Shrinky Dinks

Link to today’s strip.

As February dawns, the first strip of the month is not available for preview, but let’s be honest–Batiuk’s not going to cut away to something different, not when he’s got Dinkle to shove in people’s faces.   Those seemingly endless weeks where he craps out those terrible, terrible Claude Barlow witlessisms should be proof of that.

Yesterday, he wailed and moaned that he couldn’t find free food.  What could it be today?  Perhaps…his ass, with both hands?

I wonder if Beck will get any lines…so far, she’s only spoken on Sunday, and it was, of course, nothing but praise for Dinkle.  So, she’s really already played her part.  All that’s left is a praise reprise.

(GAH, sorry folks, that was almost Batiukian…surprising how easily one slips back into this stuff…)

 

You’ve Got Fail

Link To Today’s Strip

Slower than THIS?? Please, God, no. If he takes it much slower he might accidentally rupture time itself and send the Funkyverse slowly wobbling into some infinitely boring singularity. Which would probably be a real improvement over watching these two imbeciles pawing at that representation of pizza, now that I ponder it. I can’t wait until Boy Lisa finally arrives back at the humble Fairgood abode, reeking of pepperoni and all hopped up on iced tea and comic book dreams. I’m “sure” Jessica “won’t mind” if Darin doesn’t bother saving her a slice or two as after all, brokering comic book deals all morning can give a young guy just starting out quite an appetite.

Oh that BatWrite, always so topical. Looks like word finally filtered on down to Batom Inc. HQ that the kids today don’t really use the electronic mail so much anymore, what with the texting and apps and such. Thus it’s officially quaint enough for a FW character to use, like that arc a few years back where Funky finally screwed together the courage to turn off the Dolby on his 3 CD changer shelf system. What a memorable fourteen weeks that was.

“The one” what? The “one” that’s the lone female to tolerate his presence without reaching for the taser? The one girl he’s gotten to FW second base (hand holding) with? He should be drugging her and heading for the first available justice of the peace, not dilly-dallying around with Boy Lisa. Remember, this idiot is in his forties here. The odds on him snaring another movie house heiress are slim to none and she knows he writes comic books and she hasn’t run away yet so yeah, it’s safe to say she’s “the one” all right. And if this witty banter is any indication, their nine and a half year email courtship ought to be steaming up the comics page for years to come.

Check out Harry, loafing around while he’s supposed to be upstairs selling comic books. I sure hope John can handle the midday rush all by himself. Or maybe he’s just biding his time, waiting for them to finish eating so he can sidle up to them…”pssst! You guys wanna buy some comic books, man?”. I guarantee it’ll work, too.

Stairs Going Nowhere.

Comic Book Harriet here! And judging by this strip, I’m a very appropriate commentator for the coming week. I want to give kudos to poor Billy for last week’s run. He was dealt a terrible set of strips, and he was able to provide valuable context into just how freakin’ long Batiuk has been using ‘Dinkle Types His Stupid Book’ as a lazy repository for all bad band puns.

I’m sure that Tommy Boy thinks that he’s cleverly building up suspense here. Ooooooh he’s not letting us see the person who is so excited to be finding the Komix Korner for the first time! Who could it be? What drama will it lead to? Is it the long lost Afghani parents of Becky the One-Armed-Wonder and Dead Skunk Hair’s adopted step-daughter Rana? Who have just tracked the..bwahahahah… I can’t even finish that without laughing. Because Rana was dropped down the memory hole YEARS ago!

We do have to wonder why anyone ever, in the history of time, would have gone on an interet mission looking for Komix Korner.

Debt collectors.

It’s gotta be debt collectors.

Random

Today’s strip features the two dippy Crankshaft girls in a phone-related joke intended to show just how stupid the two of them are. It succeeds on that level, I guess. Otherwise, it’s totally unrelated to anything else in the strip. I guess it’s remarkable in one sense that it shows their father, but I don’t know enough about their appearances in Crankshaft to know whether he’s ever been shown in the past. I think their mom showed up at some point.

Have at it!