Holly – Page 28 – Son of Stuck Funky

It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is

While most of the now-reassembled idiocy of Winkerbeans mopes at a Pete-level in today’s strip, Holly is taking charge! How, exactly, she expects a photo of Act II Funky with the mayor of Centerville to help Adeela remains to be seen…

Before we get into the explanation for this bit of Batiukverse history, let’s take a minute to appreciate the magnificent uselessness of Amicus Breef, who today is repeating the exact same legal vernacular he spit out two days ago… like a 14 year old who just learned the phrase “subpoena evidence” and keeps saying it because he thinks it makes him sound smart. It has been some time since TB introduced such a remarkably incompetent character, which is saying something.

OK, now for the tale of the time Funky and his mullet met President Bill Clinton. It was the summer of 1993 and the Westview school district was facing its latest challenge in getting voters to approve yet another school levy (or “tax issue” as Fred and Nate referred to this one). Dinkle decided the best way to drum up support was to get the recently elected President Clinton to appear at a rally headlined by his WHS band. Being a well-known former band geek, the President actually showed up, endured the band’s performance, and finished things off by playing a saxophone duet with Dinkle. On his way out of town, President Clinton demanded pizza and Dinkle recommended Montoni’s. Thus:

Dinkle also gave the President a gift for showing up at the rally… *sigh* It was a box of comic books, of course.

A Breef Encounter

What’s better than four white saviors? Five white saviors of course! That’s the gist of today’s strip, it seems… as *groan* Amicus Breef emerges from the walk-in freezer brimming with fantastic legal advice such as talking to Adeela. Preferably by phone, no need to go down to the clink and talk to her in person if you can help it, right? I mean, jails are full of criminals after all and you can’t be too careful.

Oy! Amicus Breef?! Amicus? Stupid punny names are nothing new for this strip, but they usually at least involve a first name human beings might actually have. Well, at least he works in a profession relevant to his stupid punny name. What if Mason Jarr(e) was really into making homemade preserves or holding iced tea at restaurants known for their cucumber salad, or if Cliff Anger was actually a solo climber? Or what if Ruby Lith’s job was to illustrate schlocky no-budget Silver Age comic books? Oh wait…

Dude, where’s my car?!

After spending more than a month on this insipid story arc and these irritating characters, today’s strip offers some much welcome relief… I’m speaking, of course, of the Green Pitcher, far and away the best character in Act III Funky Winkerbean (and probably Acts I and II as well, to be frank). By the way… hello there, I’m billytheskink and I’m… uh, I guess I’m going to talk about the Winkerbeans as they talk about Adeela.

FASCINATING! (In my best Merv Griffin voice)

More interesting than Funky’s understandable concern for his restaurant’s assets or the icy glares of his family members is his continuing transformation into Gasoline Alley mainstay Slim in both attitude and appearance. Less interesting, of course, is Wally’s inability to use his phone to tell Funky that Adeela’s arrest had to do with her (mistaken) immigration status.

Bring The Funk

Link To The Sunday Strip

Funky is by far the Most Powerful Man In Westview…a pizza kingpin AND chairman of the local chamber of commerce…so if anyone can get ol’ Adeela out of this pickle, surely he can. Guffaw. And getting that busybody Holly involved guarantees she’ll play some vital role in all of this. Maybe next week he could get Morty and Funky’s mother-in-law involved too. Weren’t they a thing a few years back?

I’ve just about had it with Adeela, Wally, Rachel and the whole damn lot of them so it’s time to turn this plodding exercise in time-killing over to our resident Funkstorian, billytheskink, who’ll be steering you through both the jailhouse visit AND the week where they all talk about the jailhouse visit. This one is even worse than the tornado siren arc and it might even turn out to be longer, which just boggles the mind.

They’re Jewish, Get It?

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You know, last week after Batiuk went out of his way to make sure you knew the guys pulling the strings in Hollywood were Jewish, I wondered why Batiuk didn’t just have Bernie’s dad be an executive. And it sure looks like that’s where things are headed. Although it’s possible Batiuk just forgot Silver was Bernie’s last name. Someone last week stated that Batiuk clearly isn’t a racist. Maybe not, but the macaque strip and now two straight weeks of “Jews run Hollywood” don’t help things. I am very, very grateful Les never did take Cayla to China.
This might possibly be the least warranted “smug Les face” I can remember seeing. What is he so smug about? The fact that Mason has the gumption to ask for a cucumber sandwich? Baituk can’t even keep his own writing coherent. As was already pointed out, I really don’t think someone who seems to be set up as the equivalent of Chris Pratt or Tom Cruise would just sit quietly in a waiting room until someone gets around to see him, and I really don’t think Les should be shocked that Mason would ask for a sandwich.
This does carry on the long Batiuk tradition of people being smug jerks to people who’ve literally done them nothing wrong and are just doing their jobs, though.