Darin – Son of Stuck Funky

Post Modern

I’ve been thoroughly enjoying all of you commenting on the shambling abomination that is Crankenstein’s Monster. It’s horror beyond imagination in the funny papers these days as Batiuk once again drags Lisa’s battered and abused corpse out to puppet around and demands Davis stitch it onto the recycled art patchwork of long dead gags that makes up modern day Crankshaft. Lisa Moore’s been more abused post mortem than poor Elmer McCurdy.

But at least when Les Moore does his dramatic dance of interpretive grief all over her grave, we know that Lisa is well and truly dead.

Wash Me and I Will be Pure

Has the purported privilege of your race, your culture, your gender, your sexual orientation, your socioeconomic status, or your occupation got you feeling the stain of social guilt? Does the comfort of your upper middle class existence leave your conscience dirty when confronted with bad news on the TV?

Well! Wash those feelings away in just a few minutes! Pull out your laziest soapbox, and purge your conscience. You’ll feel fresh, radiant, clean, and righteous, when you’ve washed yourself in the fountain of virtue!

White Rain! Cheap! Affordable! Easy! The preferred soapbox of old, white, middle-class, heterosexual men everywhere!

Reality Bites Back

I’M BACK, MY NITTERS!

And I’m, once again, asking for you to remember that VOTING FOR THE 2022 FUNKY AWARDS ENDS THIS WEEK. January 21.

That’s right my beautiful beady-eyed picker-pals! CBH has returned from her baby-dunking trip to the south, and is all puffed up on her new godmotherly authority! It was a very nice playing with the sister-spawn and various in-laws, and getting fed plenty of deliciously greasy southern hospitality. The only tiny rain cloud tacked to the silver lining is that I missed some great discussions. Beckoning went on an epic alcohol fueled Frankie beat down. Sorial got everyone dissecting time skips. Then Eldon of Galt popped out of lurker mode to talk about Re-Boot. And I MISSED IT. I can’t believe I missed talking about Re-Boot.

Family Reunion

VOTE FOR THE 2022 FUNKY AWARDS! I’M NOT JOKING!

Voting will continue through January 21.

If we do not get enough votes, I will do nothing but post current Crankshaft strips and describe what is happening in each panel in mind numbing detail! This is a very real threat I am more than prepared to follow through on.

For Example.

But You Don’t Really Care for Music, Do Ya?

The Duck of Death
December 19, 2022 at 8:22 am
Guys. Guys, is he gonna have the whole freakin’ cast from both comics in this church and pan over the crowd while the ensemble sings the Hallelujah Chorus?

Is this how it’s all gonna end?

baeraad
December 22, 2022 at 1:52 am
I… think Batiuk thinks he’s going for a heartwarming all-the-lovable-goofballs-come-together-in-a-church-on-a-snowy-Christmas-night sort of thing for his ending…

Sourbelly
December 22, 2022 at 10:56 pm
Batdick has spent days establishing the fact that every Westview citizen who matters is driving to the Jazz Messiah Nonsense in dangerous weather. He has spent zero seconds explaining why.

As confounding and confusing as this strip has been over these final months…you can’t say that a lot of effort wasn’t put into today’s strip, the last-ever Sunday panel of Funky Winkerbean. Nearly seventy people (and one cat) are packed into St. Spires. I was even able to recognize most of them…but there are a couple head-scratchers. Continue reading “But You Don’t Really Care for Music, Do Ya?”