Tag Archives: Donna

Auld Lang Shite

What the hell is in that bottle? I thought Funky only “toasted” with real toast these days. Well, the last strip of 2015 will certainly lend credence to the “Tom Batiuk is trolling the hate-readers” theory. Why else would he have the titular character grinningly offer such a grim salutation, even ironically? And if Funky is trying to be funny, he’s the only one in on the joke; everyone else looks either surprised or dismayed.

To be fair, Funky’s entitled to his gloomy outlook. After all, Les has his inflated ego and submissive wife to indulge him. Crazy Harry’s underemployed and loving it. This year, Darin, Pete and Cindy all lucked into exciting careers on the West Coast, and Cindy (Funky’s ex-wife) is engaged to a movie star. Cory Winkerbean’s back stateside and is also planning to get hitched. Bull’s Scapegoats enjoyed a perfect football season. The only arcs involving Funky dealt with his sending Montoni’s band box out to be repaired, and having him relive the Montoni’s bowling team’s victory (a decade ago) over Crankshaft’s team. The rest of his life consists of running the pizza parlor, jogging with smug Les, chauffeuring Cory to and from the airport, doctor visits, and humiliation at the hands of his personal trainer. Our slow shuffle to oblivion indeed. Pick up the pace there, Funkman.

Well, dear friends, as 2015 draws to a close, please accept once again my well wishes on behalf of the team. Cheers and Happy New Year!

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Barry Bald-faced-liar-man

– Find and/or purchase salt. Box, canister, iodized, sea, it doesn’t matter.
– Take one grain of aforementioned salt
– Read today’s strip
– For best results, avoid repeating

Is this strip supposed to explain Les’ lack of interaction with young Lisa (or any of the Act I gang)? That he fainted and was unconscious during the whole interaction?
Probably, in which case there will be a new entry into the dictionary’s definition of “cop-out”, but we should give TB the benefit of the doubt until this is confirmed.

Either way, though, Barry Balderman is spouting some Barry Balderdash today. This is what happened to Les after her was told that the DJ bailed:

He stated his hate for Big Walnut Tech

He gave Cayla the “children left behind” death glare for making a good point

He broodingly mused on the origin of Crazy’s nickname

He saw the entire Act I gang appear out of the Time Pool

He had a staring contest with his younger self while Lisa looked forlornly at her replacement

He continued the staring contest in silhouette form

He watched the entire Act I gang prepare to get back in the Time Pool

He waddled through the background of a strip that appeared IMMEDIATELY before he was depicted as fainted and passed out

Are my eyes beady enough for ya?

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Pa-Loop-aville

Today’s strip brings up many Funkyverse Altering Questions (FAQ), which I will attempt to answer below.

So Young Crazy apparently lost/water-damaged the smartphone, is this TB’s cheap way of maintaining Act III’s status quo?
Yes. More convenient than a Neal Rubin Gil Thorp plot conclusion, isn’t it?

Shouldn’t I be asking the questions, not you?
Uh…

Does that badly taped sign in panel 1 say “Smew Reunion”?
Probably.

Is Les doing his trademark waddling off underneath the Smew Reunion sign?
Definitely.

Is that Donna, Holly, or Mary Sue looking over Crazy’s shoulder?
Good question.

Which words coming through the time phone in panel 2 are onomatopoeias and which are things Young Crazy is actually saying?
Judging by the lettering, “splash” is an onomatopoeia while Young Crazy is speaking “ooops” and “pa-loop”, both popular vernacular in 1978.

What hath Jobs (and Woz) wrought?
An immeasurable number of fictional computers made by parody companies named after produce (and at least one real-life example). “Pineapple” falls somewhere between Kumquat and Banana on the scale of bad to thoroughly terrible Apple parodies.

Shouldn’t Crazy have specifically told his younger self to buy Pineapple stock in 1996 or 1997?
Yes he should have, but because of his lack of specificity we were spared references to McHale Swindler and Bil Spamelio, which is a plus.

Into what liquid did Young Crazy accidentally drop the smartphone?
Search me… Maybe the Time Pool, though none of the gang looked wet after passing through it.

What did Crazy tell his younger self to do with the smartphone before buying Pineapple stock?
He, uh… Oh.
No.
Nononononono.
Sorry, FAQ over. I need to take a shower, followed by another shower.

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Roaming Charge of the White Decayed

Today’s strip indicates that some time about a year ago TB finally got around to seeing the closing scene of Disney’s 2007 hit Enchanted.

One could argue that Milton Berle stole jokes too, so who are we to judge. One could more successfully argue that Berle could deliver a stolen joke well. I could argue that Crazy’s square end tie looks stupid, and so I will.

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In which Bull is slow on the uptake

“D’oh!” mournfully Bull does not add after having failed to come up with a brilliant lie about why Old Lisa is absent from Not Her Reunion ([modified] panel 3)

“You’re going to get cancer, but you’ll have a chance to survive it if you make sure your clean bill of health is legitimate. You’re going to get a clean bill of health too soon because of a paperwork error. Here’s a copy of my book with all the important dates highlighted,” Old Les does not helpfully add, because he’s nowhere to be found and useful as a football bat.

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Bazoomba Class

SoSFDavidO here, limping through another blog post!

Riddle me this, Funksters! What took place these past for days that couldn’t have been done with ONE damn panel like the first panel in today’s strip?

I thought I liked comics. Now I’m not so sure any more. It’s like seeing a kid you can’t stand in school wearing a shirt with your favorite band on it. And that word, bazoombas. Somone hit me in the face with a frying pan, it’d be less painful than imagining Donna saying that.

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His Story

Full Retcon ahead! I’m sure Holly is sorry she ever asked about Donna’s video game triumphs back in the day. Oh wait, she didn’t ask. Still, we’re treated to a hot mess of retconning in today’s strip!

One does have to wonder where these photos have been hiding at Montoni’s this whole time, considering Batuik’s fondness for painstakingly drawing each and every tiny brick in a wall.

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Humor Eliminator

Placeholder post for night owls…

today’s strip!

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Ex-Men

SosfDavidO here, Guest Hosting for the week!

I actually won’t be able to get to today’s strip when it posts tonight but that’s not going to stop me from using this title in
today’s strip!

..and I’m back. I don’t even know what to say about today’s strip, it’s so mind-numbingly awful. There isn’t even a bad pun to call out. As someone pointed out, the idea that Donna just noticed the photo of her that’s been hanging up at Montoni’s since 1984 is ridiculous. What’s the point of this entire week? Girls like comics, and show their appreciation by cross-dressing as video game enthusiasts? My head asplodes.

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The Name Game

SosfDavidO here, Guest Hosting for the week!

We’re talking about comics here, right? Comics are little stories printed on paper that are told in serial format and sold monthly or told in daily strips. How did Donna leap from comics to video games in today’s strip?

Jeez Loiuse, how many topics are there to talk about in the Funkyverse? Comics, pizza, cancer, FaceSpace, Alzheimer’s and PTSD appear to be it. We *know* girls enjoy comics too, and though the fanbase isn’t nearly as large, the comic-based movies (Well, Marvel ones, anyhow) enjoy a large audience of men and women alike.

Do I even have to mention Comic Con? For crying out loud, girls are even cosplaying as Rocket Raccoon.

I don’t want to bash comics, as I liked them a lot as a kid, but I don’t think they’re quite as deserving as the reverence TomBat gives them. I mean, the whole Superman is Clark Kent without glasses thing could *only* work in a medium where characters are as one-dimensional as the paper they’re drawn on.

My protests are against a comic writer that wrote this over a year ago. I might as well be shouting at Judge Judy on the TV, it would do about as much good.

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