here is the incredibly annoying way that Linda feels compelled to make these dumb feeble jokes to punctuate everything she says. An “anger board of directors”…yeah, hilarious. Would their also be anger stockholders who receive quarterly anger dividends too? It’s supposed to be a Very Serious story yet BatYak just can’t holster the wry wordplay for even a day. I mean come on, no actual people speak (or type or think) like this. What’s next, a gag about Bull being “tackled for a memory loss”? (If he uses that one I will demand compensation). It’s interesting how he supposedly DOES have an editor yet no one ever stops him and says “hey, maybe tone down the wordplay a little and just do some plain old dialog for once”. Sigh.

Fear And Self-Pity In Westview

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Uh, it’s called “moral support”, Linda. It “helps” you by connecting with others in similar situations. If the other people in the support group could magically help you, they probably would have already helped themselves too, thus they wouldn’t need a support group. See how that works?

Well, if you thought the Big Moment was coming anytime soon, guess again sucker, because it looks like we’re in for a week of typing. It’s typically Batiukian how Linda’s last-ditch Hail Mary plea to the NFL represented her last glimmer of hope, as in the Funkyverse it’s always something and it’s never, ever your fault. One thing I find baffling is how the entire town just totally deserted Bull after he retired. No one wanted to organize a fund raiser or help Linda mow the lawn? Could his multi-decade tenure as head sports coach and athletic director really have made THAT little of an impact? Wait…don’t answer that.

Coming tomorrow: FW at long last answers the question that’s been plaguing FW scholars since Darin found out the identity of his birth mother, that being is watching a FW character opening and reading mail more interesting, less interesting or equally as interesting as watching them type on a laptop computer?

Strange Matter

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A strange and sudden change of pace Sunday strip featuring no one’s favorite Komix Korner employees discussing the quantum properties of comic book or something…meh. Sometimes these comic book geek gags go right over my head and I’m not really in the mood to research this crap right now. Sure beats watching someone open and read mail, though.

Mail Day Part Six…The Repeating

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In case you missed yesterday’s strip, Linda has at long last opened the mail. And, as a helpful service to his loyal readers who he obviously respects and adores very, very much, he thoughtfully repeated the last two panels of yesterday’s installment in the first panel today! You know, just in case you happen to be a total idiot who can’t remember something you just read less than twenty-four hours ago. What a novel way to pad a story and make it appear to be much more substantive than it actually is. Sigh. Ten weeks. Sigh again. It goes from annoying to comical to annoying to comical over and over again.

Coming next week: After re-re-re-reading the letter fails to make the contents of said letter change, Linda elects to put the letter down and walk to another room of her house. Tension builds. Weeks pass. Nothing happens.