Tag Archives: smirk

He’s Smirking Because He’s Got Speakerphone On, And Likes Humiliating His Daughter

Link To Today’s Strip

So apparently Rana can’t speak for herself, and Wally has to clear this with her mom, because she’s eight years old and not a grad student.  Wait, that’s not right.

I mean, why would Becky object?  It’s the first time in like ten years Wally’s even been aware he has a daughter.  Becky’s got to seize that moment while she can.  And this will allow her and John to have a romantic Thanksgiving alone.  Who am I kidding, of course it would be the two of them and Crazy Harry.

And it’s one thing for an individual to say that they personally are putting on the “freshman fifteen” (grad school fifteen is just lame and continues the long Batiukian tradition of thinking just switching two words is enough to be hilarious).  It’s another thing for Becky to “joke” about this totally behind Rana’s back to her dad.  It just comes off like complaining about her getting fat, which is laughable, but totally in line with the general mean-spirited nature of Batiuk’s strips.

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La-bored Set Up

It’s an attack of the SMIRKS in today’s strip! Let’s count em’.

FW-SmirkCount

1. Professor Forehead channels his inner and outer Les Moore.
2. STATE sweatshirt-wearing bunhead has changed into a purple top.
3. Young Kevin James or that guy from Smashmouth?
4. Cindy? Mindy? Sadie? Jessica? Anon-o-blonde? I’m going with Mallory Brooks, the world’s perfect genome…
5. When did Ed Grimley start wearing glasses?
6. Thatsnought Hewmore would be smirking if someone hadn’t given him the dreaded hatchet face.
7. Emily/Amelia cements her new class project partnership with a handshake and a side smirk.
8. Wally’s cheekbones decide that if his mouth won’t smirk, they will.

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Advise-a-Bull

One of the perks of being a retired Westview faculty member, I guess, is unfettered access to all areas of the campus. You’d think that an athlete who’s just set a new team record might be surrounded by teammates and well-wishers, but here’s #31 just sitting alone at his locker, still in uniform, savoring his accomplishment until Bull can manage to make his way down from the cheap seats.

“Have you got any advice for me?” Sure!

“Don’t take up tennis! You’ll need to buy two rackets!”

“Don’t take up jogging! You’ll keep running into Funky and Les!”

“Better get started on the Rogaine, your hairline’s receding almost as much as mine!”

 

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Impermanent Record

Today’s strip serves no purpose whatsoever aside from moving us one day closer to the end of this “story” arc, and to Funky’s 50th anniversary, and to Tom Batiuk’s retirement. Buck’s inane question receives an inane answer from Bull, and everyone smirks. I just can’t get over the fact that had Buck not invited the Bushkas, Bull would be sitting unawares in his basement instead of in the nosebleed seats as his decades-old rushing record is challenged.

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Rush to Judgment

Mighty white of Linda to allow Bull out of the basement in order to witness his rushing record being surpassed. “Buck never knew” Bull held the record, and yet showed up at Bull’s house when it was on the verge of being broken. I guess whoever succeeded Bull as Westview High’s football coach and athletic director “never knew” or “didn’t care” enough to consider inviting the Bushkas to be present for this occasion. We know Buck’s been (inexplicably) diagnosed with chronic traumatic encephalopathy, but has he also suffered a stroke? In addition to his absent-mindedness regarding Bull’s record, he’s talking out of the right side of his mouth.

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Dozebudd

It continues in today’s strip… “it” being history’s longest drive from Florida to Ohio. Or maybe it is a chronicle of the most unbelievably boring competitors to have ever taken part in The Cannonball Run.

I don’t know if this is the best of this week’s miserable set of strips or the worst. One one hand, everyone gets a rare moment of positivity: Holly’s mom is certainly enjoying her reminiscence of Holly’s childhood, Holly seems to be enjoying it as well, and even Funky is spared TB’s wrath for one panel. On the other hand, this strip also rips each and every one of those positive bits away because TB long ago decided that Funky and anyone in his orbit are not allowed to have nice things. Yep, this is the worst… nothing worse than a tease.

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Colors of the Chinned

Oh no. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no. No. Just no. Please no.

*Sigh*

Our greatest fears have been realized in today’s strip. Atomik Komix has become what the Starbuck Jones movie and Montoni’s were before it, a nepotistic cesspool that doles out jobs to whoever walks in the door. No interviews, no resumes, no HR departments, just a brief conversation and YAGOTTHAJOB!

Also, like Montoni’s, Atomik Komix has had to be kept solvent by the owner selling his own personal property. Not sure this would be an owner-approved hire in real life… but this isn’t real life, this is one quarter inch from it, so the joke’s on us I guess.

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