Tag Archives: Taj Moore-hal

Barf

Link to Today’s Comic.

Today’s strip wasn’t available for preview, so I stayed up till 11:30 central time pressing refresh waiting for this to drop.

And when it did drop…oh how it dropped…It dropped like a wet turd on a soggy carpet. Disgusting, toxic, waste contaminating an already blighted background.

The only joy I’m getting from this is the anticipation of all your comments on it. Attack! Like the Furies of old! Savaging those who defile honor, oath, and the natural bonds of kinship!

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Toy Suprise

Link to Today’s Comic.

Comic Book Harriet back again for another whirlwind adventure through the funny page’s most wry adventure. Thanks to Billy The Skink for easing us through another dull comic arc, this time compounded with sickening romance, subtle sexism, and the good old Westview Nepotism Mafia. (Kudos to whichever StuckFunkian coined that phrase.)

Now I get to enjoy some Les and Darin action, which always has a creepy vibe to it. Like at any second I could start hearing some ominous yet sensual music playing in the background.

One thing I’ve noted over the last couple weeks. Our ‘skilled’ artist has sunk to new levels of phoning it in by drawing eyes as nothing more than tiny dots with eyebrows in several panels, with none of the hint of upper eyelid seen in the usual ‘house style.’ I expect the strip is going to gradually morph into Sally Forth.

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Meh-Moore-ial Day

Big hat tip to billytheskink for a great fortnight of Funky analysis and haiku. And my eternal gratitude to the generations who’ve fought and died so that we might enjoy our liberty. We honor them today and every day.

From the FW blog:
As I discussed in a previous post, Batman animated artist Rick Burchett is coming on board at the end of this month to work with me on Funky.

So the Batiuk & Burchett era is underway, and if not for the tandem signatures on today’s strip, you’d be hard pressed to notice the transition. But let us, with our beady eyes, nitpick this panel by panel:

Les and Cayla celebrate the holiday at their wedding venue (outside the Taj Moore-hal). Les’ smug expression refuses to so much as wilt, even over a hot grill. Speaking of which, don’t those, um…burgers? look tasty?

Looks like Burchett got the memo about drawing bricks, although it’s a 2-D view and not a perspective rendering…but look how many he gets into that little space! ++++

Burchett’s depiction of outside corners on wooden siding, however, displays none of the verisimilitude of his bricks. Les retains his Paulie Walnuts hair color scheme, and is smirking hard enough to give himself dimples to rival those of TV’s Pioneer Woman.

I actually like this panel 3 tableau of the Moores looking into the distance; though if the perspective is true, Les’ giant wheelbarrow is leaning against his two-story garage. Apparently Westview and Centerville are separated by a lush, wooded shire (and of course, “ten or so years”). Notice Cayla, though: while she’s her usual, bland gingerbread cookie self in panel one, here Burchett has given her a perceptible backside and the appearance of hips. This gives me such hope.

While we can expect the draughtsmanship to marginally improve, Batiuk will still be the one “writing” the strip. So don’t get your hopes up over plotline hygiene, more humor, and less gloom: this is still Funky Winkerbean in the 21st Century. But even a little visual polish couldn’t hurt. Welcome aboard, Rick.

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Garage Schlock

In case you missed it:

7th anniversary contest continues! Post your entries as comments on Monday’s post.

From the FW blog: “I feel I should say something about some of the things being said about yesterday’s Funky Sunday…”

I have to wonder if today’s strip reflects the real-life goings on at Batiuk’s “Cartoon Castle”: the dutiful wife furnishing the “brilliant writer” with flattery and hot chocolate. Though he loves to lecture others about what it means to be a writer, when it comes to his own craft, Les tries and fails miserably at self deprecation. The clumsy perspective in panel 2 perfectly captures the true essence of Les, as his giant, swollen head threatens to overtake the whole room.

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The Cocoa in Cayla’s Cupboard

Girl, what took you so long? Cayla has finally had enough of fetching snacks to Les, who is busy “losing himself” out in the garage all hours of the day and night. Tonight, she will act. “I got your Hot COCOA mix right HERE MOTHERFUCKA

We interrupt today’s snark to bring you Son of Stuck Funky’s 7th Anniversary Contest!

Yes friends, April 9th marks the seventh anniversary of SoSF! Pats on the back all around, and a tip of the Funky fez to our esteemed staff of volunteers: senior partner sosfdavido, executive administrator epicusdoomus, and most esteemed editors beckoningchasm, billytheskink, oddnoc, and HeyItsDave. I’d like to raise a glass to the original stuckfunky whose concept I hijacked and carried on.

Yeah that’s great, thanks guys. Tell us about this Contest!

Don’t get too excited: first prize (the only prize) is your choice of 11 oz. mug from the Funky Winkerbean CafePress store! A $9.95 value, and I’ll cover shipping to your address (U.S. only). No more having to drink you coffee straight from the pot.

Right click to downloadHOW TO ENTER: I’ve taken panel three of today’s strip and Photoshopped out the “Hot Cocoa Mix.” What’s Cayla really got brewing for her man? Download and mark up the blank template to tell us.

Image editing skills/software not required!  If you have access to Photoshop, go for it, but you can use MS Paint, SnagIt, or a free online tool like BeFunky (!). Post your entry as a comment below: the doctored image whose comment receives the most Thumbs Up will be declared the winner. Voting ends midnight EDT Thursday 9PM EDT Wednesday and the winner will be announced Friday Wednesday night. TFH sez: I’ve opted to end the contest early as it looks like voter interest has peaked. See this post for the winner.

