hatchet face – Son of Stuck Funky

Nanna, Na Na Nanna, Hey Hey Hey, Good Riddance

“Wait, what’s that other book next to it?”

“Oh, that old thing? That’s just “Lisa’s Story”, the culmination of the life’s work of Tom Batiuk, the greatest writer of his generation.”

“Tom Batiuk? Oh yeah, we learned about him in ancient history class. He created such iconic characters as Ed Crankshaft, Phil Holt, and Adeela the Architect, right?”

“That’s right, dear! “Lisa’s Story” was the greatest love story ever told, and once you read it, your perception of what a comic strip can be will be forever changed.”

“Really? Because I always thought comic strips were supposed to be funny.” Continue reading “Nanna, Na Na Nanna, Hey Hey Hey, Good Riddance”

Memories Of Tomorrow

today

So John Byrne and his annoying angular faces are back for the homestretch, eh? Well, you can put lipstick on a pig and so forth, but yadda yadda yadda get the f*ck out of here with this shit. He came up with a strip-ending premise…”Summer writes a history of Westview”…and THIS is where he ends up, in some distant futuristic future full of “solar scooters” and young women in 1960s go-go attire. Everything that happened up to this point? Completely meaningless. This is the culmination of decades of furious Batiuksturbation, right here. Ugh, I just made myself sick. Continue reading “Memories Of Tomorrow”

Stuck Inside of Westview with the Helmet Blues Again

If you’re going to write a time travel story, you either totally ignore all the possible, unintentional ramifications of transtemporal travel, or you make the story about those ramifications. Either way, doing so requires a fair amount of narrative skill. That is, at least make it entertaining enough so that hidebound literalists and beady-eyed nitpickers don’t feel compelled to tear it apart. Gosh, this arc is infuriating. Given his seemingly supernatural gifts, surely there was some way that Hedley could have gotten back the dreary magic helmet. He’s had over 40 years to do it! But noooooo, he was content to leave it in Donna’s possession, and now it’s disappeared (and how does he even know this?). As a result, he’s “stranded” in space and time, and, nothing against janitors, but it’s probably a pretty mundane existence for someone capable of time travel and mind control. But hey, at least the music’s good!

What’s in your head, in your head? Ruby, Ruby, Ruby-y-y-y

I’d argue that today’s strip is the product of an AI tasked with generating images for the word “wistful”… but that’s an insult to artificial intelligence and I don’t want to be responsible for unleashing Skynet. This is just completely sad, but in the stupidest way.

Mindy is the one that really punches up the stupidity here. First, “when” Ruby retires is essentially right now, it doesn’t need to be discussed as if it is well in the future. Second, Mindy also draws a paycheck from Atomik Komix… so does she dramatically underestimate the financial resources it takes to travel extensively or does Chester really pay that well?

And if Chester pays that well, why can’t he spend some money on an office that doesn’t look like a dungeon crawl game being played on a vintage grayscale Macintosh? Maybe everything in the office is made of stone. So that’s why they called him “Chester the Chiseler”!

Re-haiku-ment

Are we STILL on this?
More on Ruby's retirement
Here in today's strip

Batton butts right in
Again, he does NOT work here
Who asked him to speak?

Batton's questioning
A reflection of TB?
Is the strip's end near?

Or is this resolve?
Tom writing his thoughts in strip
Eff-ing ponderous

^{A warning haiku
The link above has cussing
That's NSFW!}

With Dinkle, Linda
And others who fake retire
Do we believe this?

We probably should
Not like TB gave Ruby
Anything worthwhile

Chester looks depressed
I mean, he's just despondent
In his sad jacket