Tag: smirk

Batiukruptcy

Today’s strip about Free Comic Book Day finally being over happens on the actual Free Comic Book Day. Makes sense…

What is DSH all consternated about? Money? Bankruptcy? As best I can tell, the only thing he paid for in this whole Free Comic Book Eon Day was transportation and insurance on Holtron. All indications are that Pete, Durwood, and Flash showed up as a favor. Mason definitely showed up as a favor. I’m pretty sure Les and “Batton” just showed up uninvited (Really, who would invite them anywhere?). Heck, based on what we saw, DSH didn’t even give out any free comic books. If buying pizza for eight puts Komix Korner into bankruptcy then it was going into bankruptcy within the month anyways and/or he never should have spent money on Holtron (though both crane rentals and multi-million dollar umbrella insurance policies can run as low as a few hundred dollars).

Maybe he was referring to how long this Free Comic Book Day thing has been going on, though I would argue we are closer to chapter 78 than 11.

Twenty-Four-get This Dreck

Oh hello Mr. Stock Male Nerd Cartoon #27 from 10,000 Clip Art Images ’98 CD-ROM (OS/2 Edition), glad you could make it to today’s strip. If you hadn’t shown up, Pete and Durwood might have had to twiddle their thumbs, and we all know how much they hate slacking off…

Y’know what’s really nerdy? Math! Let’s do some math. Lessee, it’s early May, so we’ll say Atomik Komix most recent issues were published in April. Here’s their titles that we know of and when we first see them “published”.

The Inedible Pulp – May 2018
Rip Tide: Scuba Cop – July 2018
Atomic Ape – September 2018
The Scorch – January 2019

Assuming one issue per month for each title, there would be 33 issues. Assuming a once every two months schedule there would be 17 issues.

The Inedible Pulp – 12 issues/6 issues
Rip Tide: Scuba Cop – 10 issues/5 issues
Atomic Ape – 8 issues/4 issues
The Scorch – 3 issues/2 issues

No math involving this strip or story arc equals entertainment.

Freecomicbookday, May 1

Today’s strip was not available for preview, so we’re diving into the archives. What was going on in the Batiukverse on May 1, say, 40 years ago? I’ll bet it was some relatable high school stuff: dopey students, stuffy teachers, Billy Carter, M*A*S*H, Galaxian, disco, the second oil crisis… something, anything far removed from this ridiculous multi-week Free Comic Book Day arc.

Or not…

FW5-1-79

Yes, the computer later known as “Holtron” temporarily replaced Les as Westview High School’s hall monitor, (retroactively cardboard) machine gun and all, because Les was so bad at the job. It mused about keeping Klingons from sneaking off to the restroom to smoke (Holtron was into Star Trek and, apparently, Brownsville Station) and threatened a hall pass-less Funky with the desk-mounted machine gun.  What a time to be alive.

Smirky Smirkybean

It is only at today’s strip where I finally realize the true meaning of Free Comic Book Day. I get it now. It’s not a day where free comic books are given out. No, it’s a rallying cry. A desperate plea. Comic Book Day must be freed from the clutches of these unbearable shmucks! Free Comic Book Day! And Free Holtron while we’re at it!

Also, Logan Church is here now. Such a sad turn for the once-accomplished business blogger. You could drive a semi-truck through her earrings.

Graphic Drivel

I know what you’re thinking, “How can today’s strip be any worse than this past week?”

Well, newsflash!

raph-itsworse

Les. The most dreaded name in the newspaper. The name that even alone evokes the most dire of thoughts. “Les” is the sound that a rattlesnake makes before it dies in a brush fire. It’s the Florida State Police code word for a sinkhole. It was the name of Francisco Franco’s pet canary. It is far and away the worst part of the title of Les Miserables.

I don’t know what possessed this poor poor child to wander near Les’ table, but I do know that if he winds up reading Lisa’s Story he is not going put it down disappointed that only one person dies. No, he’s just going to think that the wrong person dies. And he would, of course, be right.