Thanks to every one of you for reading and commenting! Stay Funky!

Prize may not be substituted. Contest is neither sponsored nor endorsed by CafePress, Batom Inc., King Features Syndicate, or any other entity. SoSF staffers excluding TFH are eligible to enter and win.

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Monkey Winkerbean

Making their first appearance since January 2016 are Summer and Keisha. I’m sure the sounds of one-on-one basketball right outside his door do wonders for the terminally distractable Les’ writing process.

If “see you later, alligator” is good enough for Cliff and Vera, I don’t know why Les and Cayla feel the need to “update” it. Let’s not get started on Les calling his black wife a monkey. Instead let’s examine Batiuk’s tendency to take a feeble but acceptable joke and proceed to stretch it ’til it breaks. He could have left it at “they’re working on an update blah blah blah.” But, because it’s Sunday and he still has two panels to fill, he’s gotta drop in the stuff about going “viral” and “beta testing”.

It’s all well and good that Batiuk recruited a couple comic book pros to draw Crankshaft and Funky Winkerbean. But the draughtsmanship, maddeningly inconsistent as it is, isn’t the problem with these strips, it’s the writing.

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Conversion Therapy

Guest Page Turner Author

September 7, 2015 at 11:30 pm
Crazy Harry, the downsized mailman from her Dad’s peer groups, is the one to digitize these tapes? The man who works in a comic shop, worships 1950s Bandboxes, and seems to have all disparage for any technology beyond 1975?

So many questions! Here’s mine: has Summer even approached Crazy Harry about “converting these tapes to video” (and you mean “converting to digital”, sweetie; they’re already video)?  Or does she plan on just strolling into the Komix Korner with the Sacred Box o’ Tapes and bid Crazy get busy? Readers know that this box–and it’s just one box, not a steamer trunk?–contains hour upon hour of Lisa lectures: is Crazy Harry getting paid for this task? “Psh!” says Les. “Are you kidding?” Who would decline such an honor? He’ll do it and be damn glad about it too!

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The French Revolution

Link to today’s strip.

This actually isn’t bad, although it’s a bit stretched for a Sunday episode.  Credit where it’s due–Tom Batiuk has finally realized what an obnoxious a-hole Les is, so instead of having him deliver these puns, he has Cayla do it, where they are far less smirk-coated and can be appreciated (as much as puns can be, that is).   If the roles had been reversed, this would have been one of the worst strips ever.  The punchable smirk in the penultimate panel would have been woven throughout like a plague bacillus.

Mr. Batiuk even has Les accepting Cayla’s puns, instead of whineley squawking that all the attention isn’t on him.   He actually looks proud of her.  That’s progress of a sort.  Maybe Cayla will actually start to come into her own as a character.  (Doubtful, but who knows?)

The one puzzling aspect is Cayla’s expressions; she looks like she’s at a funeral.  Especially odd is her look in that penultimate panel.  But I think I’ve figured that one out.  Cayla is beginning to understand what it is to be Les Moore, spouting endless puns for approval, and it smells pretty bad to her.

In short, good one, Mr. Batiuk–thank you.

Don’t misunderstand–this is like finding a raisin in a bowl of rabbit turds.  You didn’t want a raisin anyway, and you’ve lost your appetite, but at least it is edible–unlike the rest of what’s in the bowl.

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Sure It Was, Mason

Link To Today’s Strip

I wonder how many years he’s been waiting to finally find an excuse to use that gag? Well done, BanTom, well done. And what’s the deal with that tiny dining room table? That whole town is overrun with leaves every year but there isn’t a single table leaf to be had. Go figure.

And what the hell is up with Mason’s rapidly-receding hairline? I thought he’s supposed to be some sort of Hollywood pretty-boy, so what’s with the enormous forehead? Come on, Batom, the guy’s only been in town for like a day, the effects wouldn’t be hitting him THAT quickly. He kind of looks a little like Andrew Jackson there in panel one IMO.

Their reaction to Mason’s joke is actually totally logical if you think about it. They sit there stunned upon hearing Mason’s joke because let’s face it, how many actual jokes do these people hear? It’s like if you visited some long-lost indigenous tribe in some remote rainforest and showed them your smart phone. They just can’t comprehend it fully, there’s nothing to compare it with. Then they burst into laughter as if his joke was the funniest thing they’ve ever heard, which it very well could be. And Les is totally devastated as he realizes his dumb puns and stupid bits of wordplay will now be held to a whole different standard. So the whole thing is pretty plausible IMO. In a way, Mason Jarr is their new god. Now all he needs to do is get his hands on the holy scrolls aka Holly’s SJ collection and he’ll rule that town.

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Pachyderp

Link To Today’s Strip

Ugh. Someone needs to confiscate Summer’s thesaurus. “Pachyderm in the parlor”…yikes almighty that’s just awful. Not even a big-headed kid as lame as Summer could utter anything that dumb in “real life”. Then perhaps Les could suggest a drug test for Keisha, who’s obviously been dipping into her mom’s Xanax or Thorazine stash, although I can’t really fault her for that if it is indeed the case.

Most importantly, though, someone needs to tell Mason to pay more attention while climbing those bannister-free stairs, because he appears to be a second away from taking a pretty bad spill. And you DO NOT want to get sick and/or injured in THAT town, trust me. That Taj Moore-hal is a death trap as it is, just ask Lisa. Yeah, I know she’s dead but still, she’ll probably be around shortly. Which reminds me, whatever you do there Mason, do NOT open the second door on the right because if the breeze blows out the candles on Les’ Lisa shrine, you won’t survive the night.

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