Tag Archives: neatly lettered signs

De-10-tion Center

Amicus continues to Amicus in today’s strip, quoting last year’s newspaper headlines almost verbatim…  Big kudos to commenter Banana Jr. 6000 for uncovering Breef’s past appearance in Crankshaft back on Monday.  The “Lionel Hutz of Westview” is not only less entertaining than the beloved Simpsons character (obviously), he also appears to somehow be even less competent at practicing law than the intentionally idiotic Hutz.

Writing facial recognition software in the Batiukverse has got to be the ultimate fool’s errand.  While I was not able to find any source for Amicus’ 20% of the time figure here in real life internetland, in Westview I would think the figure would be well above that.  WAY well above that.

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And he just can’t hide it…

Let’s all bid a hopeful farewell to Batton and, especially, Les in today’s strip. Les will sadly and undoubtedly return (please not for a good long while!), but what of Batton? This week’s story arc served to make him even les relevant than he seemed when he first appeared, and that’s saying something.

Not that doing interesting and relevant things is really a requirement to appear in Funky Winkerbean these days, but unless Batton gets cancer or (a year from now) the COVID-19 it is hard to see what else TB has for him to do. He’s appeared at Free Comic Book Day and he’s stood in front of Les’ class. What else is there? Well, if Batton ever does return, it’s a sure bet it will be during one of my stints writing this blog. I’m two for two so far, lucky me.

Now if Tom Batiuk himself is excited about writing this strip, he sure can hide it. He lost control years ago, and he probably likes it…

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App-alling

Ugh. You just know Batiuk indulged in an epic smirk after writing this one. Especially distasteful is how it carries on the long tradition of someone pointing that a joke is supposed to be funny. And you actually have someone physically pointing at the joke.
In unrelated news, Becky’s head has fallen off and been reattached at a terrible angle.

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Dead/Missing Children=Comedy Gold

“Hahaha, people dying or missing is hilarious!”-Tom Batiuk, who brought you Lisa’s Story, Bull’s Story, Susan’s Attempted Story, Jacques Stropp’s Off-Camera Story, Wally’s Simulated Video Game Story, and Wally’s MIA Story, all of which were Very, Very Serious and must not be mocked because just because they’re called the funny pages doesn’t mean they have to be funny.
In “Adding Hedge Funds to Your Joke Attempt Adds Nothing, Vol. 2” we have “Varies by district”, which adds nothing. Apart from “haha, educators come from different districts, that’s the gritty realism we’ve come to expect from this quarter inch from reality strip”.

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Is This Strip For Anyone?

Hey, a sign, and people standing around watching it. That’s sure a good use of comic’s sequential storytelling capabilities-people standing around looking at an inanimate object. I wonder how long before this entire strip is just white text on a black background.
Also, is there anything remotely funny in the sign itself, apart from “haha, people make a lot of money off band candy sales” (which seems to contradict the fact that bands and music departments are always hard up for money)? Yes, haha, hedge funds are an investment option, but pointing that out isn’t close to funny.
Here’s a much better investment option. Get a job where literally nobody pays attention to the quality of your work and milk it as long as you possibly can. Batiuk could definitely give lectures on that.

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Bury Dinkle, Please

Cultivating: to loosen or break up the soil about (growing plants). Nothing to do with burying. Or planting. Yes, this is basically all the reaction I had to today’s lame strip. Other than noticing the weirdly non-specific sign in the background. After specifically and obviously being the Ohio MEA for years it makes me wonder if either Batiuk thinks he somehow has a global audience and needs to be non-specific or maybe he’s mad at the OMEA or what. Maybe if the strip was even slightly more interesting I wouldn’t be wondering about this.
I just love Becky’s “my soul died twenty years ago” expression in the second panel. Like, this gag is supposed to be funny, right? So shouldn’t be smiling? If not, if it’s supposed to be lame, shouldn’t she be rolling or eyes or looking exasperated? I mean the guiding philosophy behind this strip has been “I don’t care anymore” but it really doesn’t need to be seeping into the actual facial expressions of the characters.

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