Back Page News

Are you wondering how Bull’s wife and children are mourning his death? Maybe how his former players and fellow coaches, whose lives he surely had a large impact on, have reacted? Well, too bad for you, for the art of storytelling, and for general decency… because today’s strip is focused on four schmucks, only one of whom even knows Bull moderately well (and one who has NEVER once met the guy) and none of whom have talked to Bull in at least 3 full years. Heck, they aren’t even talking about Bull, they are awkwardly reminding us that Cindy was popular in high school.

Bull’s death only made page 2 of the Westview Gazette? This is a town with only five employers and Bull was the most decorated employee in the history of the largest of those. What could possibly have made the front page?

Helmet Heir

If you read the New York Times, then you’ve already seen today’s strip.

Long time readers are probably wondering why this state trooper is reenacting the second most memorable thing about “The Electric Company” with Linda instead of hauling off her baked meteorite, as the disposal of dangerous foodstuffs is the historical role of the Ohio State Police in Funky Winkerbean. I’m right there with you, as I honestly don’t know.

FW1-26-86

Hide-ku Hai-key

Gasp! It’s today’s strip!
Rummaging through the drawer
Linda finds failure

Bull asked for the keys
Is known obsessive searcher
Just what could go wrong?

Keys barely hidden?
Linda phones homebody Bull?
This is asinine

No, seriously
This narrative makes no sense
All over the place

A Chevette 4 door
Indy 500 pace car…
And what year was that?

Buckeye State Police
Really do use that logo
But don’t use Chevettes

Critically panned

Linda takes a break from baking a meatloaf? a potato grown under the power lines? you know, let’s go with a small boulder in today’s strip to… call Bull on his cell phone. Is… is that really what is happening here?  What the everwhating what?!

If Linda thought Bull was inside the house, why did she not walk 17 feet to try to find him instead of calling him on the telephone? If she knew he was out, where did she think he was and who did she think he was with (Buck?)? Was she really letting him go out on his own? This is her behavior as a caregiver? Even murderers after life insurance money would say she’s trying too hard.

While Bull didn’t survive his trip off Nobottom Road, his cell phone sure did. Much as how folks in our universe wonder why airplanes aren’t made out of the material used to make black boxes, one would think there are folks in the Batiukverse wondering why they don’t make cars out of the material used to make cell phones…

Ratchet excuse of a comic

It’s been one week since Bull went to see
Doctor Jowls who we think lives in Raleigh
Five panes in that Sunday strip, telling
Nothing TB had not already let slip
Three days since the garage scene
We get in today’s strip, “the hell was he wearing?”
One hour ago, Bull finally found the key
But it’s still six more weeks ’til we move on from this story

With sincerest apologies to Barenaked Ladies, Canada, and the late 1990s.